Ferber method?

Raserei · February 2013

I have a baby who, for the past month, has been regularly waking every 2 hours every night. About once a week she'll throw in a night where she only wakes 1-2 times just so that I don't totally loose my mind. After the first two weeks, I was sure this wasn't just a growth spurt anymore.

She's easy to put to bed. Tubby, turn on ocean waves (sound machine), BF, lotion, nuk, rock, put to crib in her own room while just drowsy and she falls asleep. My real problem are those waking every 2 hours all night long!

I just got done reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". We do everything in that book to no avail. It just isn't working for us. In the middle of the night I keep her feedings (I let her nurse every time) to the point and silent. You eat, if you're just going to use me as a paci you get your nuk and back to bed you go. Now, I can tell she'll take a "real meal" 1-2 times a night, so I don't expect a 8p-7a SSTN. But only waking 1-2 times would be a miracle!

I don't believe in a true CIO where you close the door and return in the morning. But as I read that's not the Ferber method at all. Frequent visits with shushing and patting and even singing.

I may add that LO has proven she is very strong-willed. Once she had a period where she would scream for a bottle (pumped, I'm back to work and have a small stash) and would refuse to wait for my milk to come down. One morning, refusing to warm a bottle with her thrashing in my arms, I put her in her crim and rushed to get it ready. I suddenly realized that she was silent. I went back to the room to see her smiling and wiggling at me. Little stinker. This wouldn't be the last time I catch her starting down the path of manipulating a little to get what she wants. Needless to say I have not rushed to a bottle since. LO just had to learn to be patient for mommy's milk.

Has anyone who had similar frequent night wakings feel like sharing your wisdom?

JulieMarie21 · February 2013

I totally suggest getting Ferber's book and following it. DD was waking up 3-10 times a night and definitely using me as a pacifier. He has a schedule in the book for night weaning. We weaned down to 2 feedings a night because I wasn't ready to stop night feeding altogether since she was actually eating a full meal those times. It took a few weeks for her to wake at 1 and 4 for a feeding and no other time throughout the night (well she would wake but put herself back to sleep). After a few more weeks, she dropped a feeding on her own. I'm considering going back to the book in the next month to figure out how to drop that last nursing session.

catmtl · February 2013

I think that if your child is strong-willed, as you put it, then going in to her, shush-patting, singing and all that jazz won't be as effective as extinction CIO.

I did extinction myself as DS would only get worked up when I did come in and cry harder and harder each time I left. I tried this modified CIO for 5-6 days two different times. It was SO much worse for all of us this way and he actually cried more with the modified version. We finally resorted to extinction CIO and it only took an additional 1-2 days of very minimal crying compared to the preceding week. The second time I tried modified CIO for another 5-6 nail-biting days, followed by 1-2 days of (successful) extinction CIO.

This was just out personal experience though...

sk8erdevil19 · February 2013

About two months ago I had this same issue, and I was at my wits end. That's when I started the CIO method, and I would go in every 15 mins until she fell asleep. This worked for about a month, then when I would do that it would make her crying worse so I had to go a stricter route and have her completely CIO without visits. That is what worked for me. Now she will sleep from 8pm-8am without waking.

bigbootyjudi · February 2013

Ferber worked really well for us when DS started waking up multiple times in the MOTN. He was pretty strong willed beforehand too. We used to have to rock him to sleep for 45 minutes at least and then set him down, while praying he wouldn't wake up. We did Ferber, followed the recommended check-ins, and by the fifth day, he was putting himself to sleep with no crying or even fussing.

Now for naps, he wouldn't do Ferber. He would just scream and scream and me walking out would just make him even more upset. We ended up having to extinction CIO for naps and it took about three days until he was able to put himself down for a nap.

I was pretty against extinction in the beginning too, but he's a much happier baby now and he doesn't remember the three days of crying it took.

bonnieluvsbuster · February 2013

how long would he cry during naps? ds will screech for hours if i let her but i haven't tried extinction method.

catmtl · February 2013

With extinction it's really rare for it to take more than 2 to 3 days and the crying spells don't last nearly as long. There's less crying overall from what I've experienced.

Raserei · February 2013

Thank you all for sharing your experiences! Last night when DD went down at 8pm (she goes down initially without a peep) but woke at 10, starting her every 2 hour habit all over again. I went in and gave her the nuk and patted for a min but she was getting upset, so I left for the 3 minutes. Oh, she was upset, but when I went back in and soothed her she settled in and slept till 2am when I nursed her. Up again at 5 which was an improvement, so another nursing and up for the day at 7.

So, so far rather less fighting than I anticipated! I hope the rest of the week works this easy (haha).

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