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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
jw87
member
S/O -How to wean LO off of need for CONSTANT attention?
jw87
member
So I just responded to this post... BEFORE reading all the comments the original poster received and I'm so taken back!
It is really so EVIL to leave your child for 10-15 minutes crying?
If it is, then I'm a guiltily... because I have TWO kids... and while I was giving one a bath, my newborn started to cry, I can't leave the other unattended in the tub, I had to finish and dress him before picking up my other child.
Just something to think about.
Priority... you will learn that someday if you decide to have two kids.
My newborn was not hurt, and as long as his/her needs are met and you need to get something done (like not burning dinner) I hope you don't feel guilty.
I'm not a CIO gal, and it didn't sound like that in the other post... I just think people are too ready to jump all over somebody.
Being a Mama is hard enough, people don't need to read all that bs and feel guilty.
Not to mention what about the Mom who's about to pull her hair out and lets her baby cry for 5 minutes while she takes a breather? Is she a bad Mama? Hell no, she's a good Mom! That is what you're suppose to do!
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Re: S/O -How to wean LO off of need for CONSTANT attention?
10-15 minutes is a long time for a 3 month old to sob. Getting your baby out of the bath and into some clothes probalby doesn't take even ten minutes.
A five minute breather to not shake your infant and 10-15 minutes to do the dishes while your baby screams are TOTALLY different things.
Sorry, but in my book, "good mom" isn't leaving your newborn to cry for 15 minutes. There is nothing that you could be doing that you can't pause to get to your kid in less time than that.
Even though I don't have a toddler, I agree with this. It's kind of a no brainer....
The problem was deliberately leaving a 3mo old unattended and bawling just to wean said LO from needing attention.
Again, isolated incidents? Hard to swallow for most moms, but understandable and fine.
Deliberately leaving crying baby for excess periods of a time daily? NOT okay.
I hope I don't have to respond to another one of these posts again today, tomorrow, or ever. But I will if necessary.
Ditto to all of this.
Hi, OP here, I decided to come back and peak. Not sure if I?m glad I did seeing I set off a firestorm. I can certainly see how my original post may have been misconstrued - and I wrote it in a rush, literally with LO sitting in front of me, in his bouncy seat, staring at me and whining. I was rushing so I could pick him up! I felt DESPERATE for help so I quickly wrote something and threw it up here. Big mistake.
Yes, I took the time to reword the post to clarify my question/concerns on the Working Moms Board when I finally had a chance (after DH got home and was tending to LO) b/c the ladies there seem to be much more civil/helpful and they were not jumping all over me. Contrary to the accusations, I am not at all annoyed with my child and I will repeat once again, that if I were an SAHM or if I lived in Canada where I got an entire year off maternity leave I would be so thrilled to meet all of LO?s demands.
But the entire point of my post was that I have to return to work. I am extremely worried about how another caretaker will respond to his colicky behavior and I do not want him to suffer as a result so I want to somehow ease this transition.
And b/c I love him and worry about him, is why I asked for help/advice. If I didn't care I wouldn't bother.
Instead I got attacked.
As a PP noted, the ladies on this board seem to get heated very quickly which is why I said I would (and I made the mistake of coming back!) stay off this board. For the record, I do not leave him to cry it out on a daily basis AT ALL...it was a one time thing. Believe it or not I even mentioned it to my pediatrician and he did not seem concerned at all.
But he also didn?t offer any good advice either which is why I figured turning to other moms would be more helpful. (Guess I?m proven wrong).
It?s clear that having a 3-6 month old baby causes psychosis among us moms eh? (I?m JOKING BTW - just wanna make that absolutely clear seeing how things are clearly misconstrued on the net! LOL!!!!)
OK. That?s totally it from me ladies. Carry on. I?ll stick with the moms on the ?Working Moms? board!
...There's a difference between letting the baby cry for 5 minutes because you are caring for your other child, and letting your not even 3 month old (only) child cry because you want to "wean" them off of you. There's also a difference between putting the baby in a safe place to take a 5 minute breather and just leaving your baby alone for 10-15 minutes to "teach them how to be without you."
Learn the difference in these things.
Also, the whole "just you wait" attitude that some STMs have is so annoying. Get over yourself.
My babies have been self soothers from the beginning. Somehow I have extremely calm, happy twins. Mine have never cried for more than a minute since birth except for their shots. However, I completely understand why another mom who is about to go back to work would look for tips from other moms on how to get her child to self sooth and not rely on 24/7 holding since that won't be an option anymore.
I personally think the responses were way too harsh to the OP.
This is where I stopped reading, because it was obviously more important to write a freaking post than to pick up your "super needy" child...
IDK ya'll I've got two super whiney and emotionally needy girls. I love them to pieces, but usually at least one of them is throwing a fit. The only way around it is to play on the nursery floor with BOTH of them in my lap. Seeing as how that isn't realistic, they cry. A lot. So I get it. Sometimes being a mom really sucks. And sometimes you suck it up for the love of your children.
It's also unrealistic to think that laying out your parenting skills before the internet won't create some sort of backlash - too many differences of opinion.
HAHA right!? Sorry, but you are NOT helping yourself.
First of all, OP did not say she was letting him scream for 10 minutes. It sounded like she wanted to see if he could or would settle himself on his own.
With my first DD, I was off for 4 months. Around month 3 I realized I held her for all of her naps! I trusted the babysitter I was taking her to, but realized it was unrealistic for me to ask someone else to hold her for hours and hours a day when she had other children to look after. So, in preparation for my return to work, I tried to "wean" her off being held during naps and had her sleep in her crib. IMO, all she was asking was how to help transition her daughter from home to daycare. I don't think there was anything wrong with that!