Late Term and Child Loss
dreprogal
member
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my little angel
dreprogal
member
i've been pretty sad lately. last year i lost a baby. It was a girl which i was hoping for. I couldn't for the life of me ever think of boy names that i liked. Our first ultra-sound was 20 weeks. I was lying there and the nurse said she would be back in a minute, i didn't start to worry until she said that an on call doctor was on the way to talk to us about the ultra sound. She said that the baby had fluid around her and a tumorous lump, and that our baby was dying. We had to make a choice to abort it or go full term to say goodbye, but it would die a couple hours after birth. My boyfriend started crying as soon as we left the room. I waited until i got outside of the hospital. I hate when people feel bad for me. I barely told anybody i was pregnant because i was scared something bad would happen. My mom has miscarried a few times. I cried for two days straight until my next ultra sound, only to find out that my baby had died. I went in that night to be admitted to the hospital. they induced my labor and i delivered my lifeless baby two days later. At least when you have a baby and it lives all the pain is worth it. but there is no greater pain than holding someone that you put so much love into and knowing you couldn't have it. later the doctors told me that i had negative blood and the babys was positive so my body attacked the baby which is what killed her. that is what hurts the most. knowing that my body killed my baby. i think it could have been prevented. i dont really know who to talk to, i feel better just getting it out there. I feel like nobody understands what i went through...
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Re: my little angel
My daughter was also given a terminal diagnosis some of which included hydrops too. Please know that you aren't alone and we are always here for you. I have found writing to be really helpful as I try to live with my new normal. I have written several letters to my daughter to explain to her what happened. I also have gone to a therapist and attended a couple of support groups.
Please feel free to private message me anytime. This board is amazing but there are also some boards on Baby Center that deal specifically with terminal diagnosis which I also have found helpful. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I totally agree being on this board helps with coping. I am so very sorry for your loss I lost a daughter as well. ((HUGS))