Introduction and a question

KatieKT · February 2013

Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting on the Bump!
I have a 20 month old son as a result of 8 years of trying and three infertility clinics. While struggling TTC I always said that if we were fortunate enough to have a baby I wouldn't use fertility drugs or artificial methods to have a second child.
Now having a child and seeing how amazing it is I'm having difficulty deciding if at 38 years old I should go through the process again or just be grateful and focus all of my energy on my son.
Obviously it's a personal choice but I'm curious what others might think in similar situations? Thanks for any feedback!

Robeano · February 2013

First off welcome. Secondly my only advice is if you'll regret not trying for a second one, do it.

IBackBevo · February 2013

First, welcome! Second, congrats!

My DH feels like you used to feel. He thinks we should be one and done unless we just happen to get a miracle BFP. He says we should just enjoy our child and our experience and not worry about it. I want to have another one, but for now I am just letting the issue go as my LO is still so young and I had such a difficult/high risk pregnancy that my body needs a break anyway.

I think it just has to be a personal decision. If you don't mind my asking, what was your IF diagnosis? How likely would achieving another pregnancy be? I mean, if those 8 years were consumed mostly with trying on your own, getting a correct diagnosis and finding the right protocal, and concieving a second would most likely be easier (and not take as much time), then I think that might weigh on my decision. But if it is just a matter of rolling the dice and you could go through all of that again and still not have a take home baby, then I would not want to re-open myself up to a ton of heart ache and disapointment. But every person is different.

TJ1979 · February 2013

Congrats and welcome! Does your family feel complete? I know my family is not complete yet. We will have a 2nd child. Whether we are super lucky and it's a surprise BFP, whether we go through treatments again, or whether we adopt, there will be a 2nd baby. We feel it in our hearts. What do you feel?

pb_bride · February 2013

Welcome to SAIF! Our LO (conceived via IVF) is only 3 months old so I don't know if we are going to have a #2. FWIW, I was 38 when I went through IVF. So if you are concerned about your age, I can tell you that in my OB clinic, 38 is considered NBD. Now, in our case, if we go for #2, I'll be 41 the soonest when that happens. That is quite a dilemma for me ...

ELF4321 · February 2013

Welcome and congrats on your son. I don't think I can be helpful because we always planned to be "one and done" and that's still the plan. Good luck with whatever you decide.

itsmevkb · February 2013

I always knew I wanted more than one child so trying for a second was never really a question. My approach to pursuing treatment and which treatments was that in the end I needed to be able to look back and know we did everything we could to have more children. If I could say yes, we did all we could, then even if nothing was successful at least I would know we tried. So, I think you need to think about what, if anything, would allow you to not have regrets. For some that might be just trying on your own and hoping for a miracle, or maybe doing IUI, or going all the way to IVF but no donor eggs, etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Oh, and as a 41 year-old who just had her fourth, you're a spring chicken ;-)

KatieKT · February 2013

We were unexplained, had three failed ivf cycles and got pregnant totally unexpectedly during a trial cycle of meds so it really would be rolling the dice. Even as I was having a c section I was secretly hoping my doctor was going to see something and say ahha this is why you had so much trouble! Part of me says maybe it was just the new drug protocol and it would work again but the other part is worried to go through the anxiety again.

KatieKT · February 2013

Thanks! I love your question. It's one I haven't asked myself and now you have me thinking in a way I wasn't. Love that.

Mrs.AmyDylan · February 2013

Welcome! We are at 7w with our DD from our first IVF cycle.

We are unexplained and I'm wishing and praying that we get pregnant with #2 just by having sex. I dont believe our family is complete. Pre IF we had talked about wanting 3. I could do IVF again for #2, but I think I would stop at that point (unless we end up with frosties). We don't have any frosties from our first cycle, so we would be starting over.

Pnut30 · February 2013

Welcome and good luck with your decision!

IBackBevo · February 2013

KatieKT:
We were unexplained, had three failed ivf cycles and got pregnant totally unexpectedly during a trial cycle of meds by an iui so it really would be rolling the dice. Even as I was having a c section I was secretly hoping my doctor was going to see something and say ahha this is why you had so much trouble! Part of me says maybe it was just the new drug protocol and it would work again but the other part is worried to go through the anxiety again.

If I were in your shoes (and, again, just what I would do), I would at least try doing what worked before because it might work again. But I am also one of those who can say that I think I would be okay with just one child. I might want another one, but I don't think I would feel like my family was incomplete if I didn't have another one. Good luck to you whatever you decide! And I hope to see you around more!

Dragonfly1226 · February 2013

Welcome! You're right. It is a personal decision. For us, we always knew we would do whatever we needed to do to build our family. Our second round of IVF brought us DS. (The other stuff we tried and failed with is in my siggy.) When we decided to start TTC again we went straight to a FET. I am now 36 years old and pregnant with twin girls. We haven't ruled out another FET a few years down the road.

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