Does this ever get easier???

jenspeidel · February 2013

Today is the last day of my 3rd week back at work. Before DD was born, I absolutely loved my job. I thought I'd just take a couple months off...there was no way I could sit at home with her for the whole 12 weeks. Then, she was born! Because of TN laws, I was able to stay home for 14 weeks. During those last 3-4 weeks of leave, we had settled into a very nice routine for all of us...including 10 hours of straight sleeping at night.

Now that I'm back at work, I can't concentrate for very long on my work (hence, why I'm on these boards right now). I hate the thought of leaving my DD with a babysitter for 10 hours every day. I keep thinking that I'm missing out on her growing up. Now, she has a hard time falling asleep at night. It breaks my heart to have to see her all fussy in the morning when I'm waking her up to get her ready for the babysitter.

When I get home from work, I am so exhausted. I have to wake up at 4:30am just to get us all ready, to the babysitter, and me to work at time. I feel like b/c I'm so tired, the time I spend with her after work isn't very quality time. I hate feeling like I'm neglecting her!

Does this ever get any better? When will it become the new normal? This is so much harder than I could ever imagine!

jlaOK · February 2013

What you're feeling is completely normal. I think that we all went through a transition period when we first started back at work. It will get easier - give yourself some time. Also remember that DD has to adjust too.

What time do you leave in the morning? 4:30 wake up doesn't sound fun at all. Maybe if you give us some details we can give some ideas to lessen your morning routine that way you can get some more sleep.

Good luck!

Ardmhs83 · February 2013

It is really hard and it does get easier, but I won't lie and say it totally goes away. At least not for me, personally. My son is 2 and a half and I still long to not be working and be home with him everyday. Some days it gets to me and I'm more sad than other days. With time you will feel a little better, but I think all of us as working moms miss our children and sometimes miss out on some things that they do. It is a hard balancing act, but you will figure it out.
Good luck!

JulyMomma2U2 · February 2013

I can relate to this a lot. I've been back for ~4 months and it's still a major struggle. I am SO exhausted when I get home (being pg doesn't help, though). I shamefully admit that I probably check the clock half a dozen times in the 2 hours I have with DS to see if it's nearing bedtime simply because I"m so tired. It's awful.

tabaskoa · February 2013

It does get easier, hang in there. But it will never go back to how it was before baby.

I know it's different for everyone, but I had many of the same feelings you do. During the infant stage (even though DS was sleeping great) I was always exhausted. Between all the pumping I was doing and cleaning and prepping bottles, on top of getting all the "normal" stuff done around the house it really was difficult. On top of that, I had a very hard time finding where I fit in again at work.

It was the hardest for the first 2 months after going back, then it started to get easier, routine. After the bottle stage was over, things got even better. Now my DS is 2.5 and things are pretty great. He loves going to daycare and we have a great routine.

2chatter · February 2013

Honestly it did not get easier for me until I had my second. Somehow having MORE to do made getting into a groove easier. It also helped that by that time I could see how awesome my older daughter was doing - it helped to see that really, life was fine, she was fine, better than fine really - and I could let the guilt and anxiety go.

Tina272 · February 2013

2chatter:
Honestly it did not get easier for me until I had my second. Somehow having MORE to do made getting into a groove easier. It also helped that by that time I could see how awesome my older daughter was doing - it helped to see that really, life was fine, she was fine, better than fine really - and I could let the guilt and anxiety go.

I agree with this. DD talking about how much she loves school (daycare) and excited to go everyday makes me more confident in our decisions for DD & DS.

thedash · February 2013

It does get better but it took a long time for me to really feel normal. When I was still pumping and DS was an infant things were hard. Now that he's two it helps that he sits and eats dinner with us then can play independently with his Legos or cars while I clean up. He likes to read books before bed and is just more interactive in the time we have together too. You will get there. The truth is that little babies are just hard and a lot of work!

It also sounds like you have a long commute and early schedule. Is there anything you can do to get more sleep? Shower at night? Change your schedule? I couldn't function for long getting up at 4:30 every day.

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