Cloth diapers and In-laws — The Bump
Parenting

Cloth diapers and In-laws

Ok, so here's the situation:

We are temporarily living in my in-laws basement. I love them, and we get along great, most of the time. However, I have been talking about cloth diapering my baby for months. I finally decide that I am going to, invest the money in it. And out of nowhere, FIL and MIL say they don't want me to use cloth diapers. The idea of putting poo in the washer grosses them out. Ok, I get that! I will hand wash, or go to a laundry mat a couple times a week. My MIL says: "well, maybe this summer, but right now our house is running in a semi chaos, and I just don't think it's gonna work for us." They never change baby man's dipes... It's all me! Maybe I'm just being ridiculous... but who are they to tell me I can't choose a healthier option for, our baby, environment, and our wallet? I mean really? Your gonna tell me what I can and can't put on my baby's butt?

Re: Cloth diapers and In-laws

  • I can see their point.  Either you use their washer, or you leave poopy cloths around for days at a time until you go to a laundry mat.  I'm guessing either idea grosses them out.

    It's tough, but since it is their home, and they're not just weighing in on what you should or should not do in your own home, I think they've got the right to say what they're thinking, and I'm thinking you should respect it.  What does your DH think?

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • I would be going to a laundry mat every other day, and dipes would be stored in a wet bag... so no stink! He thinks it's kinda ridiculous that they told us we couldn't. I mean if they were like, Hey, could you rethink this? This is what we think. But it wasn't them just weighing in, or them giving their opinion. They flat out told me what I couldn't do with my baby. I want the respect their request, but I also want to do what is best for my baby. I'm not saying it's best for everyone. But for my baby man, I know it is. 
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  • imagetearsintojewels:
    I would be going to a laundry mat every other day, and dipes would be stored in a wet bag... so no stink! He thinks it's kinda ridiculous that they told us we couldn't. I mean if they were like, Hey, could you rethink this? This is what we think. But it wasn't them just weighing in, or them giving their opinion. They flat out told me what I couldn't do with my baby. I want the respect their request, but I also want to do what is best for my baby. I'm not saying it's best for everyone. But for my baby man, I know it is. 

    Twice a week is not every other day.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • While it would be annoying that they flat out told you no and yes you know whats best for your baby...you are living in there house. In this situation you really should respect the request. I mean is this really really worth a fight? This might be something you need to put off until you guys have your own place you know.

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  • Sorry, I should have said a few times a week. My bad!
  • Sooo wtf do they think happens to the clothes that gets pooped on in a blowout?

    I'd get the diapers and not say a word. If you're the one changing diapers, they wouldn't notice for a while anyway. Just get a sprayer for the toilet to get most of the poo off, store them properly, and go to the laundry mat.
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  • imageFairyDuster003:
    Sooo wtf do they think happens to the clothes that gets pooped on in a blowout?

    FWIW, I had some clothes that were so bad, they went straight in the trash. 

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • Brandi has a good idea as well. Ask them to let you do it for a week or two. You never know it may even convert them :) I loved CDing but I had to do this for DH's benefit.

    Just be prepared for them to say no and understand that since this is a temporary living arrangment you will have the freedom to do it soon enough :)

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  • imageGracey_Manor Maid:

    Brandi has a good idea as well. Ask them to let you do it for a week or two. You never know it may even convert them :) I loved CDing but I had to do this for DH's benefit.

    Just be prepared for them to say no and understand that since this is a temporary living arrangment you will have the freedom to do it soon enough :)

    Isn't that a big investment?

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • imageJ&A2008:
    imageGracey_Manor Maid:

    Brandi has a good idea as well. Ask them to let you do it for a week or two. You never know it may even convert them :) I loved CDing but I had to do this for DH's benefit.

    Just be prepared for them to say no and understand that since this is a temporary living arrangment you will have the freedom to do it soon enough :)

    Isn't that a big investment?

    She says she is ready to invest in CDing and they are ready to go. If thats true and the living arrangment is in fact temp. then no not really. she would simply be starting her supply. and she could even use it as an oppurtunity to figure out which CDing system works best for her family.

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  • imageJ&A2008:
    imageGracey_Manor Maid:

    Brandi has a good idea as well. Ask them to let you do it for a week or two. You never know it may even convert them :) I loved CDing but I had to do this for DH's benefit.

    Just be prepared for them to say no and understand that since this is a&nbsp;temporary living arrangment you will have the freedom to do it soon enough :)

    Isn't that a big investment?


    They do have trials for cheap through Jullians drawers.

    But there can be a learning curve. I'd hate to fail and have them say no.

    Have you asked their concern about it being stored airtight and not in their washer?


    image image
  • I live in my ILs basement and we CD. They don't notice unless I'm actually doing the laundry and the machine is in use. My MIL was hesitant at first, because she does change the boys. But she thinks the "new" cloth diapers are super cool.

    I would try to have a quiet conversation and tell them your specific plans for addressing their concerns. 

