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Multiples
I can't believe I'm here...
Hello Multiples board. This is more of a vent than an intro so excuse me.
First u/s everything looks great and it went well. Up until the point where the tech told us there were two heartbeats. Total shock, twins don't run in my family. The thought of more than one baby never crossed my mind.
I know this is a blessing, But I don't feel that way completely. My anxiety kicked my as$ when I found out there were two. I'm just freaking out right now. The u/s was right before DH went to work, so I have to wait until he gets home to talk about our feelings and thoughts on this. He seemed happy, mostly shocked. Our original plan was to be one and done so this is like holy crap.
I do want to keep them both. I just have no clue about raising two babies at once. Well, as a FTM I have no clue about raising one baby. But these fears are probably normal for both twin moms and FTM.
What doesn't help is the reaction to twins on this site. I see people hoping for twins, those expecting them seem all excited. I'm question if my feelings are normal now.
I hope this board will help and inform me. And I'll try my best to be just as helpful and supportive back.
October 2013 March Siggy Challenge: Favorite Easter Candy
TTC Nov 2012|BFP 1/27/13|EDD 10/9/13|1st u/s 2/20/13
Team Green x2 - Can't wait for our twosome to arrive
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I can't believe I'm here...
Honestly, your motherly instinct will kick in. We have a 3 year old and almost 2 year old and twins on the way. We originally wanted one more and were shocked to find out we were having twins. What youre feeling is completely normal. Take a deep breath and give it a couple of weeks for the inital shock to fully set in and get ready for the wonderful ride of pregnancy.
You will be a GREAT mom. Try not to stress about it too much. Dont worry about doing everything right or knowing what to do.
I bawled my eyes out the first couple days because I knew that things were going to change for us drastically and the thought of not being able to experience a non complicated pregnancy or not being able to have that special bond with each child individually, really took a toll on me.
After a few weeks and some much needed reassurance from friends and family and the MoMs here, I can't help but feel like the luckiest person on earth! Very few people in life get this opportunity, and god chose me!
Thank you all for your quick replies!
I guess I just needed some perspective from those who have been through it. I really want to be excited and not have a negative reaction. I know the motherly instinct while kick in eventually, I've always been a worrier. I wish the instinct would kick in right after taking the test. Lol.
October 2013 March Siggy Challenge: Favorite Easter Candy
TTC Nov 2012|BFP 1/27/13|EDD 10/9/13|1st u/s 2/20/13
Team Green x2 - Can't wait for our twosome to arrive
Your feelings are not unusal! I cried when we found out it was twins. All the nurses were coming in the room to congratulate me and there I was crying! My husband was so excited though. Twins don't run in my family (although I now know mine are identical, which has nothing to do with heredity anyway), so the thought of twins never even crossed my mind. I always say I planned every detail of that pregnancy, except the part about having 2 babies!
You will get used to the idea and you will be excited too. It's a lot to think about. Twins are hard and I still say I'd rather have the same 2 kids, just 4 year apart, but it is pretty special!
I was almost entirely just anxious and frustrated the first couple of months... I didn't even think I was going to end up with one after a year of wacky cycles - let alone two. I'm not among the MoMs who have substantial financial security... we're a working class family and we support our family of now six on about $60K (with both of us working full time.....) - so we were not prepared for the BOGO contract we'd just been hit with...
No matter how exciting or fun some aspects of having twins felt over time, that anxiety hasn't gone away. I was overjoyed when I found out that BOTH of our babies were boys - with two girls at home, that was about the best news I could have had.
It does get better, you will gradually find that the good things begin to outweigh the bad things. But don't feel guilty if you are more stressed than you are excited.
Right ovary removed 09.04.2012 via vertical laparotomy
Essure implant placed on remaining tube 06.13.2013; successful followup scan 09.30.2013
I am now 18.5 ekes pregnant and I can honostly say their are still many moments of fear throught my days however with ever day I am more able to sit in the enjoyment of having twins and less in the fear.
