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Is it really this hard? Sleep/routine stuff, need advice

Toni828Toni828 member
in Multiples

My boys are 2 months and I am trying to get them used to sleeping in their room and crib.  They have been sleeping in RnP's.  All naps have been in the living room and at night time, my H takes one baby and I take the other. So one baby sleeps in his RnP with me in the bedroom and the other in his RnP in the living room with dad. 

I have found that it's taking much longer to get them to fall asleep when I put them down in their room ( like and hour). I always play some calming instrumental music that does help out. But when I finally get them to sleep, it seems like their naps are much shorter than when they sleep in the living room. I swaddle them and they have a binky (which falls out a lot and that is another story.  

On top of all this...I feel like I am in this sleep training alone as my H wants to just keep doing what is easy and what works at night and during the day I have  my mom here, and she is grandma so that seems to be a challenge for me as well as she would just assume pick them up and take them back to the living room and hold them til they go back to sleep.  Then they just end up back in the RnP in the living room.  Gosh, sometimes I feel like I have to be a drill sergeant to get my family to keep these babies in a routine.  I am frustrated. 

As for routine...I am taking the eat, play, sleep approach which does not always work for my boys since many times they will just fall asleep after they eat.  And then I have one boy who doesn't sleep near as good as the other.  I want to keep them on the same schedule (one up/both up) but that seems frustrating when the baby who doesn't sleep well barely falls asleep and now it is time to wake up and eat.  Maybe I am just expecting too much this early on. ANY ADVICE/TIPS,ETC IS GREATLY APPRECIATE.

Thanks!

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Re: Is it really this hard? Sleep/routine stuff, need advice

  • shaunah816shaunah816 member

    I saw a huge difference with my boys closer to three months, so hang in there! I transitioned them in their RNPs to their nursery around 10 weeks, I think it was, for nighttime, and it took a few days to find our rhythm but it got easier. They still mostly nap in the living room at 4.5 months, so I'm working on that next...we'll get there :) 

    We used a light up mobile at first, and that seemed to help soothe them to sleep in the early nursery transition days. Now they don't need it at all, but that comes with time.

    I also found that one up/both up doesn't work as well for us during the day. I try to put them down for naps at the same time, but one always naps longer than the other, and I refuse to wake the other baby for the sake of "keeping them on schedule." You have to do what works for you. We do one up/both up at night, however, and it's a lifesaver. I don't mind them on different schedules during the day if they're on the same one at night. 

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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member

    When we transitioned to their room (around 6 weeks) we did it by putting the RNPs in their nursery.  We let them get used to sleeping in their own room, then we switched them to their cribs.

    To get H or my mom or my MIL on board with things, is reasoning didn't work I would go with "I asked the doctor and they said (whatever it is I wanted to do)".  That seemed to work.  Crying, which was very easy to do those first few months, also had a good effect on H when it came to getting him to cave Wink

    Eat, play, sleep didn't work for us because they would also fall asleep after eating.  Just try doing play, eat, sleep.  I read Healthy Sleep Habits and did a lot of research into sleep training and habits online, but I was - and still am - very go with the flow with the girls.  I did keep them on the same schedule during the day (I would wake the other one up if she wasn't awake within a half hour of the first one), but around 3 months they started spacing out their feedings more and waking up twice a night instead of 3 times.  Then we just each took a baby, and if DD1 woke up it was my turn, if DD2 woke up it was H's turn (and we would switch the next night).  Now they don't have a specific nap time - when they're tired we put them down and some days they have two naps, other days they only have one.  I would also say that sleep is extremely important, so if your poor sleeper has just fallen asleep I personally wouldn't wake him up just because "it's time".

    I'll be honest - I hated the first 2-3 months and cried most days.  I was exhausted and felt like I would never get to sleep again.  I felt like my life was one big feed/change/pump cycle and like I wasn't getting to enjoy them.  But now I can honestly say that having twins is the best thing ever.  To see them play and enjoy each other (and pull hair and steal toys, lol) is just such a joy.  Life got MUCH better at 3 months when they went to only waking up twice a night, then even better at 4 months when they only woke up once a night, and I was downright giddy when we weaned from the middle of the night bottle at 9.5 months.  We still have some sleep issues but it's nothing like those early days.

    Good luck!

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  • HokieLawHokieLaw member

    The first couple months were really hard for us.  Give it time.  We didn't transition our girls to their own bedroom until they were 9 months old.  If I had it to do over, I would have started them in there.

    We had co-sleepers beside the bed where the girls would sleep at night.  After we put them in their room they became great sleepers (and now sleep 12 hours every night).  

    Anyway, eat, play, sleep doesn't work for all babies.  Just work with your schedule some and see what works for them.   


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  • ougrad1ougrad1 member
    I had good results by putting the babies in their vibrating chairs and putting the chairs into the crib.  If they aren't turning over yet, you may want to start with naps.  Every time I attempted a change with sleep, it always seemed to work better during the day at first.
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  • mirnbmirnb member
    Sorry you are going through such a hard time but I will share my experience....I like you was frustrated that people (DH, Mom)) were not sticking to my routine in the early months but to be honest if I could do it over I wouldn't worry so much about the routine for the first 3 months....they just need to eat and sleep when they want to where they want to so you can get some rest too! Once they get to the point that they can catch on to the routine (I found around 3 months) then I stuck to it and by 4 months I had babies sleeping through the night and napping 2 hours 2x a day at least. There will be a point where a switch just goes off for them and suddenly getting them on a routine gets much easier...before then just do what works to get some rest......we transitioned from RnPs at 3months too to cribs and they didn't mind at all!
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  • Toni828Toni828 member

    imagemirnb:
    Sorry you are going through such a hard time but I will share my experience....I like you was frustrated that people (DH, Mom)) were not sticking to my routine in the early months but to be honest if I could do it over I wouldn't worry so much about the routine for the first 3 months....they just need to eat and sleep when they want to where they want to so you can get some rest too! Once they get to the point that they can catch on to the routine (I found around 3 months) then I stuck to it and by 4 months I had babies sleeping through the night and napping 2 hours 2x a day at least. There will be a point where a switch just goes off for them and suddenly getting them on a routine gets much easier...before then just do what works to get some rest......we transitioned from RnPs at 3months too to cribs and they didn't mind at all!

     

    Cool! Thanks for that advice about 3 months, etc.  After yesterday I started thinking this same thing.  These babies just do what they want right now and just when I think I have something figured out, it changes the next day.  

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