Two Under 2

Is it really easier with an outside baby and toddler?

I'm exhausted and thinking, How am I going to do this? I'm trying to remember that I'm not feeling like myself right now and will have the energy. I swear that I forgot what it's like not being pregnant. 
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Re: Is it really easier with an outside baby and toddler?

  • My kids are a little older now but Lexie was 15.5 months when we had Colton. In the beginning it was a lot easier. Colt was a newborn, didnt move, and all that non fun stuff. When he got more mobile I just had to seal off all possible escape routes via gates. Now that they are 3 and almost 2, I'm pulling my hair out and we have twins on the way. I think if we had our son first, he may have been an only child. I am not sure what your oldest is like but mine is into EVERYTHING and is pretty possissive of me.

    In short, youll have the energy at the start. If you feel overwhelmed is there someone that can come give you a hand a couple of times a week? Have you been telling your son (I think I read your ticker right) that a baby is coming? Sometimes a doll, even though hes a boy, will ease him in better. Telling him to be gentle with baby and you carry it around a bit as well. It'll make the transistion a bit easier and be a little less stress on you.

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  • For me it was but your experience may vary. It will really depend on how well your youngest sleeps, how quickly you recover from delivery, etc.
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  • I felt like physically, it was easier. With a newborn, you get broken sleep but it felt like better sleep (to me) because I was not so uncomfortable. I just generally felt better in my skin and more able to get around and interact with my older DD.
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  • imageIrisheyes1247:
    I felt like physically, it was easier. With a newborn, you get broken sleep but it felt like better sleep (to me) because I was not so uncomfortable. I just generally felt better in my skin and more able to get around and interact with my older DD.

    This! The sleep part was better for me, because it felt like more sound sleep even if it was broken. I hated being pregnant with a toddler (mine was 13.5 months when my 2nd was born). I felt like myself almost immediately after giving birth and could finally interact with my 1st the way I wanted.

    Theres pros and cons to each side but I definitely wouldn't want to be pregnant again right now...  

  • imagemelaniedel:
    I'm exhausted and thinking, How am I going to do this? I'm trying to remember that I'm not feeling like myself right now and will have the energy. I swear that I forgot what it's like not being pregnant. 

    i am in the same boat as you I am I little behind you and am having Irish twins :0 lol  

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  • I think sleeping is the tough part. I have been waking up between 2-4:30 am. Not sure, but think its a combo of discomfort and a little anxiety. Not exercising like I am used to, and I guess just not myself. 

    Ds is great sleeper...we had an issue with climbing out the crib last week so babyproofed his room and converted the crib. It was a nightmare. He was exhausted and I just can't do it right now. So we put a thinner mattress around and turned the crib around. He cannot climb out now and we are all much better! It's temporary, but I just  need him to be ready. 

    I have a sitter that can come 3 times a week for DS1... Like three hours in the morning and I figure I can make meals, rest, or catch up on things during this time so that should help. 

    I did buy him a boy doll, and a ton of big brother books which we read to him every night. Not sure he really gets what a baby is yet though.

    Thanks for all of the advice ladies. I am just physically exhausted and ready for March! I can't wait to really play with DS again, too :) 

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  • It is hard to say.

    My kids are 16 months apart.  Toward the end of my second pregnancy I was pretty miserable.  I was big and swollen.  DS as almost 10 pounds at birth.  So feeling so huge and having a 16 month old to carry around and care for was hard.

    But.. having a newborn and a 16 month old was hard too.  It felt a lot better once I had given birth, but in terms of juggling and having more responsibility, obviously having that baby to care for was tough.

    Mine are now 2 and 3.5 and I am actually a lot happier with the age gap now than I was the first year. 

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  • I think the first 6-7 months with two kids was easy. It was once DD2 became mobile that I wanted to pull my hair out. Having a toddler and a preschooler has been more difficult (but lots more fun, too).
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  • Way easier, at least for me. I was so physically unable to do anything by the time LO2 was born, that it was a welcomed relief!

    Right now LO2 doesn't require much attention. She is generally a very, very, good baby. However, I know it will get a lot harder when I have 2 toddlers on my hands! (18m apart) It won't last forever though. I'm sure they will be grateful for it- I wish I had a sibling so close in age!

