book/card issue

StarBe · February 2013

So my wonderful hostess just sent me a copy of the invite and it has the book/card "THING".

So now that im am already in the position of being rude or my hostess being rude and me being rude by defult the only thing I can think of is to add a bunch of books to my registry?

Thoughts? does this sound like a "solution" I'm at a loss otherwise

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

I would honestly let it go.

Yes it's a bit on the tacky side, but most people will assume that you had nothing to do with the planning of your shower and understand that this was not your idea.

Most times, IMO, etiquette faux pas are committed due to ignorance as to what is proper, not malice. It sounds like maybe your hostess heard of/ saw this idea somewhere and thought it would be cute. I honestly think that a lot of people feel this way about the book /card thing (present company excluded Smile )

I think it would be worse to point out her gaffe.

Enjoy your baby shower!

526SadieSadie · February 2013

You could absolutely add some books to your registry as a way to make yourself feel less icky about it.

Keep in mind, this is your hostess's faux pas, not yours. I wouldn't side-eye the guest of honor if I received an invitation with something like that on it unless I knew the MTB/BTB asked for it.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

MandJS:
It's definitely lose-lose, at this point, but yes. I'd add a bunch of books to the registry.

I think adding the books makes it look like she asked the hostess to do the card/ book thing. JMO.

luvsdogs2 · February 2013

My hostesses did this, too *sigh* I had already had some books on my registry because I had seen an article on the top books for toddlers, so I wanted to remember them, and I'm guessing that's where they got the inspiration. Honestly, only my hostesses even got me any of the books I had registered for, so I wouldn't worry about it. Nothing you can do at this point.

526SadieSadie · February 2013

Helenahhandbasket:

MandJS:
It's definitely lose-lose, at this point, but yes. I'd add a bunch of books to the registry.

I think adding the books makes it look like she asked the hostess to do the card/ book thing. JMO.

It might appear that way, yes but I think doing it might be better to avoid 10 copies of Green Eggs and Ham. And someone might make a mini library as their whole gift.

runningyogimama · February 2013

I think (hope) the guests will realize it was the hostess' idea, and not yours. My MIL hosted my family shower a few weeks ago, and I was actually completely blindsided when I showed up, and after a few guests had arrived with books instead of cards, I realized what was going on (she left the "book instead of a card" part off of the invitation she gave to me....). I was slightly mortified, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I actually had registered for books already, hoping people would get those as their presents, but it didn't stop me from ending up with multiples of just about everything I received. Having them on the registry made them easier to exchange, though (the ones that weren't written in...).

StarBe · February 2013

thanks everyone!

I did have a few books on my registry already so I may just add a few more (2-3) as a pp said I dont want a bunch of duplicates... even though I know some duplicates are bound to happen...

uhhhhh totally wish she had asked first

MommaT413 · February 2013

i found the book instead of a card idea on pinterest and i LOVED it. i remember my library as a kid and my mom always reading books to us. we have soo many cards besides the guest can personalize the book like they would a card which makes it all the more special.

jmchiaravalle · February 2013

MommaT413:
i found the book instead of a card idea on pinterest and i LOVED it. i remember my library as a kid and my mom always reading books to us. we have soo many cards besides the guest can personalize the book like they would a card which makes it all the more special.

I had books as cards at my shower, and didn't see the big deal. After reading about it on here I can see the negatives, but I don't think it's as horrible as everyone makes it out to be. I think I've seen a LOT worse at showers. Like addressing your own thank you card. Yikes.

PinkLillyLover · February 2013

Helenahhandbasket:
I would honestly let it go.
Yes it's a bit on the tacky side, but most people will assume that you had nothing to do with the planning of your shower and understand that this was not your idea.
Most times, IMO, etiquette faux pas are committed due to ignorance as to what is proper, not malice. It sounds like maybe your hostess heard of/ saw this idea somewhere and thought it would be cute. I honestly think that a lot of people feel this way about the book /card thing (present company excluded)
I think it would be worse to point out her gaffe.
Enjoy your baby shower!

This!

Marissa0717 · February 2013

My mom's coworker told her about this and my mom and sister insisted it would be awesome. I voiced my opposition on the matter, but they stuck to their guns. In the end it wasn't worth me getting upset over since they are the ones throwing the shower. Thankfully that is where the tackiness has started & ended. The rest of the shower will be amazing and beautiful. I can suck it up if that is the one faux paux

I say voice your concern and if your hostess insists, let it go.

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