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  • imageFairyDuster003:
    Sooo wtf do they think happens to the clothes that gets pooped on in a blowout? I'd get the diapers and not say a word. If you're the one changing diapers, they wouldn't notice for a while anyway. Just get a sprayer for the toilet to get most of the poo off, store them properly, and go to the laundry mat.

    This. Properly stored, frequently washed CDs don't smell nearly as bad as a diaper pail of dirty disposables. If you're not using their washer I really don't think they should have any kind of say in it, even if you're in their house. There are going to be dirty diapers around one way or another, what does it matter what they are made of? 

    I would bring it up again though at some point, explain that most poop goes in the toilet where it belongs. Offer to wipe down the washer with a mild bleach solution after using it, and chip in extra for the water bill, if they would allow you to use the washer. Otherwise, stick with the laundry mat til you can get your own place. 

    I'm sorry your family isn't supportive, that sucks.  


  • People who don't cloth diaper are often way off base about what it actually entails.

    The diapers go into a pail that is lined with an antibacterial, anti-smell liner.  All poop is disposed of into the toilet, where poop goes.  If they don't want residuals in their washer, I can see that.  Many worse things go into washers, so it's stupid, but it's their prerogative.  But if you're the one doing all the diapering and laundering at the laundromat then I don't believe they have a say in whether you choose to CD, whether you live with them or not.

    Sounds to me like they're just looking for one reason or another to deter you from CDing.  I'm sure if you find a way around their current excuses they'll simply find new ones.

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  • I have to side with the ILs. It's their home and they can dictate what you put into their washer no matter how silly you think their reasoning is.
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  • You've said you'll go to the laundromat.  So once you take out THEIR washer out of the equation, I'm not sure what this has to do w/ your ILs at all.  Why is this something to be discussed any further?

    Use CDs.  Don't talk to them about it.  Go to the laundromat.  I'll bet you it will take some time before they clue in that you've switched.  And when they do clue in, they'll see that it's NO IMPACT on them what-so-ever.  

    I really don't get how this decision, at this point, has anything to do w/ them at all. 

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  • imageBrandi Bee:

    It totally annoys me when people say "Oh, poopy prefolds, yuck."

    Um, Isla's prefolds that had been pooped on NEVER smelled as bad as a poopy disposable in the trash can.  Your ILs are obviously ignorant about CDing.  H was too.  Ask if you can do a little trial to prove to them it won't smell their house up.

    If they say no, however, I do agree there isn't a lot you can do about it besides get your own place.

    Yeah, if they think they have a problem with CDs stinking up the place, they have a surprise in store with stinky sposies in the trash can. I can understand they don't want you to use their washer (well, no, I don't understand that, but I'd let it be), but if you're willing to go to the laundromat I don't see what the problem is. But, do you really want to spend 2 hours at the laundromat every 2 days? That would suck.

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  • image-auntie-:

    We use a diaper service.  Most of the people on the CD board will tell you it's not worth it, but to us, it is.

    We get prefolds from the service, a diaper pail, deodorizer disc, and pail liner. We pay $78/month and also buy maybe one package per month of disposables for overnights/travel.  So we maybe spent $88/month on diapers total.  I don't know how much disposables cost per month full time, but I think we're about even. Add in the benefits of cloth and I think we're ahead.

    ETA: We put the diapers outside one pickup day and come home to a bag full of fresh diapers that night. 

    If you're willing to go to a laundromat, though, I don't see how it's any of their business. 

  • I second this! If you aren't using their washer, this doesn't affect their house and shouldn't be their business.

    imageNativeFloridian:

    People who don't cloth diaper are often way off base about what it actually entails.

    The diapers go into a pail that is lined with an antibacterial, anti-smell liner.  All poop is disposed of into the toilet, where poop goes.  If they don't want residuals in their washer, I can see that.  Many worse things go into washers, so it's stupid, but it's their prerogative.  But if you're the one doing all the diapering and laundering at the laundromat then I don't believe they have a say in whether you choose to CD, whether you live with them or not.

    Sounds to me like they're just looking for one reason or another to deter you from CDing.  I'm sure if you find a way around their current excuses they'll simply find new ones.

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  • She's already said she is willing to go to the laundromat. If that's the case, it's not thier business.

    imageKlondikeBar:
    I have to side with the ILs. It's their home and they can dictate what you put into their washer no matter how silly you think their reasoning is.
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  • You will need to use a washer a lot more often and if you're going to a laundry mat you will spend so much money there, not to mention you have to check with some of them as they may not allow that type of washing. As far as your inlaws go, since you are living with them you need to respect their wishes, even if it sucks and you disagree. Maybe take them with you to a store and show them how cloth diapering has advanced over the years, or a cloth diapering clinic. Many hospitals and local childbirth educators have those types of classes now.
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  • Did you already buy the diapers?  If so, use them and go to the laundromat. They really cant' tell you what to do with your baby and your money.  

    If not, I'd probably just use disposables for the time being.


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