ARGH!

unaveragejane · February 2013

I am just so fricking tired of trying (and failing) to entertain DS. So SO SO tired! I could absolutely scream! So far everything I have tried to do with him today has worked for 10 minutes or less before his is whining again. I am frankly quite over it. He just got up from a nap about an hour ago, his belly is full, his diaper is dry. I tried playing in the floor with him with a dozen books, toys, teethers, etc. Nothing is working. I finally gave up and gave him to DH. I think I'm going upstairs to cry.

Babybear70 · February 2013

Awww...it is okay. Take time and collect yourself if you are frustrated. Happy Mamas = happy babies. I know that my DS feeds off of my frustration so I try really hard not to get too close to the edge, but sometimes it just happens. It might not be because nothing is working, it might just be because his mouth hurts or his bones hurt from growing. Sometimes they just cry to cry because they have to tell you all about it, and that is the only way they know how. Maybe try taking him outside. Sometimes fresh air, even fresh cold air (I'm in michigan) will put DS in a different frame of mind. Good luck hun and don't give up!

cheshirekrazykat · February 2013

Why can't he play on the floor by himself ? You are creating a needy baby .

thatoneredhead · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
Why can't he play on the floor by himself ? You are creating a needy baby .

Babies are needy regardless...

Im sorry! That is frustrating. Im loving this stage because it's fun but this whole independence thing is kicking my butt too. I have been really on top of his crying and meeting his needs, but right now it's hard. He screams bloody murder over everything (he's sick and teething x2). I just do what I can. It's all I can do.

edit: For clarification, now that he's a little independent, he seems to need alot more, if that makes sense? I have to always help him or he isnt happy unless he is having fun because now he can do it

Sigir · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
Why can't he play on the floor by himself ? You are creating a needy baby .nbsp;

I think this is a little blunt but I agree w it's sentiment and think this is a common situation w ftms. You think it's your job to keep them entertained 24 7. Second time around you don't have time for that at all, and baby is usually happier than number one was!

I never try to keep dd entertained... She is toted along w us wherever we go and usually very interested in everything. Maybe you just need to get out of the house more and start doing more stuff for YOU that is not baby focused. Go to the mall to window shop and baby will love to look at everything. Go get your nails or hair done at an off time and let all the workers ooh and ah over your lo and keep him occupied. We had a blast at the library Saturday... Have you taken lo there yet?

Reading your op, it seems like you might be a little too lo focused and it's driving you crazy... And maybe him too! Do something for yourself you will feel better.

unaveragejane · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
Why can't he play on the floor by himself ? You are creating a needy baby .

Wow, thanks. Next time I need some f8cktastic non-advice from someone who hands out b!tchy opinions at no charge, I will remember who to come to.

cheshirekrazykat · February 2013

Sorry you can't handle the truth .

pghmortdoll · February 2013

DS is like this when he is overtired or teething. It is rough!

Hang in there and take a break/time for yourself when you can. It wont last forever!

jess9802 · February 2013

I'm sorry you struggled today. Big hugs.

I too would suggest putting baby down on the floor with some toys to play independently, but if he's going through a clingy/needy phase, doesn't feel well, etc. even that may not work.

Other suggestions: window shopping at the mall, going for a walk in the stroller, hell, putting on a cartoon or TV show that captivates baby's attention for 30 minutes so you can get a little bit of a break will do you wonders.

kpearse99 · February 2013

jess9802:
I'm sorry you struggled today. Big hugs. I too would suggest putting baby down on the floor with some toys to play independently, but if he's going through a clingy/needy phase, doesn't feel well, etc. even that may not work. Other suggestions: window shopping at the mall, going for a walk in the stroller, hell, putting on a cartoon or TV show that captivates baby's attention for 30 minutes so you can get a little bit of a break will do you wonders.

I agree with all of this. I recently discovered that DS loves looking out the front door, so I've put him in his jumper and let him look outside for a bit.
I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it's not fun bit you aren't failing. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself, you don't have to entertain your lo every minute, take some time for yourself to relax while your tries something independently. Hugs!

Starbear06 · February 2013

pghmortdoll:
DS is like this when he is overtired or teething. It is rough!

Hang in there and take a break/time for yourself when you can. It wont last forever!

I agree. Usually when I start wondering what happened to my baby it's because he's going through either sickness or teething and is cranky and whiny!

snicksnack · February 2013

As a PP said he might be teething. My DS so far has gotten both his teeth during the day. He did exactually how you described then would go down for an afternoon nap and wake up with a tooth popped through. You could try some Tylenol and see if it helps or give him something cold to chew on.

JessieCupcake · February 2013

I'm sorry, Jane. That is so frustrating.

You are not failing. I think we as moms put a lot of pressure on ourselves to keep our babies entertained.

My suggestion is to get some baskets and put some of your DS's toys, teethers, and books inside. Then put the baby sitting on the floor with the baskets. Your DS will (hopefully ) stay occupied with taking things out of the baskets, playing with what he takes out, and playing with the baskets themselves.

I have two baskets I use for DS. He loves this. Keeps himself entertained and I don't always have to be on the floor playing with him. Like right now as I type this, he is playing with the basket on the floor.

