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December 2010 Moms
watermellens
member
School me on time outs - non clicky poll
watermellens
member
So we haven't done time outs with B yet - I don't think he'd understand them, BUT he definitely understands that he did something wrong when I tell him to say "I'm sorry" and he'll burst into tears (he can't say I'm sorry yet, but we'll sign it hand over hand).
A few minutes ago he wanted to feed the cats (one of his new favorite jobs) and he just fed them 2 minutes before, so I said "they have enough" and he pushed me and then bit my leg. I know he's getting tired b/c something like that wouldn't have usually sent him into a tizzy.
So....
When did you start time outs?
Do they work for you?
How do you do them?
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO?
How long do they last?
My little man at 0-1-2
Pin me baby! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: School me on time outs - non clicky poll
When did you start time outs? We've tried them many times starting at around 18 months.
Do they work for you? NO in a chair, YES in a crib
How do you do them? At first we tried to put her on the designated time-out chair and she flipped out. Screaming, arching back, throwing herself around (to the point of hitting her head, etc.). She would literally freak out for up to 45 minutes with me sitting there holding her down which benefitted no one. I finally started putting her in her crib and she calms down within minutes.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO? See above.
How long do they last? When she's in the crib it's just until she calms down, so about five minutes or so.
When did you start time outs? About 16 months old I think.
Do they work for you? Mostly/Usually.
How do you do them? He gets 1 warning to quit, then goes to a chair in the middle of the dining room. He sits on the chair for two minutes. If he gets up, the timer starts over. When he is done sitting there, I remind him what he did and what he should have done instead. Then I tell him he can get up and go play.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO? No, but I'm where I can see him. If he gets, up it starts all over.
How long do they last? 1 min per age (so 2 minutes)
Pretty much this except he sits by the couch in the corner. He sits by himself and once it is over we talk about was wrong and he has to apologize
When did you start time outs? Maybe 18 months, in the highchair, per recommendation from his pedi
Do they work for you? Yes, we rarely need them. Used immediately for touching the stove, and on the third offense (in quick time frame) for hitting, biting, throwing something to hurt
How do you do them? Sit him on this little green rug we have in the corner.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO? No way, he knows he has to stay or we start back over (only happened once). It's his time to take time out (ha ha) and regain his self control.
How long do they last? 2 min (1 min per year)
Do they work for you? Mostly yes. He knows that he is in trouble
How do you do them? I give him 1 warning, if he repeats the act then he goes to time out. We use the rug in front of the door. After it is over, I explain why he was in time out and what he could have done differently, then give him a hug. I always get down on his level instead of standing over him.
Are you there with them holding them when you're doing a TO? I don't hold him, but keep him within sight. Usually I try to make it look like i'm ignoring him.
How long do they last? 1 minute per year, so 2 minutes now
When did you start time outs? Around 15ish mos I think
Do they work for you? Yes
How do you do them? She stands in a corner with her face against the wall. Afterwards I make her say sorry and she has to tell me what she is sorry for before she can go back to playing. Then we talk about how she can be a good girl and I ask her if she would like a hug, she always does.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO? I used to stand with my back to her blocking her in the corner, never looking at her or talking to her. Now I don't have to. I just tell her what she did that was naughty and to go to time out. She knows the drill. Sometimes she puts herself in time out when she feels like she's misbehaved.
How long do they last? 2mins of standing quietly, if she tries to walk away it starts again. I don't fluck around, but she also rarely gets a time out.
When did you start time outs?
We tried around 15 months, but then stopped. We just started again.
Do they work for you? umm, I am not sure. We have only done it 2x, but she just sits there happily talking to herself. I think she would even sit longer.
How do you do them?
We have a time out rug. She sits in the hallway where I can see her but there is not much else to look at.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO?
She sits by herself.
How long do they last? 2 mins, it restarts after she gets up.
When did you start time outs?
We tried around 15 months, but then stopped. We just started again.
Do they work for you? umm, I am not sure. We have only done it 2x, but she just sits there happily talking to herself. I think she would even sit longer.
How do you do them?
We have a time out rug. She sits in the hallway where I can see her but there is not much else to look at.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO?
She sits by herself.
How long do they last? 2 mins, it restarts after she gets up.
When did you start time outs?
Started around 18 months
Do they work for you?
A good chunk of the time yes. There are sometimes where it is a lost cause (usually when a nap is needed)
How do you do them?
He sits in his chair, faced away from the TV.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO?
He's by himself.
How long do they last?
2 minutes currently, but if he gets out of his chair, the clock starts over.
I took a cue from my sister and we do "breaks," not time outs. I never thought of it this way, but my nephew's daycare has a philosophy that when kids misbehave, act out, have a fit, whatever its because they are having trouble regulating their emotions. They need a "break" from whatever is causing them stress and anxiety.
When the behavior is beginning, they ask the kids if they need a break to rest/think away from the group or activity. At first, they treat it like a punishment or time out and aren't happy, but after 2 years of this (he's almost 3), if my sister asks my nephew needs a break, he'll often say yes!! It helps the kids begin to recognize the opportunity to step away and calm down before things go over the edge.
Does it always work? Of course not. Do breaks still happen against their will? Of course. But overall, its been really successful with my nephew and the kids at his school. We've started doing it with Charlie and while he doesn't get it fully yet, hopefully he will.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
When did you start time outs? I started Time Outs a long time ago. Jackson was a hitter and a bitter so as soon as that behavior started....I started! He was maybe 14 months old.
Do they work for you? They work very well. It took a bit of time for him to understand them, but he now knows that is his consequence for inappropriate behaviors.
How do you do them? They run smoothly now. I give him one warning (ie throwing food on the floor). I tell him how I want him to act (keep food on the table or you will sit in time out). If the behavior persists, I silenty and calmly scoop him up, place him in his time out chair, and walk away. He knows he has to sit still and quiet for 2 minutes. After 2 minutes, I go over kneel down to his level, and tell him what he did that was wrong...what he should do instead...ask him to apologize to me...then we hug and he gets up.
Are you there with them (holding them) when you're doing a TO? In the begining I would stay and hold him down...or place him back down if he tried to get up. I would use my arm as a seat belt and keep repeating. Still still. Two minutes.... Now he knows the drill so its much easier.
How long do they last? 2 minutes