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December 2010 Moms
lrn327
member
What are your dinner/snack "rules"?
lrn327
member
I feel like I'm getting to the point of needing to set something, I just don't know what. C's a decent eater. We never have a problem with carbs, cheese or fruit of course and he's at veggies and proteins. I feel we eat pretty early (6pm, can't really push it much later) and breakfast isn't until 8:30am at school so I think that's kind of a long time to go if he decides not to eat that night. We do give him a snack about 50% of the time and it's usually something healthy but that he likes, banana, raisins, veggie muffin, etc. So, sometimes, like tonight he'll eat the one thing he likes and then decide he's done. We'll tell him that he can get down but remind him there are no snacks in that case. I just want him to know he can't choose not to eat at dinner, thinking he'll fill up later. Almost all of the time, he'll come back to the table, but then what am I supposed to expect him to do? Eat a certain number of bites? Finish the plate? DH and I both came from "plate finisher" families and I know that is NOT a healthy habit to set up. We eat healthfully and he is very active, but I just want to set the right habits. RIght now I've been telling him two more big bites of each thing, but I just feel I'm doing it wrong. Ugh, parenting is hard!
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Re: What are your dinner/snack "rules"?
Tonight, he ate 3 bites of cheese quesadilla, and zero carrots.
I did offer him applesauce around 7. DH keeps reminding me that he'll eat if he's hungry! I know it's true, but still tough!
I guess my only "rule" is that he's allowed to revisit dinner, but MOST nights, if he doesn't eat it, that's it. If I really think he's hungry, I'll offer him a healthy snack after dinner.
I also have a pretty good eater, but his favorite food on Tuesday can just as quickly land on the floor on Wednesday. I never force DS to eat. When he starts showing disinterest in his food and I feel like he hasn't eaten enough, I will take his plate away. He'll want to get down to play with his toys, but our rule is that he must sit at the table while we eat. This happened tonight. He'll watch us eating, and then decide that he wants to eat too.
We also have made a little game of eating when he starts poking around the food instead of eating it. DH will say, "Can DS eat those green beans? I don't think so!" And DS will giggle and want to prove DH wrong of course, and he will eat some beans. More of the same, "Can DS eat another bite? That's a pretty big bite! Can he do it? I don't think he can!" And I swear, DS will gobble up the beans or whatever, just to show DH that he can.
DS often asks for dessert, whether it's fruit or applesauce or animal crackers. And he doesn't get dessert unless he's done a good job eating his dinner. This doesn't mean cleaning his plate. It just means that he's eaten a good amount of everything. There are definitely times that some of his plate ends up in the garbage.
I also came from a "clean your plate" family and I hated it. I was very stubborn and would sit at the table all night by myself if I didn't like something. Thank God for the dog. I will never do that to DS.
I have for a son an omnivore who is a bottomless pit, eats almost everything, and states asparagus is his favorite food, so take this with a grain of salt!
When there's something he's really eating on his plate that he asks for more of, we make him eat a bite of something else first before letting him have a second helping. You might try offering smaller portions of the things he likes and then have him bargain for the desired food by eating a bite of veggie or whatever else he's avoiding first.
My parents had us eat as many bites as we were old, but that was more a school-aged thing.
The only dinner/snack rules that we have trouble enforcing here are: no feet on the table & you have to wash hands afterwards before playing (and no touching the walls, chair, everything en route to the sink to wash them!).
In our house, noone leaves the table until we're all done eating. If DD decides she isn't hungry, she can push her plate to the side but she needs to sit at the table still. 9 times out of 10, she'll go back to her dinner and eat a few more bites while she's sitting there.
I also came from a "you must clean your plate" family and I 100 blame my unhealthy eating habits to that. So we will not do that in our house
Personally we do not EVER say anything about number of bites, etc. I think it can turn into a power struggle very quickly and we don't even go there.
If LO doesn't finish her dinner but comes back later she can certainly eat the same food. Now, I won't be special making her something else, she can eat what's on her plate. If she happened to be hungry enough to eat that and want more, then she could have more - whether it's 2 bites or the whole plate.
The rule in our house is that it is my job to choose and prepare the food and get it on the plate. It is LOs decision whether or not to eat it. I do give toddler friendly food and not the spicier food that DH and I eat... for example whole wheat noodles with a little butter, some peas and some mango is a typical dinner for LO.
There have been some nights where LO just ate 1 part of her dinner. For example I can remember her just eating watermelon over the summer for a few nights. No big deal! If she's not hungry that's fine. We kept her plate on the table if she wanted food later and occasionally she would come back but sometimes not.
My main goal is avoiding becoming a short order cook or having LO decide she's going to skip dinner then eat snacks the whole rest of the night because they taste better.
Thanks everyone! I guess I'm thinking maybe we'll just offer the same plate again if he seems hungry. I'll still let him know no snacks so he understand no banana, only broccoli, if he chooses not to eat the first time. Like on PP said, I have done the "give me one big bite of veggie" before more milk if he asks for that. I forgot about that but it works well!
I just feel so pressured to not screw this up, kwim?
If hazel doesn't want to finish her dinner I don't really have a problem with it, unless there are like 2 bites left and its not enough to save. We don't have a garbage disposal, so I'd rather not have any more food waste than necessary.
I let her leave the table, but if she asks for a snack later I tell her she can have more of her dinner or nothing at all. If she's really hungry she'll eat her leftovers, if not then she gets them for lunch the next day
Thanks, I'm kind if "that" mommy too. In fact, my own mom tells me I'm harsh and my MIL thinks I'm nuts! I just want him to learn good eating habits. Do you give C a set number of bites if he wants a snack? Do you only give a snack if your kids eat "enough"?
Thanks! I think that's my plan then. And btw, I was exactly your DD as a kid!