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  • To answer your question, I have to say NO.  NO.  NO it is NOT easier.  I spent a super HOT summer pregnant, but still took DS to the playground every week 1-2 times.  Now that DD is here, it is a lot harder to logistically do these things.  Think, HOW THE HELL DO I GET THEM BOTH READY TO GO OUT vs I'm pg and bloated but I can still get out the door in a reasonable time.  LMAO...Of course I kid, but "survival mode" is a wonderful perk of being a woman!  GL to you!
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  • Newborn phase is pretty easy because they sleep a lot and you can bribe the toddler while nursing with snacks 

    3-6 months was absolute h?ll. baby is awake a ton more but can't really sit up to play, depending on your age gap we went out a lot but heavily relied on the stroller. Wearing baby was impossible because my toddler ended up getting carried too and "patting" the baby on the head or worse.

    Crawling was way easier but that's when they started fighting! DS could now go and take DD toys but that's really when I was able to start drinking coffee again in the morning (sitting and enjoying ny coffee)  we also got a great routine down. 

    I don't know if it ever gets easier but what was hard before gets easier and you are set with a new set of difficulties at every stage.  

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  • Our kids are basically the same age difference and both boys. Having made it out of the 1st two months I feel so much better. The thing that has helped me the most with my toddler is keeping our play yard up. Even though we have this section of the house gated and baby proofed he was finding everything to get into. If I have to use the rest room or be occupied in the kitchen I pop the toddler in the play yard with some toys and can take care of things for a few minutes. 
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  • I think it varies for each mom. For me, yes it was easier having a baby and a toddler. My first 2 are 15 months apart and even through the first 4-5 months were extremely hard at least I was getting good sleep in 3 hour incredments. Before ds2 came I wasn't sleep at all. I also felt like I could play more with ds1 and do more things without being miserable. With ds3, its been extremely easy but I think that's b/c I already had done it once
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  • imageJocelynB0911:

    My kids are a little older now but Lexie was 15.5 months when we had Colton. In the beginning it was a lot easier. Colt was a newborn, didnt move, and all that non fun stuff. When he got more mobile I just had to seal off all possible escape routes via gates. Now that they are 3 and almost 2, I'm pulling my hair out and we have twins on the way. I think if we had our son first, he may have been an only child. I am not sure what your oldest is like but mine is into EVERYTHING and is pretty possissive of me.

    In short, youll have the energy at the start. If you feel overwhelmed is there someone that can come give you a hand a couple of times a week? Have you been telling your son (I think I read your ticker right) that a baby is coming? Sometimes a doll, even though hes a boy, will ease him in better. Telling him to be gentle with baby and you carry it around a bit as well. It'll make the transistion a bit easier and be a little less stress on you.

    i'm amazed at what you do!!! you have two kids 15 months apart and having twins!?  you are my hero...i can barely function right now with a 21 month old and a newborn...if i had 2 and 2 newborns i'd go mental!

    good luck with your twins :) 

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  • imagemsualum96:
    To answer your question, I have to say NO.  NO.  NO it is NOT easier.  I spent a super HOT summer pregnant, but still took DS to the playground every week 1-2 times.  Now that DD is here, it is a lot harder to logistically do these things.  Think, HOW THE HELL DO I GET THEM BOTH READY TO GO OUT vs I'm pg and bloated but I can still get out the door in a reasonable time.  LMAO...Of course I kid, but "survival mode" is a wonderful perk of being a woman!  GL to you!

    this!!

     Most people seem to say newborn and toddler is easier but I do NOT get that. I didn't find being pregnant with a baby/toddler THAT hard at all.  

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  • No way!  But my 2nd was a nightmare baby.  Good luck!
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  • I think it varies. For me pregnancy was waaay harder than having these 2 girls. I tell people all the time that if it weren't for having to be pregnant for 9 months then I would have 10 kids.

    If you can get a good routine going it makes it easier. Hang in there! 

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  • I think that technically an inside baby and toddler were easier but it never got crazy for me with both being on the outside.  We'll see how I feel adding the 2nd baby with a toddler ;-)
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  • Thanks everyone! I really don't like being pregnant...I assume I will fall in the easier with outside baby category. Then again, we will see!
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  • My short answer:

    SO MUCH EASIER.

  • imageIrisheyes1247:
    I felt like physically, it was easier. With a newborn, you get broken sleep but it felt like better sleep (to me) because I was not so uncomfortable. I just generally felt better in my skin and more able to get around and interact with my older DD.

    All of this. I even had 3u3 and found it much easier to handle than being pg.

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  • imageIrisheyes1247:
    I felt like physically, it was easier. With a newborn, you get broken sleep but it felt like better sleep (to me) because I was not so uncomfortable. I just generally felt better in my skin and more able to get around and interact with my older DD.

    I would ditto this!

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  • No, it's not "easier", you just feel less uncomfortable imo.
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