Here's the situation thus far...
I found a homebirth midwife that I love that is letting us use her assistant's house as a birth center for our birth. We will be staying with my parents for all of this (long story) and they live an hour away from a hospital so we decided that we weren't comfortable with that situation. Luckily the midwife has a place and I was very happy with the arrangements. My parents even offered to pay!
But lately my Mom has been doing a lot of reading and talking to people about this. She has a friend who is a maternity RN at the hospital and she keeps telling my mom these horror stories of women coming in from having homebirths and almost losing their babies. She's becoming more and more uncomfortable with the idea and asked if we would be willing to birth in the hospital if she hired a doula and dealt with the hospital politics for me. We've watched BOBB together and I've voiced my fears of the hospital to her so she understands all of that and is willing to learn to help me out so I can have the birth I want.
The upside to this is that a birth in the hospital would be covered by insurance. While my parents are very gracious to offer to pay the $3800 for the homebirth and are more than able to afford it, it's a huge number to ask of them. H and I could pay on our own but things for us are tight since we're both still in school and I'm the breadwinner and will be taking off work from June on so H can start his job, which means we'll have a month there with very little income. Financially speaking I do see the benefit in having the baby in the hospital.
Now I'm just wondering if all this trouble is worth it to have a natural birth in the hospital. I just hear so many stories from friends who delivered there about crabby nurses, rude doctors, etc. I feel like if I'm doing all of this work to have a natural birth I'd rather be around those who are supportive of this, which they don't seem to be from past accounts. And making my mom and a doula fight with them seems a little off-putting to me. So I guess my questions is, did anyone else plan a natural birth and then just decide to get the epi and not deal with the pressures from hospital staff? Or do you think it's worth it to get everyone involved and onboard with my plans? I definitely see the benefits in natural birth for sure, but not if it's going to cause me stress.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Re: Natural Birth in Hospital - Worth It?
Does your midwife have hospital privileges, or would you have to transfer care to an OB?
I'd sign up for a hospital tour and talk to the nurses. See if they seem NB-friendly. If you'll have to transfer care to an OB, see if the any of them on staff at your hospital are willing to do an initial consultation appt with you to answer some questions. If you can find an OB who truly supports your plan and the nurses at the hospital seem supportive, I'd consider hiring your midwife as a doula for a hospital birth.
If they don't seem supportive, I'd explain that to your mom and see what she says. You can expect her to pay for a decision she doesn't support, but if she's still willing that's great.
FWIW, I planned on a HB with DS1. We were under mandatory evacuation from our house at the end of my pregnancy and staying with my parents. I didn't feel comfortable having a HB in their house, so we ended up in the hospital. I regret how it all went down because I ended up with almost every intervention in the book, short of a section, but I think that if I had had a doula and done more research into the real risks of GBS (which I was positive for) things would have turned out a lot differently.
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I think you're going to get mixed responses on this. Some people birth at home and wouldn't be comfortable any other way and some people can have a successful natural birth in a hospital. I guess some of it depends on the attitude of the doctors and nurses in the hospital.
I had a natural birth in a hospital and didn't have to fight anyone for it (except trying to avoid a HEPLOCK, which I was able to do kind of by accident). The nurses asked if I planned on an Epi, I said NO and it was never mentioned again. But my labor was pretty straight forward, so I'm sure that helped.
Could you try to feel out the hospital and staff beforehand to find out the attitude towards NB? Unless you know that they are going to give you grief, I wouldn't automatically assume the worst.
That being said, natural birth in the hospital isn't horrible. It of course depends on your hospital. Mine is very natural birth friendly and I had zero issues with the nurses and staff for my natural birth plan with an OB at a hospital. I have the same plan for this LO as well. Personally, I do not feel comfortable with a home birth or midwife situation so that is why I found an OB that worked with my plan and I'm fortunate to have a great hospital where we live.
Maybe plan a hospital tour soon so you can get a feel for it.
I agree with the pp about checking out the hospital, doing a tour, meeting with the nurses and the OBs (if possible) and trying to get a feel for the place. Also, I would bring your mom. If you're getting the sense that you're going to have to fight for every last little thing from getting a heplock instead of an IV to laboring in a position that's comfortable for you to telling the nurses for the hundredth time that NO you don't want any pain meds...I wouldn't deliver there. Your mom may be willing to hire a doula and advocate for you, but frankly she shouldn't have to. Not to mention, while having a doula there is certainly beneficial for a woman in labor, there are no guarantees that she would be able to advocate for you. Mine won't (it's a non-issue, since I'm delivering at a freestanding birth center), and it's even specified in her contract.
