Intro and opinion needed

MrsSwitzee · February 2013

Hello, I?ve been lurking for awhile now and feel it?s time to intro.

I am 41 and DH is 48 we are married a year and a half and have been TTC since November 2011. I had 2 mc?s in 2003 and 2006 from a previous marriage so I kind of knew I had issues but lo and behold so does DH (low count, morph and motility). We attempted our first IVF in December 2012 which was promptly cancelled for no response at max stims and quickly decided to move forward with DE.

Our clinic has just provided us with a donor profile that seems to be a good candidate for us as she has 2 children of her own and has previously donated twice which both times resulted in pregnancies. She sounds pretty great doesn?t she??? Here?s the kicker in speaking briefly on the phone with our donor coordinator this morning I was told she is difficult to stimulate. Sometimes they have to cancel a cycle and then restart but once she begins to respond she responds beautifully.

We have an appointment on Thursday to get more details on this donor but I would like to hear your opinions on whether or not you would use a donor that is difficult to stimulate.

Thank you!

MrsT4 · February 2013

First, welcome to this board and so sorry you have to be here!

Here's my personal opinion, but keep in mind that even a twice proven donor doesn't always = success...unfortunately, I know this first hand. But in my case, I think it has less to do with the donor and more to do with me. FWIW, my donor stimulated VERY easily and was twice proven and here I am still not pregnant...hence, my decision to get immune testing.

Anyway, that said, I would be cautious of using her from both a financial and emotional standpoint...meaning if they have to cancel a cycle, I'm assuming you would have to pay for all of the monitoring and drugs up until that point.

Also, this process is already so stressful and emotional to begin with...I don't know if I would be willing to accept the fact that she's had to cancel before and may have to cancel again.

Finally, consider your age...I'm also AMA (42 going on 43), so you need to consider how long a cycle will take if they have to restart her.

With all of this in mind, I would ask the following questions when you have your appointment:

- How old is this donor?

- Why is she difficult to stimulate? Is her FSH higher than normal? Or is it age related? (I would assume any hint of a problem would have meant she would have been removed from the donor pool, but it doesn't hurt to ask).

- Who is responsible for paying for a cancelled cycle (I assume it would be you - not the donor). And does your insurance cover DE IVF, meds, etc. or are you all OOP?

- Have her prior donations resulted in live births (or are they still pregnant)? And have her prior cycles resulted in frosties (extra frozen embryos)?

- Regarding timing, how long did it take to complete a full cycle (start to finish) when they had to restart her?

Anyway, I'm sorry if I sound like a negative nelly...but like I said there are several things to consider before moving forward. I would ask yourself if you can handle the emotional and financial implications and possible timing issues before committing to this donor.

((Hugs)), as I know this process isn't always easy. Best of luck to you, with whatever you decide.

stinkerbell6879 · February 2013

Welcome! and ((HUGS))) and I am going to just ditto MrsT....Unless your RE has a policy in place where you are not OOP for cycles she does not respond properly too, then I would be concerned from an OOP standpoint. GL!

MrsSwitzee · February 2013

Thank you for your responses.

I do know the donor is 26 and her hormone levels are perfect which is why they continue to use her, she is just slow to stim. I will ask more clarification at our appt.

We are OOP for DE so I was definitely going to ask about cost regarding any canceled/delayed cycles (all donor meds are included in our DE pricing).

Other profiles we received were first time donors and I am just most comfortable using a proven donor eventhough I know in any case there are no guarantees.

I am very happy you are all here to provide support and honest opinions.

chicagobride_07 · February 2013

Welcome....

This is such a personal thing. For me, DE was so expensive, I wanted to give myself the best chances going in. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, as my donor agency and RE were quick to point out. When my first donor cycle failed, it was very depressing- somehow I felt comfort in the fact that I had used a proven donor who hadn't had issues in the past- that I had done everything I could (within reason) to try to make the cycle successful.

I will say that my RE had worked with our donor several times and knew how she stimulated. Again, he was careful to mention nothing was guaranteed, but bet he'd retrieve ~ 20 eggs and end up with 7-8 blasts. He was right on target.

GL!

2MamazInSeattle · February 2013

Hi! I think the advice here is spot on...we only wanted a proven donor and though there are nor guarantees, there still is some comfort in knowing she has made babies this way before. Another thing for us was the costs, and knowing that they knew her protocol and that it worked great. I would just get a clear understanding of the costs of her drugs... I had a friend whose donor didn't respond so they switched protocol mid cycle and she had to pay for two batches of drugs.

It's good however that they are being up front with you! Ask lots of questions and then follow your gut feeling.

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