I'm sure you will have many moments if both however the best advise I can give you is to talk with those around you about your fear, it really helps. Also, remember to breath. People keep telling me because I know no different being that these are our first, it will he exhausting but easier once they are old enough to play with each other, giving you a break.
Your feelings are completely normal. When we found out we were pregnant it was a surprise, nevermind finding out we were expecting twins. We already have a 23 month old son, and were only planning on have TWO. When the ultrasound tech told us there were two, I immediately started crying. I was so upset. I was seriously depressed for weeks and cried off/on daily. My DH was shocked but was very supportive and was able to adjust to the news a lot better than I. We're now nearly 27weeks pregnant, and I still have my days of "how the hell am I going to do this?" But I have definitely gotten used to it. It's a big adjustment for anyone and it's not an easy pill to swallow but don't feel guilty about your feelings. This is why we are pregnant for 9 months...so we can adjust physically and mentally! Good Luck and Congrats!
I wasn't especially happy to see two heartbeats. I was so uncertain about my ability to parent one - let alone two!
I remained pretty apprehensive the whole pregnancy, enough so that I got some therapy to help me deal with the emotions.
Now my boys are here, and I love them, very, very much. But truthfully, its been a gradual process. You will love your little ones, but be kind to yourself as you adapt to this new life.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
Reading this reminded me so much of my mental state when we found out we were having twins at 20 weeks. I cried during the ultrasound, and they were not happy tears. I felt bad for feeling that way, but I did not see twins as a blessing for at least a couple weeks. I was overwhelmed, and kept thinking of how everything I'd planned on now had to change and I didn't know how to handle it. My husband was ecstatic, and I was just a complete mess. I used to wake up in the middle of the night, go into the bathroom, and cry. I didn't want two babies and I hated feeling that way.
The women on this board were so supportive, and told me what I was feeling is normal (and it is). They told me to give myself time, and I would start connecting with the twin pregnancy and would eventually feel excited about it. I did feel better within a couple weeks, but I really got excited around 28 weeks after my baby shower. Suddenly I could picture two perfect little boys in my arms and nothing made me happier.
Give yourself time and be so patient with yourself. Twin pregnancies are tough, and raising twin newborns, infants, and beyond is even tougher, but it is absolutely amazing. I am so in love with my babies. I read a beautiful quote on here once that I think of often: "If you think our hands are full, imagine our hearts." It's so true.
Congratulations on your twins!
First, congratulations! Second, your feelings seem totally normal to me. I go back and forth all the time between being excited to being terrified. I knew we had an increased risk, but my RE had assured me it wasn't too much of an increase. Still, when he said he saw 2, I was pretty scared. My poor husband had to sit down because he felt like he was going to pass out. We were both shaking and in a total daze leaving that day.
We have a son already and still have no clue how we're going to do this. But as time continues to pass and I have more time with the news, I get more and more excited. But those feelings of anxiety still slap me in the face sometimes!
This board has been great for me already, the ladies here are wonderful.
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
It took me quite some time to get on board with the idea. We had more or less decided that we only wanted one child, so to hear that it was twins took that decision out of our hands. I'm also very practical, so all I could think about was logistics - we have a 2 bedroom condo, where would they fit? How would we pay for two (diapers, daycare, etc.)? We had minimal experience with kids, how would we handle two at once? I also felt like I was missing out on experiencing a "normal" pregnancy and getting to spoil one child. I was SO upset. H, on the other hand, was over the moon and thought it was the best thing ever.
When they started kicking I really had my perspective change. I'll be honest, the pregnancy was not fun and the first 3 months were REALLY hard, but now I think that twins are the best thing ever and actually think that it's easier for us with our twins then it is for my sister and BIL and their singleton (who's 5 months older then mine). The girls play together and entertain each other, so when we're all home as long as they know where I am they're happy to play and I can cook or clean. They're so much fun and to watch them interact and play is just amazing. Every second on bed rest and every exhausted minute of those first few months was well worth it.
Don't feel bad about being disappointed, there is no right way to react. But I promise, it's worth it