Even though my L&D didn't go the way I had hoped, I still had a wonderful experience in a natural-birth friendly hospital with an amazing staff. It's very possible to have a great birth experience in a hospital, but you definitely have to do your research. Oh, and tell your mom not to listen to any more homebirth/birth center horror stories. I promise, for every home birth disaster story, there are a hundred home birth stories with positive outcomes. Not to mention, tragedies can just as easily happen in a hospital.
Here's the thing about OB nurses. The only home birth moms and babies they see are the rare ones where things go wrong. They never get to see the great success stories of home births, overseen by responsible midwives and caregivers. They see the unattended home births, irresponsible caregivers, and precipitous births. There are certain complications that require hospital care, and whether you birth in a hospital or at home, it will be an emergency, no matter where you are.
I had an extremely disappointing hospital birth. I was extremely prepared, and had my birth plan set and approved by my natural-friendly OB. But hospital policies that I had no prior knowledge of kept getting in my way. I still managed to avoid pain medications and other interventions, but it was augmented with pitocin after several hours of bullying by hospital staff. They were not as natural-birth friendly as I had been led to believe on the tours.
Do what feels right for you. Try having your mother come with you to meet your midwife. The midwife should be able to go over in detail her emergency plans, and explain to your mother very well how safe home births are. She can share her success stories and statistics. Maybe that will help alleviate your mothers fears.
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I had to be induced, but had otherwise med-free birth in the hospital. Our hospital was very supportive in this choice, every nurse and doctor I dealt with backed me on it 100% and the nurse that I had assigned to me on the day I actually delivered had been a midwife before becoming a nurse.
In part that was because this hospital is always supportive in these things, and also because I had some medical complications (on blood thinners, allergic to lidocaine, clotting factors in my blood) which meant that all my doctors (family, OB, perinatologist) were really really invested in a birth with as little intervention as possible because NO ONE wanted me having a c-section for any reason. Also, due to the lidocaine allergy, I couldn't have an epidural at all, only an interthecal.
I had to be on an iv two of the three days I was there (any time I was on a medication, first cytotec/cervidil and then on the day of delivery, pitocin) but they made sure that I had a rolling iv pole. They also wanted me monitored as much as possible, so they got me waterproof, wireless monitors. These meant that I could move around all I wanted. I had a birthing ball and a squat bar in my room, and they started a hot bath for me just before I went into transition and I soaked in that throughout transition.
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I agree with this first part. I had a natural birth in the hospital and it was great. I had a wonderful experience and got everything I wanted. The big thing is to find an OB who is supportive of a natural birth. My OB was so positive and supportive and never pushed unwanted things on me, not even a Heplock. I had wonderful nurses who helped my doula wipe my brow and never made a negative comment. The big thing is do what feels right for you. This is your birth and your L&D. Think about what you want and where you will feel most comfortable at. It is important to have positive people surrounding you. Talk to your mom about the situation. Have her meet your doula and the MW, tour the birth center, all of these things will help her become more comfortable with the situation so she can support you.
pardon me for only skimming pp comments... I'd just like to add my experience to help you decide.
I had a natural birth in a hospital with an OB. I had a midwife for my regular OB however she no longer does deliveries. The other doc in her practice delivered my LO. They were well aware that I wanted to have a natural birth.
I arrived at the hospital at 4cm, was offered epi by the doc and declined. The nurse that came in also assumed that I'd be getting the epi so she asked if I was ready for it and again, I declined. I was offered again by my doc at 7ish cm and told it was now or never and opted for never. The OB offered to break my water and I said no thanks, not yet. It broke on its own.
I delivered at a large hospital that has a 98% epidural rate and 40% c-section rate so I was a mini celeb while being wheeled to the postpartum room!!
Bottom line: It was offered intervention but I had a really quick labor (arrived at 3:30pm @ 4cm and delivered at 6:30pm) so I didn't get hassled at all. The nurses didn't have a clue how to help me with pain but they left me alone! I just stayed very firm when I said no intervention!
Thank you everyone! I plan on sharing this thread with my Mom to give her an idea of what we may face. The big thing is that I am not going to be able to really tour the hospital or even meet my OB or midwife in person until my third trimester. H and I live in California now where I'm seeing by a wonderful group of hospital midwives whom I adore. I would love to deliver here, but H got a job opportunity that we cannot say no to. I also have been offered a job there and will be able to work until I have the baby and then they're going to allow me to work from home. So it's a fantastic situation for us. This baby was quite the unexpected surprise so we weren't in the place in life we wanted to be yet when we started having kids, but it's working out. Unfortunately it's not working out until the last week of May.
