Question about "pick up/put down" method

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

We're going to attempt to get DD sleeping in her crib again this weekend. We have tried twice before, and for various reasons she ended up back in her swing where she sleeps 9000 times better. I mean, 10 - 11 hours straight. But she's getting too big, trying to lean forward to play with her feet, twisting her torso around, etc. And hey...3rd time's a charm right??

In the hopes of reducing my anxiety about it I want to go into this with a plan, so I just wanted to clarify something. If you do "pick up/put down" (pick them up when they're crying, soothe until calm, put back down and leave the room, repeat until they fall asleep on their own), what do you do if LO starts crying and acting up again before you even get out of the room? I tried this a lot during attempt #2 and I swear, sometimes she would start crying the instant she felt me lowering her body into the crib. My arms weren't even out of the crib and she was crying again. Do I leave anyway and give her a few minutes? Or do I have to wait until I can put her down and she stays calm for a second before I leave the room?

Check and console (without touching or with just a light touch, pat, etc.) is not an option. She gets SUPER pissed if she sees me and I don't pick her up. She's a drama queen. So I either pick her up, or leave her to CIO, which I'm just not comfortable with.

I hope I'm overthinking all of this and I will just put her in the crib, she'll fuss for awhile and go right to sleep. A girl can dream.

pumpkinhead4 · February 2013

My LO does better with no pick up sometimes. I think it does make her more mad. I recently started using a crib aquarium thing and she seems to like that. it sort of distracts her and gives her something to look at and listen to. i have been working on sleep training almost a month now and LO is down to a few min, like 2-3 of crying before she falls asleep. i just think it's her way of winding down. Have you tried weaning off the swing slowly? Like putting her in it without it moving for a few nights, etc? Just a thought.

Flamingemu · February 2013

The actual PUPD method is to turn around and pick her back up. If she starts wailing as you are lowering her, put her all the way down, hands off, then pick back up. That is what the book says.

That being said, I do not have the patience for PUPD. I tried it for naps 5 different times and gave up after the first failed nap attempt. I PUPD my damn kid over 40 times and could not get her to nap when I knew she was tired. I soothed her in my arms and she was out like a light. We had a lot of napping issues early on.

I finally had her at least napping in her crib for short periods by mimicking her nighttime routine. Sadly, it took her DCP to get her to nap for more than 30 minutes. She had L on a 2 long nap a day schedule in a week and a half. I felt like such a failure, but she has been taking care of children for 20 years.

Good luck with everything. Stay strong momma.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

She's been in the swing without movement for over a week now, so I am trying to do it gradually. And her swing is right next to her crib, so she's been sleeping in her own room for months. So that won't be an issue.

I would pick her up when crying, walk around and bounce a little until she settled down. Sometimes that took 5 seconds, sometimes 20 minutes. I started by putting her down when sound asleep, but that was our main problem.

After 2 weeks she was crying every 45 - 60 minutes all night long - because she would wake up and not be able to put herself back to sleep. She was exhausted, but needed to be in my arms to fall asleep. This is what I was hoping to avoid by going straight to putting down drowsy.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

Emu - I fully envision me PUPD-ing at least a hundred times the first few nights. I'm not even kidding. I hope I will have the patience for it, but I don't see any other option except CIO.

Daycare has been working on crib naps for a few weeks and she will nap there for 20 - 40 minutes. She has never been a great napper and usually doesn't sleep longer than an hour even in the swing, so for now I guess that's the best we're going to get.

elizabethwig · February 2013

Flamingemu:
The actual PUPD method is to turn around and pick her back up. If she starts wailing as you are lowering her, put her all the way down, hands off, then pick back up. That is what the book says.
That being said, I do not have the patience for PUPD. I tried it for naps 5 different times and gave up after the first failed nap attempt. I PUPD my damn kid over 40 times and could not get her to nap when I knew she was tired. I soothed her in my arms and she was out like a light. We had a lot of napping issues early on.
I finally had her at least napping in her crib for short periods by mimicking her nighttime routine. Sadly, it took her DCP to get her to nap for more than 30 minutes. She had L on a 2 long nap a day schedule in a week and a half. I felt like such a failure, but she has been taking care of children for 20 years.
Good luck with everything. Stay strong momma.

