Is it just me or is this tacky?

tig594 · February 2013

Hi all.

My big shower was this past Sunday and it was pretty awesome. There were a couple things I may not have agreed with had I been asked (ex. books vs cards) but overall it was a huge success.

One thing I felt odd about was my hostesses asking the guests to write their addresses on the thank you card envelopes. Just seemed a little impersonal to me. Hell, while you're at it why don't you just have them fill the card out, too? Big Smile They bought all the thank you cards which was nice but I have already purchased my own set of thank you cards.

I've never really had a party in my honor before so I don't know if this is customary or am I right in feeling a little akward?

TIA!

mcooper014 · February 2013

Yes that is tacky. I would be mortified if my guests were asked to do that, makes the mom to be look lazy. They went out of their way to come to a shower and buy a gift, and then they were asked to practically write their own thank you cards!

EastCoastBride · February 2013

I've been to showers that have done this and in the moment, I really don't care all that much. I do see it as the host just trying to help the MTB out.

But, as I say that, I 've always HATED actually getting the card in the mail. There is something about getting mail in MY handwriting that sucks. It doesn't feel "real".

PunkyBooster · February 2013

I would just use the hostess's self-addressed TY envelope and card and use your stuff (and your handwritten envelope) for everyone else

I have had to do this a few times at showers and was always so confused weeks later when I'd get an envelope addressed to me in my own handwriting in the mail.

526SadieSadie · February 2013

I'd personally be more irritated by the book i/o card thing but it's kinda tacky to have people address their own envelopes.

It saves you enough time to write a really really thoughtful TY note.

tig594 · February 2013

How funny is that? I also wouldn't mind doing it for someone else's shower but not my own. My friends and family are pretty relaxed but I still would have prefered that it was not asked of them.

Max'smom · February 2013

EastCoastBride:
I've been to showers that have done this and in the moment, I really don't care all that much. I do see it as the host just trying to help the MTB out.
But, as I say that, I 've always HATED actually getting the card in the mail. There is something about getting mail in MY handwriting that sucks. It doesn't feel "real".

My thoughts exactly. I would not really care if this was done at a shower I attended. Not the same but my dentist does their reminders this way and it is always odd to get a card in your hand writing.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

Awww...don't worry about it-- it's done.

Yes, it is a little bit tacky, but I am sure most people will assume it was not your idea.

At my bridal shower, my mom presented me with a basket full of pre- addressed thank you cards during the gift opening. She had filled out the envelopes herself, so it was a little bit different, but I was mortified.

I actually flipped out at her for it, and she said she didn't realize it was weird to do, and said she did it to "make my life easier." Then of course I felt bad for flipping.

My advice is to let it go.

RoxyLynn · February 2013

Your hostesses meant well, they just slipped up.

Throw the envelopes away and address your own. There's no need to confront them about it or anything; if they ask, you can just say you spilled a soda on the envelopes, darn it all, and re-did them.

tmrchi · February 2013

If I'm hosting a shower I normally print address labels from the computer for the invites. I also print out an extra copy for the mom to be / bride to use for the thank-yous. Saves a lot of time, and I think a computer generated address label is much better than a guest labeling their own.

rhubarb123 · February 2013

That is one of my pet peeves and I actually never do it when requested to do so. I think there was only one time I did not get a thank you card. lol Just use the thank you cards that you bought. It is tacky to ask the guests to write their name and address on the envelope..it only takes like 30-45 seconds. If the MTB can't spare that amount of time then she probably should not have had a shower.

guilletskichuk · February 2013

rhubarb123:
That is one of my pet peeves and I actually never do it when requested to do so. I think there was only one time I did not get a thank you card. lol Just use the thank you cards that you bought. It is tacky to ask the guests to write their name and address on the envelope..it only takes like 30-45 seconds. If the MTB can't spare that amount of time then she probably should not have had a shower.

I honestly had never heard of this being done before coming to this board. My first thought was that it wasn't supposed to be a time saver as much as it was to make sure the MTB had the correct addresses to send the thank you cards to. But I suppose that's probably not the case if invites were sent in the mail, hey?

IsaiahGirl · February 2013

This happened to me at one of my showers. The hostess didn't ask me ahead of time, and I was mortified when she brought them out at the shower. I didn't think to use new envelopes, but I did make my notes to each guest as personal as possible and had them done and mailed by the next weekend. I figured that if it was meant to be a timesaver, I had no excuse to put off writing them. I just hope people realize I didn't know about it at all and didn't plan on being that lazy!

lovely4321 · February 2013

There are worse things.

JBMarq3 · February 2013

Was there not already addresses for the invitations??

mrskelly731 · February 2013

IsaiahGirl:
This happened to me at one of my showers. The hostess didn't ask me ahead of time, and I was mortified when she brought them out at the shower. I didn't think to use new envelopes, but I did make my notes to each guest as personal as possible and had them done and mailed by the next weekend. I figured that if it was meant to be a timesaver, I had no excuse to put off writing them. I just hope people realize I didn't know about it at all and didn't plan on being that lazy!

This exactly. My SIL was the hostess and she used it as a game. After they addressed their envelopes she drew one and they got a prize. I felt awkward sitting in silence as they were all writing their information like they were at a Dr's office filling out paperwork.

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Is it just me or is this tacky?

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