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April 2013 Moms
Jillianproulx
member
This drives me crazy!
Jillianproulx
member
One of my SIL has an almost 2 year old and my other SIL has a 3 month old.
SIL #1 doesn't change her toddler's diaper for like 30 minutes after he poops!!! First of all it stinks and I don't want to smell that. Second of all, that is so mean to make him sit in his poop for that long! She is due with a baby the week before me and she doesn't want to potty train him while pregnant bc it's too hard. (wouldn't it be harder with a newborn?) He shows all the signs of ready to be potty trained too (hiding to go poop, embarrassed with diaper changes, and he tells us when he has to go and when he is going pee.)
SIL#2 is constantly out of diapers and wipes so she is forced to wait to change her little babies diapers. Why can't she just pack her diaper bag a little better?
I'm a FTM so maybe this is a common thing, BUT I will never leave my baby/toddler in their poopy diaper that long! It is so mean.
Also I hate when moms in general don't wipe their kids faces. Who cares if they don't like it or will cry for a minute after you wipe their nose... don't make them walk around with crusty mouths and slimy noses. That is wrong too.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: This drives me crazy!
Not to sound super snarky, but let's check back in on your "I will never..." statements 2 years from now...
You're going to be in for a wake up call, that's for sure.
First of all, my DS would poop, then poop 5 minutes later, so we always waited to change his diapers. ALWAYS. Otherwise it was a waste of time and diapers.
Secondly, have you ever heard of regression? Many, many, many potty-trained kids regress when they get a younger sibling. And actually, there aren't a whole lot of 2-year-olds that are potty trained anyway.
As far as your other SIL- her baby is 3 months old. Wait until you get there- even when you want to be the perfect mom, it doesn't always happen like that.
Geez, you sound like a real winner.
It could definitely be a money thing, so wouldn't she want to get her little boy potty trained so she doesn't have 2 kids in diapers?? And as far regressing, if he is trained well enough before the baby is born he has way less of a chance of regressing or having accidents.
I get that your kid can not be done pooping, so waiting 5 or 10 minutes makes sense. But 30 minutes? That just doesn't seem realistic
I still think it's mean to make them sit in a dirty diaper, and YES in 2 years I will be checking in.
I don't want to be the mom that runs out of wipes or diapers out and about, so I will have a stash in my car as well.
I was a nanny for 2 years for a little girl starting at 13 months and I never ran out of anything for her. I was always prepared and I will be for my own baby
You can think I'm wrong for this, but at least I'll be taking care of my baby.
Ya I totally understand that after being a full time nanny to a toddler. I'm hoping if I just always wipe their face right away they will just get used to it. But I still won't allow my kid to walk around with a dirty face. it grosses people out and that's the last thing I would want for my little girl.
Why are former nannies so darn smug? Seriously, nannying/babysitting/raising your siblings is NOTHING like having your own child.
Also, just because she runs out of diapers, she's not taking care of her baby?
Well she hasn't tried potty training him. Maybe it will just "click" for him but how is anyone supposed to know without giving him a chance to learn? I know plenty of 18 month olds that were potty trained and do great, I also know 3 1/2 year olds that really struggle. my nephew is pretty advanced, I think he is more than ready he just needs to be taught.
I know it's nothing like being a mom, butI have about as much experience as I can without having a child of my own.
She woke up at 7am, I got there at 7:30am
Her parents got home from work at 5:30pm and she went to sleep at 6:30pm
Mon-Fri. I took her to Dr. appts, music class, dance, the library for story time.... I WAS the 3rd parent
She was with her parents a total of 1.5 hours and I was with her for 10 per day
At 2 years old I potty trained her in one week, and she only had 2 accidents in the following weeks only bc we were in the car and couldn't get to a bathroom in time.
Please. Just stop.
I know every child is different. Like I said in an earlier post, I know 18 month olds that do great and I know 3.5 year olds that are still learning.
Also I never told her that she should potty train her son but when I asked if she was going to to before her baby was born she said no bc it's too hard to get him on and off the toilet and potty training seats gross her out. So she is waiting.
Baby on Board - My Blog
Running to hide while pooping is actually not a sign that they are ready to potty train. The child has to have 2 things......1- the ability to feel the urge to go PRIOR to going (that does not include....mommy I'm pooping) and 2- the desire to stay/be clean.
Clearly this child does not have the desire to be clean or he would be throwing a HUGE fit if he's left sitting in his poop pants for 30 minutes. I don't know this mom and her tactics could be coming from a super lazy place, but it also could be her seeing how long she can leave him in there before he starts saying how gross the poop in his pants feels. If he still hasn't fussed about it at 30 minutes, I'd say he's probably not ready to be potty trained because he just doesn't care. If you do it before the kid is actually ready, you are not potty training the kid, you are potty training yourself to remember to take them to the bathroom every 30 minutes/60 minutes.
As far as the not having enough diapers/wipes in the diaper bag.....that is just poor planning on the mom's part. I've run out of wipes a few times and it sucked so now I double check before we leave every single time. And if DH is taking our daughter out without me, I check the bag for supplies before he goes even if it's the night before. It's all about planning on that one and I'd rather have WAY more diapers than you think because you never know when explosive diarrhea is going to hit because believe me.....it does and it's absolutely disgusting when you run out of wipes!
Hopefully your LO is as easy as the little girl you used to nanny. Otherwise you are in for a world of disappointment.
On the clean face thing - most days DD is a beautiful little child with a clean face & envious skin. When she has a cold (which is often), her nose runs. You try to keep wiping it, it gets raw & chapped & flakey & looks (and feels) worse. She screams when you wipe it because its so sore. You decide a little snot is better than causing her pain just for vanity's sake. You will get snot on your sweaters & pants when your LO hugs you and (almost) not mind so much anymore. It comes with the territory, you do your best and pick your battles.