Do you know what your DCP does/did to get the longer naps? I swear, this kid has an internal alarm for naps: 30-32 minutes every.damn.time

ETA: no advice on pu/PD. We tried it a bunch and it hasn't really worked. We still pick her up if she won't calm, but it still takes us a solid hour most nights to get her to sleep and this is probably the fourth week of trying to get her to fall asleep on her own. Hopefully you have better luck than us. Maybe we're doing it wrong.

britt1217 · February 2013

LO was use to sleeping in the napper of the PNP which is slightly elevated. When we transitioned her to the crib I put a rolled up towel underneath her mattress closer to the top so it was slightly elevated. She slept great. I just started taking the towel out and she's still sleeping good. I'm not sure if it actually made a difference but I'm trying it with future kids....lol. Maybe she's so use to the tilt of the swing. Does your swing have an option to tilt back further? Ours has two settings, sitting up or laying down. LO only use the lay down setting when she was really little. But maybe if yours tilts down use that as a transition. Good luck:)

Flamingemu · February 2013

elizabethwig:
Flamingemu:
The actual PUPD method is to turn around and pick her back up. If she starts wailing as you are lowering her, put her all the way down, hands off, then pick back up. That is what the book says.
That being said, I do not have the patience for PUPD. I tried it for naps 5 different times and gave up after the first failed nap attempt. I PUPD my damn kid over 40 times and could not get her to nap when I knew she was tired. I soothed her in my arms and she was out like a light. We had a lot of napping issues early on.
I finally had her at least napping in her crib for short periods by mimicking her nighttime routine. Sadly, it took her DCP to get her to nap for more than 30 minutes. She had L on a 2 long nap a day schedule in a week and a half. I felt like such a failure, but she has been taking care of children for 20 years.
Good luck with everything. Stay strong momma.
Do you know what your DCP does/did to get the longer naps? I swear, this kid has an internal alarm for naps: 30-32 minutes every.damn.time
ETA: no advice on pu/PD. We tried it a bunch and it hasn't really worked. We still pick her up if she won't calm, but it still takes us a solid hour most nights to get her to sleep and this is probably the fourth week of trying to get her to fall asleep on her own. Hopefully you have better luck than us. Maybe we're doing it wrong.

Honestly, not really. She said she did not pick her up when she started crying and offered her a pacifier and a pat on the head instead. But any more specific than that, I don't know.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

britt1217:
LO was use to sleeping in the napper of the PNP which is slightly elevated. When we transitioned her to the crib I put a rolled up towel underneath her mattress closer to the top so it was slightly elevated. She slept great. I just started taking the towel out and she's still sleeping good. I'm not sure if it actually made a difference but I'm trying it with future kids....lol. Maybe she's so use to the tilt of the swing. Does your swing have an option to tilt back further? Ours has two settings, sitting up or laying down. LO only use the lay down setting when she was really little. But maybe if yours tilts down use that as a transition. Good luck:)

We do plan to elevate the crib mattress the same way. She also has reflux -although it's under control with her meds, I don't want to take any chances of it bothering her when she's laying flat.

I think it's more the confined, snuggled-in feeling of the swing that she likes. I posted about this when we've tried the crib before and people have recommended rolled up towels under the crib sheet to mimic the feel of the swing, but it's just to much of a SIDS risk for me. She moves and wiggles around a lot, she's rolling over (so she can't be swaddled), etc. Maybe if she were still a tiny baby in a swaddle and couldn't move around too much, I would consider it.

Bottom line...I think I'm doing as much as I can. The rest is up to her, so we'll see how it goes! Thanks for all the advice!

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