- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 24 Months+
groovygrl
member
anyone's LO wake up in AM screaming & yelling at you?
groovygrl
member
I am strugglign with DD. She has always had a stubborn strong type personality, engages in a lot of power struggles w/ me, goes from one extreme to the other at the drop of a hat...but when I know the trigger I can deal with it. lately, she has been waking out about 50% of mornings literally screaming. She screams my name, then when I come in to get her up for the day she thrashes around, throws things, refuses to get out of bed, spits at me (like the pbbbttttt with her tongue kind not actually 'spitting'), then if I can get her out of bed she will refuse to put on her clothes, throw herself on the floor, etc. It is horrible and I have no clue what triggers it, it happens when she sleeps well and when she is up at some point in the night, if she goes to bed at her usual time or not. I deal with it by leaving the room & letting her have it out for awhile and then going back to ask if she is done, repeat, etc. It is very hard on a weekday when I have to get them to daycare & I have to get to work.
Sometimes she will turn it into a crazy irrational argument- for example, MOMMY! my rapunzel doll is not in my ROOM! (yes it is honey, it is right there on your floor) NO IT'S NOT! (yes, yes it is, see her over there?) NO! (pick up, bring over, she grabs & flings it, IT IS NOT IN HERE!). Stuff like that.
Some days I can remain calm, some days I have to get to work & the 30 min of this insanity in the morning makes my blood boil.
I'm curious if anyone else's kids do this in the morning? She is 3 1/2. I have been dealing with massive tantrums from her for 2 years so not really looking for advice on dealing w/ the tantrums b/c we usually deal pretty well with them and are able to prevent or , but more about what this first thing in the morning thing could be all about.
Today was the only time ever I knew what the origin was- we went out last night and they had a sitter and we both went in to kiss goodnight ( i went in twice) but she didn't wake up. I guess in the future I should wake her up because this morning was nearly an hour of screaming and refusing to get out of bed, coughing, choking noises (usually fake, that is one of her MO's) and yelling at me that we didn't come home last night and me explaining multiple times that we did come home and kissed her but she didn't wake up. After attempting that a few times I threw in the towel & left her to scream for awhile...finally MH was able to get her to stop & let him hold her for awhile.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: anyone's LO wake up in AM screaming & yelling at you?
Our DS around the age of 2.5-3 would wake up in the morning just screaming bloody murder for us. We were so frustrated to wake up every morning like this. He also did it at night if he woke up. It was exhausting and took us forever to get him to calm down and stop or go back to sleep. It was like he woke up pissed off and no matter how many times we talked with him about how it's not ok to wake up and scream he did. It lasted about 9 months and to this day DH and I will talk about that time like it was hell on earth. We asked his Dr. about it and she would say maybe he is over tired, try and cut sugar etc but in the end it just ran it's course, we were miserable and then it passed. He's 5 now and very defiant but sleeps like an angel lol
I hope your DD gets passed it. I defiantly know how frustrating it is. DH and I wanted to strangle DS but like everything else they grow out.
DD(3) doesn't wake up screaming at me, so I can't help you there, but she has done the irrational argument thing, and I deal with it by just refusing to engage with her. So, if she says her doll isn't in her room, I will say, "Yes, it is, it's right over there." If she still insists it's not, I just say, "OK" and continue getting her dressed or whatever else I was doing. No arguing, bringing her the doll, etc. because it's obviously not about her being able to find her doll.
Also, I know you're not looking for advice on dealing with tantrums, but if she's screaming at you before you even get her in the morning, I would go in and say, "Good morning!" in a pleasant voice. If she continues with her other behavior, I'd leave the room right then and there and tell her I'd be back when she's ready to start her day nicely. I wouldn't battle it out by struggling to get her dressed or trying to reason with her if you're going to end up walking out of the room anyways. I know you're in a rush in the morning, so I'd calmly go get breakfast ready or get dressed or whatever while she's having her fit. No arguing with her, no trying to explain or rationalize looking for her doll or whatever.
My DS also went through a screaming/yelling phase when waking up. He would shout at us in the most demanding, rude voice in the morning to get him up. I ended up talking to him about it during a car ride when we were both calm. I told him it hurt my ears to hear him yelling at me in the morning. I modeled how I would like him to call for me and we practiced for a few days. I was totally amazed that it worked. It made me realize how much he actually understands. I now wake up to a singsong "Mommy, I ready" every weekend.
During the week, when I have to wake him up, I started by turning on a dim light in the room. I also putter around his room picking out clothes and rearranging a few items. After he has had a chance to wake out of that initial sleep, I can then I go to rub his back and gently get him up. Sometimes we talk for a few minutes while he is still lying in bed. I found out if I just swooped in, grabbed him up, and started putting clothes on him we would have a huge power struggle. I finally figured that I wouldn't want to be jerked around in the morning either. This takes awhile longer to get ready in the morning, but we are all happier.
Have you thought about one of those toddler alarms that slowly wakes kids up by getting progressively brighter/louder. It is a more gentle way of waking up.