Hope things get better soon.

piedpiper07 · February 2013

Sorry you are dealing with this! When DS gets restless I do a few things... Prop him in front of the window he likes the cold feeling and looking outside.... A bath with toys and splashing...a walk.
I do agree with PPs that doing something for yourself is great too! I will read to him from the game of thrones because he cant understand and then i can read my book. I held DS on my lap for a pedicure and he was interested enough to be quiet and everyone there loved him. I also go shopping or geocaching a lot. The geocaching is good for me because it is outside and you are actively doing something and DS is happy to tote along in a carrier or stroller.
Hope that gives you a few ideas! Good luck

stepper1725 · February 2013

JessieCupcake:
I'm sorry, Jane. That is so frustrating.
You are not failing. I think we as moms put a lot of pressure on ourselves to keep our babies entertained.
My suggestion is to get some baskets and put some of your DS's toys, teethers, and books inside. Then put the baby sitting on the floor with the baskets. Your DS will (hopefully ) stay occupied with taking things out of the baskets, playing with what he takes out, and playing with the baskets themselves.
I have two baskets I use for DS. He loves this. Keeps himself entertained and I don't always have to be on the floor playing with him. Like right now as I type this, he is playing with the basket on the floor.
Hope things get better soon.

This! We have a plastic container with a lid that we put on the floor for DD, we fill it with all different kinds of little toys. She will spend about 20 - 30 minutes pulling out each toy from the box. She also loves to play with the lid. If I need to do stuff in the kitchen, I'll put her on the floor in her Bumbo seat & put the box in front of her. But there are days where she is not feeling well, teething, clingy, etc that the only thing that makes her happy is holding her. On those days I just put her in the pouch and do things around the house. Or we go to the mall and walk around. She loves that. I don't think by responding to your LO's needs you are spoiling your child, but for your own sake, it might be nice to take your LO for some new scenery if you can. Good luck!

stanfordt04 · February 2013

pghmortdoll:
DS is like this when he is overtired or teething. It is rough! Hang in there and take a break/time for yourself when you can. It wont last forever!

this exactly. i have set up stations around the house to keep him moving and entertained with different toys and activites. i usually try to move him to another spot before he starts fussing. he usually last about five minutes on days he is a cranky mess from teething.

activities/stations: blanket with toys/ exersaucer/ PNP with toys/ in front of the window with toys/ on the couch with books and me/high chair with toys/ in his room on the floor with toys/ floor time with m

if he fusses at a certain place, i let him go for a few minutes. he realizes i am not running over to him and begins to play with a toy.

being a mom is a lot of work. i have days when i feel like you do no matter how organized of a system i have. you are doing a wonderful job!

stanfordt04 · February 2013

oh. and going upstairs to cry is a great idea. sometimes fifteen minutes of laying down/resting/ and having a good cry is all you need to recharge and jump back in the game. hang in there.

Meery82 · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
Sorry you can't handle the truth .

God, I am so sick of seeing judgmental, obnoxious posts on these boards, such as this. OP is trying her best to take care of her child, and it sounds to me like she's doing a pretty damn good job. Even if what you say has any truth to it, there is no reason to make nasty comments. People come here to ask for advice and hope to receive helpful answers. And while most other posters do this, there are a few snotty biitches out there who seem to want to spread their hatefulness around. Here's a piece of advice: if you feel the need to post something rude when it isn't deserved, you need to STFU and stay off the message boards. Just because we have the anonymity of the Internet does not give you the right to be an @sshole.

kpearse99 · February 2013

Meery82:
cheshirekrazykat:
Sorry you can't handle the truth . 
God, I am so sick of seeing judgmental, obnoxious posts on these boards, such as this. OP is trying her best to take care of her child, and it sounds to me like she's doing a pretty damn good job. Even if what you say has any truth to it, there is no reason to make nasty comments. People come here to ask for advice and hope to receive helpful answers. And while most other posters do this, there are a few snotty biitches out there who seem to want to spread their hatefulness around. Here's a piece of advice: if you feel the need to post something rude when it isn't deserved, you need to STFU and stay off the message boards. Just because we have the anonymity of the Internet does not give you the right to be an @sshole. 

I love you, meery!!!

cheshirekrazykat · February 2013

How am I being hateful ? She wrote she try's entertains her son and after 10 mins nothing works . She clearly never let's her son play independtly , her son will never learn how to entertain himself . Therefore creating a needy child . I am sorry I don't feel I need to sugar coat that .

jess9802 · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
How am I being hateful ? She wrote she try's entertains her son and after 10 mins nothing works . She clearly never let's her son play independtly , her son will never learn how to entertain himself . Therefore creating a needy child . I am sorry I don't feel I need to sugar coat that .

She was complaining about ONE day.

It's not about sugar coating things; it's about not acting like a snot or being a b!tch to someone who's having a rough day and letting off some steam.

unaveragejane · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
How am I being hateful ? She wrote she try's entertains her son and after 10 mins nothing works . She clearly never let's her son play independtly , her son will never learn how to entertain himself . Therefore creating a needy child . I am sorry I don't feel I need to sugar coat that .

Cheshire, I want to apologize for how I reacted to your comment the other day. I do not agree with what you said, but I should not have let my temper get the better of me. I am not sure whether you are just stirring the pot to liven up a quiet board, or if you truly thought I spend the majority of my day trying to entertain my child. Based on what I said, I can see where you might make that assumption. In any case, thank you for helping me to re-examine my own actions and words.

cheshirekrazykat · February 2013

Not trying to stir the pot or be judgy . I just see so many posts lately like how do I entertain my baby or other posts about how basically they have no life and it revolves around their baby's every breathing second . So I was just giving advice that wasn't all hippie love bullshi!

kyleeduke · February 2013

cheshirekrazykat:
Not trying to stir the pot or be judgy . I just see so many posts lately like how do I entertain my baby or other posts about how basically they have no life and it revolves around their baby's every breathing second . So I was just giving advice that wasn't all hippie love bullshi!

Wow, my child is now "my life". Sounds like your child is not a priority to you. Good luck in creating a "needy" child who feels neglected because mom never takes the time out of her busy day to interact with and meet his or her needs.

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