Stop touching me! (Long and vent/question)

TJ1979 · February 2013

Obviously I love my daughter and my husband immensely. And I love hugging and kissing and cuddling them both. But sometimes... just sometimes... I need some space. Friday night E was up every hour until I gave in and put her in bed with me. Which means she's right up next to me nursing and cuddling all night. Which I mostly love, but don't get good deep sleep while she's doing it. Then all day Saturday she was just fussy, fussy, fussy. She had a low fever (99) and a bit of a cold, so we cuddled extra that day, and she nursed more often but smaller meals because of the congestion. She's also in this phase where she is pawing and swatting and grabbing and pulling at everything - hair, nose, lips, jewelry, whatever she can get her hands on. And for some reason, MH did not change a single diaper on Saturday - it was all mommy all day. By her bedtime, I just felt like I couldn't stand being touched anymore. I tried to put on her PJs and she kept grabbing at my face (she grabs hard and pinches and digs in her nails) so I had to walk away and go ask MH to get her ready for bed. Then I nursed her and put her down to bed, only to have MH pawing at me and wanting to cuddle and more. And just the thought of being touched any more made me cringe. And of couse she was up every hour all night again until I put her in bed with me.

Does anyone else just get tired of being touched all the time? Have you ever just felt like you had to walk away? Or am I a terrible mom for being tired of being touched?

jesselayne8 · February 2013

There is a term for it called touch saturation. It is totally normal. Hope you get a break soon!

DrRx · February 2013

I don't think that you're a terrible mom. Everyone needs a break sometimes, just to be alone. I'm sorry that DH didn't help you more on Saturday. Have you talked to him about being conscious of helping change the diaper, etc?

itsmevkb · February 2013

During the depths of my worry about would I ever have another child and after my miscarriages I never would have thought there would be a time when I didn't welcome a hug from my children or want to hear everything they had to say. Yea, that's changed.

There are times when I literally can't bear the thought of another hug and I even get annoyed when my oldest says for the millionth time in a day "I love you mommy." How can I not just love hearing that? But, there are times when I get serious audio overload along with physical and I just need some peace, quiet and a few minutes alone.

So, either I'm the worst mom ever or it's sorta normal.

Saraevh · February 2013

Totally normal.

And for me, especially in the husband area I love him, really - I do, but I would not be upset if he magically decided that he would like to sleep on the couch 5 days out of the week.

LnR70707 · February 2013

I've had these moments and there are certain things over time that just started to drive me nuts...like him "tickling" me through the back slats of a chair while I'm eating...at first it was really cute, now I just want to eat without anyone hovering behind me or touching me.

rjade9 · February 2013

I feel like that sometimes, I just want to be left alone and not touched or talked to lol. You're absolutley not a bad mom for walking away! If It makes you feel any better I sent ds 1 to his room for a nap (he was being super sassy and ds2 was crying on and off for 3 hours!), then I put ds2 in his bassinet and let him cry for a little bit because I was about to have a breakdown lol. Dh was at work so I was alone it was all I could do! We can't be supermom all the time :-)

4legsRbest · February 2013

A couple of weeks ago I broke down just sobbing in the kitchen and had to go to the bedroom and lay down cry for a few minutes. Everybody (DS, DH and dogs) need, need, need from me all day long and it gets to be overwhelming! Huge (((hugs))) - you are totally normal Smile

pb_bride · February 2013

TJ, huge hugs! You are definitely NOT a terrible mom! We all get overwhelmed at some point. I had a bad weekend too with M, and after a while, I just needed to walk away and let DH deal with him, even though, like you, I love my little baby.

As for E swatting and grabbing, can you give her a lovey blanket or something else for her to hold on to while you nurse? I give M a lovey though he isn't in love w/it yet; then I just let him grab my finger and I just hold on to his whole arm/hand so he can't be flinging his arm all over the place.

TJ1979 · February 2013

DrRx:
I don't think that you're a terrible mom. Everyone needs a break sometimes, just to be alone. I'm sorry that DH didn't help you more on Saturday. Have you talked to him about being conscious of helping change the diaper, etc?

He is normally very good. It just worked out funny that day where every time it was diaper time, he was busy doing something else. I do need to talk to him about what happened though. He asked me if I was okay and I just told him I needed a moment. But I didn't explain why.

TJ1979 · February 2013

pb_bride:

TJ, huge hugs! You are definitely NOT a terrible mom! We all get overwhelmed at some point. I had a bad weekend too with M, and after a while, I just needed to walk away and let DH deal with him, even though, like you, I love my little baby.

As for E swatting and grabbing, can you give her a lovey blanket or something else for her to hold on to while you nurse? I give M a lovey though he isn't in love w/it yet; then I just let him grab my finger and I just hold on to his whole arm/hand so he can't be flinging his arm all over the place.

Thanks pb, and hugs back at you. I hope M gets it back together for you soon. While nursing we have some luck with a nursing necklace, but she gets very upset if I attempt to hold her hand. She will even push my hand off of her if I just rest it on her belly or bum while nursing. Haha, guess she's got touch saturation too! For the most part I can handle the nursing periods, it's all of the time though. While playing or sitting in my lap or even being held, her hands are constantly grabbing everything. I try to give her things to grab, but of course mommy's things are much more interesting than her things. And don't even think about coming near her with a plate of food or a cup, because I promise you will be wearing it as soon as she can reach it. I know this is just a stage, and it's how babies learn, and it's really a good thing that she's so inquisitive. But goodness, mama needs an afternoon alone on the beach with a cocktail!

cbubbles2 · February 2013

I completely remember feeling that way once I got to the end of BFing. He was always grabbing my skin, face, hair, etc. It was definitely worse when I had PMS, too. It gets hard always carrying around an infant, being hunched over nursing, etc. Now I live for his little kisses and hugs and cherish every second he sits still on my lap or loves on me because he's just too busy to be bothered with old mama.

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