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December 2012 Moms
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DH & daycare *vent-ish*

kescalerakescalera member
in December 2012 Moms

So DH has always had an issue with waking up in the middle of the night (very difficult & VERY grumpy) but last night took the cake. I actually said the D-word at 3a. Screamed it really as he was yelling at LO (2 1/2 months old) for crying because he was hungry & had a wet diaper. I was stuck on the couch hooked up to the pump trying to focus & relax so I could actually get some milk out. DH stated he was yelling because LO needed to know that "Daddy doesn't put up with this kind of crap" and LO needed to be "trained" early. I told him he was being an a-hole & wasn't "training" anyone, just creating another version of himself & his own dad in 20 years (Currently not speaking with DH's parents, best 2+ years of my life!) or another child who wouldn't talk to/around him & was afraid to show any personality at our house (SS11). Woke up this morning & got LO ready for daycare, pumped, etc. without any help from DH because I was still mad at him. He woke up & knew he'd done something wrong although the details are a little fuzzy as he was half-asleep. Tried to make it up to me by taking LO to daycare.

Daycare.... ugh. Love this place, they are fabulous & amazing & so much more than we could ever hope for a daycare BUT they told DH this morning that LO needs to start sleeping in his crib in his own room & not co-sleep with us (me, really) anymore because they are trying to get him to sleep in a crib there. ISSUE #1 - LO hates sleeping on his back because he has super bad gas & it hurts his tummy & causes him to spit up & choke ISSUE #2 - LO is only 2 months old & still wakes up every 3 - 4 hours for food & a clean diaper ISSUE #3 (all me on this one) co-sleeping is really the only time I get with LO because I've been back at work since he was a month old (damn bills) & trying to keep my milk up means I'm pumping every 2 hours at home in the evenings while trying to get dinner, squeeze in a workout every now & then, dishes, laundry, etc. I'm not ready to give that up especially when he's just starting to really be able to sleep for longer periods with shorter wake-ups

*sigh* things have been great up until today. Now I just feel like I want to curl up under my desk & cry. 

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Re: DH & daycare *vent-ish*

  • minervacullenminervacullen member
    I'd have a heart to heart with DH. He's being a jerk. As far as day care and cosleeping, we cosleep at night and LO sleeps in her crib for naps. It took a week it so of persistence, but she does well. It's none of their business if you cosleep.


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  • kimskikimski member

    as for daycare setting the rules and telling you want to do with your kid. Tell them to mind their own bussiness. You're paying them for a service and therefore should do what you ask :)  But before you put the smack down make sure that's what was truely said to husband as my husband has come home before with comments of what was set at dc only to have totally misrepresented.

     

    I totally feel for you with the husband's short temper my hsband does crap like that at time and i'm like seriously the baby and our 2 yo have a reason to act the way they do they are children what's your excuse??

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  • SingleMom31SingleMom31 member
    I posted a couple days ago about my parents telling me to let her cry it out, and how sorry I'll be if I let her get the upper hand. When I think about it though, she doesn't cry unless she needs something. Yes, sometime what she needs is comfort, but it's still something. I'm not sure that SO is buying into it since he'll let her cry a minute to see whether she stops before picking her up, but at least he doesn't yell bc I'd lose it on him.

    I think it's time for a serious talk, and then for you to decide whether you're willing to raise your kids like that. Personally, I wouldn't be able to put up with yelling at an 8 week old...

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  • SingleMom31SingleMom31 member
    Oh, and tell them to mind your own business. SO is scared of cosleeping, so DD sleeps on her crib at night. But during the day, I like cuddling with her, so she'll sleep on or next to me. They're adaptive. When we first had LO sleep in her crib, it took some time... We'd put her down, she'd cry, we'd rock her back to sleep, she'd cry, etc. After a couple nights though, she stopped crying. It was actually nice to be able to put her down in there.

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  • lawjjg522lawjjg522 member
    imageSingleMom31:


    I think it's time for a serious talk, and then for you to decide whether you're willing to raise your kids like that. Personally, I wouldn't be able to put up with yelling at an 8 week old...


    This! Baby is crying for a reason. if dh is yelling at baby that's probably making the crying worse.
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  • JessAnnJJessAnnJ member
    The yelling is unacceptable. Daycare telling parents what to do is unacceptable. But, I would definitely want more information about what is going on at daycare. If my daughter was having adjustment issues I would want more information. Do you ever put her in her crib at home? If she is only put in the crib at daycare and she is having trouble maybe she would benefit from more time in there at home. One of my worries about daycare is that she can't be cuddled and comforted all day because it isn't one on one care. I'm not sure what I will do when I go to work but I want my LO to sleep in her crib but I also like to snuggle so she sleeps in her crib for most of the night but after her last night feeding she sleeps with me.

    I am EPing and I've noticed that the total amount I pump in a day is the same if I pump 6 times as it was when I pumped 8 times. Maybe you don't have to still pump every 2 hours. Major kudos to you for getting that many pumps in. I could not keep up with every three hours which is how I found out that I will pump the same amount even if I do it less frequently.

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  • ArmyWife114ArmyWife114 member

    You and DH need to have a VERY honest conversation about the fact that yelling at a baby is completely unacceptable and ridiculous.  No one yells at him when he needs to eat or go to the bathroom do they?  I didn't think so.  Now, while that may be a rather simplistic way to look at it, it puts things in perspective if you think about it.  You just need to lay down the law as this is something that is unacceptable, and he needs to adjust his behavior cause you can't expect a baby to communicate any other way than crying.

    Is it possible daycare told your DH that they were having told getting LO to sleep in the crib and he interpreted it as being told you needed to change things at home?

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  • kescalerakescalera member

    I am EPing and I've noticed that the total amount I pump in a day is the same if I pump 6 times as it was when I pumped 8 times. Maybe you don't have to still pump every 2 hours. Major kudos to you for getting that many pumps in. I could not keep up with every three hours which is how I found out that I will pump the same amount even if I do it less frequently.

    I only pump that often at home (if possible). I'm only getting in about 7 pumping sessions a day for an average total of 50 oz/day. Normally that's roughly twice what LO is eating in a day but since I'm trying to build up our freezer stock, I'd like to keep my production as high as possible. Directly nursing from the breast didn't really work for us so I'm EPing now & would like to be able to stop after a few more months while still being able to feed LO breastmilk as we introduce solid(ish) foods into his diet 

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  • AimeeL85AimeeL85 member

    imageminervacullen:
    I'd have a heart to heart with DH. He's being a jerk. As far as day care and cosleeping, we cosleep at night and LO sleeps in her crib for naps. It took a week it so of persistence, but she does well. It's none of their business if you cosleep.

    I agree with this - your DH needs a wakeup call (no pun intended) and your DC needs to butt out.

    PS - I'm all the way on the East coast but have friends in Wenatchee and have visited quite a few times, love it there!

    DS (7 years old) from FET in 2010
    DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
    TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
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