Baby 2 and Deployment — The Bump
Military Families

Baby 2 and Deployment

Hi everyone.  My husband and I have an 8 month old daughter and know that we want another baby.  Ideally I would like them to be 2ish years apart but with an impending deployment that isn't really going to be an option.  Option 1 is we try twice very soon and see if it works before he leaves, making the babies only 17-18 months apart and potentially a thanksgiving or christmas baby. Option 2 is we wait until he gets back making the babies 2.5-3 years apart.  I like option 2 because I would prefer the kids further apart and not a Christmas baby.  My hubby likes Option 1 because he doesn't want to be an 'old' dad (hes almost 35, not that old in my book).  Any baby would be a blessing and I know I could handle 2 yougens.  I know no one can really tell me what to do but any advice, ideas, or perspectives I haven't thought of would be greatly appreciated!

 

Re: Baby 2 and Deployment

  • Personally, I'd want option 2 as well, I think it would be easier to handle two kiddos with that age gap, versus that young of a first sibling while pregnant with the next one.  But, I wouldn't put a lot of credence on the whole Christmas baby thing.  Even if you try after deployment, you could still have a "Christmas baby."  DS was due the day after Christmas, and neither DH nor I cared.  

    LOs are born when they're born and even trying later wouldn't totally avoid the Christmas baby potential.
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  • My DDs are 16.5 months apart and DD2's bday is 4 days after Christmas.  Honestly, it's not hard to keep her birthday separate from Christmas.  As far as the age gap, I love it.  My girls are best friends and DD1 was young enough that she was never jealous of DD2.  Two under two was not bad at all.  It got more challenging as the girls got older, they were both mobile, and had opinions about what they wanted to do.  Oh, it's also nice that they play with the same toys.  I never had to worry about DD2 choking on DD1's toys because she didn't have any small piece toys.

    Good luck with your decision. 

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  • If you get preggos before he deploys and you have a difficult pregnancy do you have family nearby who will be able to help you?  Just something to consider.
  • I really wouldn't wish 2u2 on anyone alone :( Being alone for a year is hard. We are into month 11 of 15 and I am so burnt out. I can't imagine it with 2u2. The difference between 35 and say 36/37 isn't huge. Now if you were talking 5 or 10 years I would say age is a factor 1 year not so much.
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