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February 2013 Moms
GeeksWithSqueaks
member
Inconsiderate People Vent!
GeeksWithSqueaks
member
So after finding out I was going to need a c-section since baby flipped to breech yesterday we decided we were only going to tell immediate family (In-laws and my parents). We didn't want a million phone calls, or Facebook messages we just wanted to try and live today like normal. Since I am feel better about it but still obviously as a FTM really nervous about the whole thing.
Well I woke up this morning to find 10 messages on my phone, about 15 private messages on Facebook and all of which were from people who weren't suppose to know!! And their comments have been great. (Apparently my MIL told their whole family, who told their small communities and churches so pretty much everyone knows) Her defense was that we shouldn't be selfish and hide the fact that the baby is coming, that we have no right and that I should stop convincing her son to go along with my stupid ideas.
But to the comments seriously'
5 people have told me not to worry about it and be thankful for the fact that I get to get out of it the easy way ( so don't consider this the easy way)
3 people told me not to be nervous dont even think about it, its nothing
1 person went as far as to suggest I ask for a tummy tuck at the same time to help solve my looking big problem ( I dont look big I am big)
1 told me that just because I failed at giving birth doesn't mean I will fail at being a mom, but that I should pray god gives me the strength to do it better next time
and that's where I stopped reading. But seriously there was several reason I didn't want people to know, like I wanted to deal with my head space first, and GAH!!!
Sorry to Vent but we explicitly stated that we were only telling the parents and his sister we didn't want anyone else to know till we were ready to tell people!!! I am so ANGRY at this situation, and every time the phone rings I get so annoyed all over again (it hasn't stopped all day and I cant turn it off since DH is driving down and checking in so I dont stress about him on the winter roads.)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Inconsiderate People Vent!
I like cookies.
That was disturbingly inappropriate of your MIL. I wouldn't be surprised if you stopped telling her stuff. People don't have any rights when it comes to your baby. Her use of the word "selfish" is just her being manipulative.
And that last comment... WOW!
In any matter, I wish you the best, and I hope you recover quickly. I've heard of some people who are able to give birth vaginally with a breached baby, but I'm sure you and your doctor have explored every option.
Best of luck!
No doubt about it people are stupid and I would be super ticked. Nobody has a "right" to know anything about your delivery or body that you don't want them too. I fight the same battle with my IL's of overshare and TMI. I had a cs with DS1 and am having a repeat this go round. I will say that the good news about a CS is that it spares you in embarrassment of having your in-laws post about your cervix/progress online. That said I don't know that I would tell them when the surgery is scheduled so that they cant go blab details that aren't their's to share.
As for people's stupid comments, that is some of the dumbest stuff in the world. Nobody wants major surgery but that is a sacrifice that a mother makes when necessary to bring her child safely into this world. No birth is the "easy" way and God will watch over you no matter how your child comes into this world.
With this baby mil asked me if she could have lo 1 bc she wants another kid and were going to have another. Needless to say lo only has supervised visits with the crazy lady.
That last one is a dousie! My baby was breech and we didn't find out until I was 8 cms. C-sections aren't cop outs or make you less a woman. I would write back saying that instead of praying to god to do better next time that you will pray instead for thankfulness that He has allowed modern medicine for you to safely deliver your baby.
Keep calm mama and your head up high.
I'm so happy that my fantastic SO was the one that voiced keeping his controlling mother out of our plans as much as possible. The first question we got after announcing we're expecting was wether ALL the grandparents would be in the room for delivery, and she still thinks we're odd for not going to an OB/hospital for delivery.
I would have probably gone berserk on my MIL(so thankful she's not like this!) Like smack her, berserk. If it's pretty much everyone on facebook and your phone I'd send out a massive text saying while the well wishes are accepted this was supposed to be a private matter and you'd appreciate a little privacy. If your MIL jumps on you, I would have the nurses not allow her in the room after you're in recovery.
How rude!