On the diapers, 30 min is NOT the norm, but maybe she's knows her kid & has learned that something else happens in those 30 mins. Or she's just a little lazy. Who knows, the point is, don't judge.
Wow, there are some mean a$$ people on this forum! I don't post on here a ton, because I usually don't have time at work ... and then I'm just too tired. But seriously, I want to punch some of you regulars in the face! Why do you feel the need to attack others and call THEM judge mental? Take a look in the mirror!
That being said. OP - under 2 might be too soon for potty training. But, from what you described, if I were her, I'd be trying to do it beforehand. Potty training, especially if you do the straight to undies version, is messy and frustrating. Who wants that with a newborn? And I get waiting to make sure he's finished, but 30 minutes is disgusting.
at some point, you will run out of something. But let's face it, with a necessity like diapers, that shouldn't happen often. If she is that unfocused, to regularly run out, perhaps she's not doing well. The baby blues can really sneak up on you, and it's not always evident to others. Maybe you should check in with her and make sure everything's ok.
i hate duty snotty faces too. There's no excuse for leaving food all over your kids face ... once they're done eating that is. But sometimes the snot battle is one you just can't win.
and for some PPers ... Here's me being judgemental. There is no excuse, other than medical/mental issues, for a 3.5 to 4 yo to not be potty trained. None. I thought my 2.5 yo son wasn't ready because he could care less about having a dirty diaper. But I tried the 3 day potty training anyway, you know, because he was 2.5! He went straight to undies, it really clicked in about 5 days, and he never even wet the bed. So much for not being ready. I may not be the greatest mom in the world, but some learning hurdles are more about parenting than the kid.
that is all.
This post made me LOL.
I think we got irked by the OP because she is basing her parenting knowledge on nannying what sounds to be like an abnormally easy little girl and calling herself the 3rd parent. No matter what. It's not the same and she shouldn't judge other mothers.
Maybe nannying was easy because she got to go home and sleep 8 hour nights and have weekends off. All the while the moms she is judging are up all night with their kids and then are expected to be perfect mothers 24/7.
It's annoying.
Personally, I'm a huge fan of the "under 50 posts" bumpies who jump in to say we're all a bunch of big meanies!!!! It's just so...adorable. I'm willing to bet they've never ventured into a post where we've offered sympathy to other bumpies going through a difficult time, gentle (yes, it does exist on the Bump!) advice, or just plain 'ole commiseration. Bottom line-we call it like we see it. The OP sounds incredibly high and mighty, and there are few things that irritate me more than non-parents giving the holier-than-thou attitude towards other parents if they're doing something you don't personally agree with. Sorry, but if the kid isn't being abused or neglected, MYOB. Oh, and OP? As far as the "I spend over 10 hours a day with this child and her parents spend 1.5 hours with her"...I'm not touching that with a 10-foot pole. I'm willing to bet a lot of angry working parents are going to call you out on that snarky comment. And rightfully so.
Anyway.
Every child is different, and I cannot stress this enough. My mom had me potty trained in roughly 3 days because I saw "pretty big girl underwear" at the store, and my mom told me I could have them if I used the potty like a big girl. My brother, on the other hand, wasn't potty trained until he was almost 3. He told my mom "I like my diapers, they're warm and comfy." He knew HOW to use the potty; he just didn't want to. My mom tried everything from reading his favorite books to him on the potty, to rewards, to finally punishment (i.e you can't go to the park today if you're going to wear your diaper. Diapers are for babies and I thought you were a big boy). It was a combination of punishment and seeing friends his age wearing underwear that finally made my brother stop going in his diapers.
Every child is different. Every child is different. Repeat it until it sinks in.
Amen.
yeah, I get that ... it's bound to be totally different, no matter how much time you spend with the kid. And it's easy to have a ton of opinions BEFORE you have your own. But there is just no excuse for the way some people attack others on here. Granted, I'm extra disgruntled today, but the nastiness has really gotten to me. This should be a happy, helpful forum ... not a "she doesn't know what she's talking about so let's ripe her a new one" forum. Some of these mommas need to grow up a little before April!
The thing about motherhood is that you are never going to do everything right. You may try your hardest, but someone is always going to think you are wrong, or disagree with something. I think its incredibly important to be supportive to the women in your life - family, friends, even your SILs - who are in a position to provide you with support.
Whether you like it or not, your child is not going to do everything perfectly. Sure, you may be a good diaper changer, face cleaner, and potty trainer, but that baby is going to change into a child before you can blink an eye, and parenting is a whole different ballgame than caring for basic needs.
I suggest changing your attitude about the women in your life a bit, or find friends who you can lean on. Like it or not, you are going to need support.
I am confused too - where is the nastiness? I think most of the responses are along the lines of, "don't judge until you are there", in a form of SOLIDARITY among moms!
2nd mention of you being a nanny... That is great and all but is NOTHING compared to being a mom. Seriously. I was a f/t nanny for many years to all ages before having a child of my own and the two just don't even compare. It gave me good idea of some gear I wanted and gave me a huge appreciation for investing in a fantastic stroller, and obviously a few insights into current baby/child care practices but being a nanny is not being a mom. I don't want you to get too stressed when your bubble bursts. Don't have too many "I will never"s because you'll probably eat your words later.
Wow... I'm so glad there is a parenting and child care expert here to give us this wisdom. So glad your child has given you such insight into the whole pf parenting that you can say what is right for all kids regarding potty training. Ugh, please shut up now.
Most of the posts are about not judging until you are in the SIL's situations, but I think a post saying OP sounds like a smug b!tch can be called nasty and rude.