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September 2011 Moms
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WWYD

casey820casey820 member
in September 2011 Moms
I have a cousin who passed away and her viewing it tonight and the funeral tomorrow. It's a close family member and everyone will be there meaning I will have no sitter. DH is definitely expected to go too.

My question is do you think it's appropriate to take Emily with us to the viewing tonight ? And then maybe have DH skip the funeral to stay home with her tomorrow?

It's a 19 year old who passed. I dont think I'd have this dilemma if it were someone elderly where it was not as unexpected and tragic.
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Re: WWYD

  • roxpinkroxpink member

    I don't see any problems in taking her with you to both events, except if it is during her nap time or bed time and she gets super cranky. I think she might bring a smile to everyone's faces during such a sad time. Make sure to bring some books, snacks and/or whatever comforts her just in case! 

    So sorry for your loss!  

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  • mnewleemnewlee member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I'd take her to the viewing, no problem. Like Rox said, she might  be a little ray of sunshine in a tough situation.

    Thinking about how G would be, I don't think I"d take her to the actual service unless the funeral home has some kind of side room you could slip into in case she gets loud. 

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  • JcraulJcraul
    We had a loss around the time D was becoming very vocal.  We didn't take her to the viewing but she was at the service and funeral.  I can't say she was quiet but the people around us were very understanding and I know the deceased would have wanted it that way.  If you don't have a friend who can watch her I'd take her. Worse case senerio you have to pop out early.
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  • memali26memali26 member

    I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

    DD1 was 12 months when my uncle passed away, and I did take her to the visitation and funeral. Several people told me they were really glad I brought her and that it was a comfort to have her there as a little ray of sunshine. I did hesitate about it before hand, but in my family kids are included in every event, so after discussing with my parents (it was my dad's brother that passed) we decided this was no different and the family would want her there.

    Before and after the service my sisters took her out to run out some energy, and during the service we gave her a quiet snack, a little book, and a soft doll. She spent most of the time sitting with my mom rocking her baby doll and giving my dad hugs and kisses. She was really good and I am glad we took her.   

    Mama to two sweet girls
    DD1 Feb 2010
    DD2 Sept 2011


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  • casey820casey820 member
    Thanks for the advice on this. We took e to the viewing last night. It was almost a 2 hour wait In line outside in the cold. We had a blanket wrapped around here. Thank goodness we got there early while it was still in the 40s. She was so well behaved. Everyone in line said so.
    DH stayed home with her this morning while I went to the funeral mass.

    It all worked out in the end. I just can't believe how good she was, my little angel.
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  • Ms5586Ms5586 member
    I think taking her is absolutely acceptable.  When gram passed, it was nice to have the kids there as a small distraction when needed.  I'm so sorry for your loss.
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