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ASD/PDD-NOS moms

RickeyandDaniRickeyandDani member
in Special Needs

DS was diagnosed with PDD-NOS 6 months ago. The ABA services have done amazing wonders for him. He is high-functioning/mild. A lot of people say "You ccan't even tell." And as nice as that is, I want to pull my hair out. Yes, he is social on HIS terms. I'm just frustrated because I don't know what is normal behavior and what is his diagnosis. DH and I both work full time and DS is at a great daycare. He seems extremely over-sensitive and does HORRIBLE with transitions, especially if someone else is doing it. (ie DH tries to take DS to bed) DS seems extremely distressed unless I do it. I don't know I just had a rough day, I guess this is more of a vent. Friends and family minimalize his diagnosis because he is social and speaks pretty well. DS just turned 3. Was also wondering if anyone's LO ended up not having the diagnosis after time. They say that, but I wonder how often that really happens.

TIA


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Re: ASD/PDD-NOS moms

  • MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member
    image-auntie-:

    I find a lot of family members and friends minimize things as a way to demonstrate their affection, solidarity and ignorance.

    DS got his Aspergers dx at almost 7- so we'll say pretty subtle. At your son's age, he just seemed really bright and verbal. ASDs bring a delay in social and emotional maturity expressed as a precentage delay. For PDD-nos, it's about 1/2 chronological age on average. The older the child gets, the greater the difference between him and his peers.

    This. We've lived this transition. Same thing- pdd-nos at almost 3 years. No one really believed us. He was at a typical daycare and seemed to do fine. Had "friends", teachers loved him. Was a total ham that everyone thought was adorable. The problem is that no one expects a 3 year old to be "mature"- i.e. if he melts down over transitions, it's expected. If he doesn't have a back and forth conversation with a kid or adult, it's no big deal because he's just a preschooler, right? DS is an only child so I have/had no barometer to tell what's considered typical. By the time he turned 4 I could start to see the subtle turn into more obvious. Like when the kids where all taking turns playing a game like duck-duck-gray duck they would do so happily, choosing their favorite friends, following rules. DS would need constant coaching to stay in line and to follow the rules of the game. Or when kids would come over for a playdate, they would want to play board games and DS would just want to play with sprinklers or other non-toy items. Little boys at 4, I learned, can make up complex Spiderman plots and scenarios and play them out, actively engaging with other little boys. DS can't at all- he tries, and sometimes it can be construed as "playing" but he's more into "I'm gonna chase you, you bad guy!" That's about the extent of his "play" skills.

    My parents gradually came around as DS has gotten older. It's plain to see he's quite verbal, communicative, caring, loving, etc- but he's immature and doesn't have the bandwidth to have a really good back and forth conversation that doesn't revolve around something that interests him.

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  • malcivarmalcivar member

    {{hugs}}

    Sometimes family, in a misguided effort to make you (and themselves) feel better, will minimalize what's going on with our kids and it's not until they get older and the differences become more noticeable that their attitudes change.  My parents are slowly coming around as Chris's differences really make themselves apparent.  As awful as it sounds it's a little easier for us because Chris has speech issues.  He can speak to some extent but it's mostly scripted requests and the rest is just narrations of "Super Why".  There's less of "oh he's just 3" and more of the "why does he do that? .... oh"

    I'm sorry.  I can't offer any real advice other than just hang in there.  {{hugs}}

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  • d.fd.f member

    My DS has a PDD-NOS Dx..  I heard the line,from his Dev pedi and the psych who diagnosed him, about a small percentage of kids losing their diagnosis too.  I've also had family and friends minimize it.  

    Not that he's in any danger of it at this point, but when it comes down to it I don't want my son to lose his diagnosis.  I don't think making enough progress to not officially meet the criteria will make him any less autistic.  He maybe able to handle certain things better and that will be wonderful but I don't think he's ever going to completely fit easily into the typical box.  The Dx helps get what he needs.

    DS 09/2008

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  • RickeyandDaniRickeyandDani member
    Thank you soon much ladies!! This has helped me out more then you can imagine. I am so glad I posted in here!! I will try to post more often.

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