So my parents, who live there now and who I will stay with once I have the baby, are going to be meeting all of these people and touring the hospital. I have one friend who had four natural births at the hospital who recommended her OB and said he was awesome, but I am worried that by the time I arrive in town I'll just get whoever is available at the time and the rest of the stories I hear coming out of the hospital are a little less than ideal for me.
But, we have a few months yet to figure things out. My mom has agreed to meet with the midwife and tour the birth center so we'll see what she says there. And if we do end up in the hospital I know that won't be the end of the world, either. H just said we'd write a note explaining I have no desire to have an epi and to not even ask and stick it to the door.
Maybe that'll work. I know that in many cases they don't take birth plans seriously, but maybe a big sign on the door will be seen and recognized.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
ABSOLUTELY!!!! Does this hospital have midwives on staff? (Could just be my experience, but I've always found that hospitals that have a decent number of midwives on staff tend to be much more NB friendly).
I am having a natural birth in a hospital. I had a nice talk with my OB about it, and she's completely supportive and says that anyone that gives me trouble will be kicked out of the room!
I also hired a doula to help if any crabby hospital staff issues arise when my OB isn't available. I feel with a good support system, I will do just fine in the hospital.
I definitely do not feel comfortable delivering at home. We are too far from the closest hospital in an emergency, and I just feel more at ease knowing that a NICU team is in waiting as I push. You never know what complications may arise, and I feel it's in my baby's best interest to be in a place where complications can be addressed IMMEDIATELY.
Definitely look at the birth center one.
I think what matters a lot more than location (hospital vs. birth center vs. home) is the care provider, their philosophy regarding birth (medical emergency vs. normal part of life), and their willingness to support you. Of course you find more natural birth friendly providers delivering at home or a birth center, but you can find ones that do hospitals too.
I had a hospital birth with a midwife and had 0 fighting (after transferring from an OB at 32 wks that I would have had to fight against constantly). No doula - just my husband and mom for support, who were both on the same page as me. I was able to have a hep lock to get antibiotics for GBS (my choice, which my midwife supported though I could have declined) and for my intermittent monitoring they used a dopler while I stayed in the jacuzzi tub. She was OK with me eating during labor (though I didn't feel like it), supported me in pushing in multiple positions, and was cool with me forgoing the routine pitocin shot after delivery because my uterus was clamping down fine. We did delayed cord clamping and declined Hep B, both with no argument at all. I have no complaints and will definitely do the same for any future children. Don't get hung up on hospitals as bad because not all are.
DS, May 2011
Good for you! Your story sounds a lot like mine BUT I was offered an epi 1,394 times from the moment I entered the hospital. Probably because my hospital had a 98-99% epidural rate too and I was in a LOT of pain so the poor nurses didn't know what else to do but offer me an epi. I don't blame them, they just wanted to calm me down, but instead of offering to have me go in the shower, walk around, get a birthing ball, etc. they just kept offering me an epi. I wasn't as strong as PP above and I DID let the OB break my water (again it was so stupid this was offered) and I did get very hassled about an epi. I REALLY thought I could have a natural birth w/my OB the first time but I see now that I was doomed from the start. They also did constant monitoring which was awful and pretty much nobody was on board w/my "silly" natural birth but me, so that failed. Although I will add that I still had a very good birth and didn't get an epi til I was more than 8 cm dilated (yup they didn't care at all) and I was pushing 30 minutes later.
Anyway for birth #2 I was prepared. My DH was very against a home birth so instead I went for these awesome midwives with hospital privileges at a regular hospital with an Alternative Birth Room. The room is right in the L&D wing but it's a "special" room just for the midwives and their crunchy natural birth moms. The room has a birthing tub and all the natural birth gadgets that were NOT available to me the first around. For example one of the most important things is that they did NOT to constant fetal monitoring so you weren't strapped to a machine the whole time. That made a world of difference. They encouraged me to get into the shower and labor in the shower (this was awesome). They had a birth tub (that I didn't even use) and this little squatting stool that looks like a kid's potty but with no bottom. I ended up birthing on this stool and it was great. I pretty much "pooped" out the baby.
I felt very empowered my 2nd time around because an epi was never mentioned and the MW and nurses were extremely helpful with pain management vs. the nurses the first time around who were distraught I was in so much pain and screaming and kept offering me an epi. Also NO interventions were even offered my 2nd time around and it was a much more calm experience.
So, a natural birth can be done in a hospital setting but you MUST have people's support, including the OB, your partner, AND the nurses. And I would encourage you to go with midwives or an OB who has specifically had experience delivering babies naturally w/out any pain meds. I can pretty much assure you that my first OB had never delivered a natural baby w/no epi.
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