Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
breezelikewind
member
Re: Any words of wisdom for those of us attempting a VBAC?
BTW DD was born at 1145pm Dec 23rd. I never progressed past 4cm.
TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!! Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui)
#1 born December 2011
TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
#2 born May 2013
TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
#3 born August 2015
#4!!!!!!! due June 2017
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
I am very hopeful to VBAC for my next pregnancy.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I so feel for your story and it makes me a little teary. I just wanted to put out there that the midwife practice with the highest vaginal birth rate in my area (note: they are hospital based but have an even lower c-section rate than the next most popular practice that does home births!), strongly advocates that their patients eat low-carb diets with *zero* white sugar and white flour. They swear that the diet, along with 30-60 minutes of walking a day does wonders for otherwise high-risk moms. Their patients say it's really hard to stick to, but this practice does not turn away moms for having GD like many midwife practices do and they have really amazing success rates. So, it might be worth a try and might help keep the GD at bay, or at least make it manageable through diet without insulin. I have my fingers crossed for you!
I second everyone who has said that a supportive provider is absolutely key, but I also wanted to reassure you that even if things don't go as planned and you end up with a RCS, it's not the end of the world even with a toddler. I wanted to VBAC for the same reason you said - I have a toddler at home and didn't want to have the long c/s recovery. However, my uterus started to rupture and I had to have a RCS. I'm now 12 days out, and I can honestly say that everything with DD (22 months) is just fine. I haven't picked her up yet, so DH or MIL/SIL have been with me to help me get her in and out of her crib and high chair, but I either kneel down to give her a hug, or I sit on the floor with her, or I help her climb up on the couch to sit on my lap while we read.
So I totally understand and support your decision for a VBAC attempt, but just wanted to let you know that even if it ends up not working out, things with your DS will be fine! I know that was my biggest worry.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I think an important thing to do for a successful VBAC is to have a very good support network, including your spouse and whoever will be delivering the baby. For a woman's first VBAC, she needs to know everyone is behind her and that she can do it. And she needs to know it herself. I read a ton of VBAC stories, which helped greatly. Seek the birth location that will support you, and I highly recommend a doula experienced in VBACs if you are in the hospital.
As for labor itself, you are right in your thoughts about being tied to the bed.
Remind yourself that you will not have a repeat of what happened before. This birth will be different.
Become as educated as you can about the position of the baby influencing labor. I learned that through reading blogs, birth stories, and talking to people. There are SO MANY c/s that occurred because baby was malpositioned and the care providers didn't have a clue how to help.
My labor was 17 hours with my son, ended in c/s. He was big and posterior, and he might have been able to be born vaginally, but the support and knowledge wasn't there for me to have that happen and get him turned and get me up out of bed to work on it. My VBAC was 2 hours. TWO HOURS! There was no question she was coming out.
Something I have observed a lot is a poor position can lead to weeks of prodromal labor, and once labor actually starts when baby gets situated, it can go very quickly. Spinningbabies.com has good info on positions, and my VBAC baby kept going posterior. The night we got her to turn through rebozo sifting, I went into labor.
Something else to consider is not even going in as soon as your water breaks, unless you're in transition or pushing when that happens. There are certain checks you can do, and my water has always broken early, and I continued to labor at home (granted, second birth was at home anyway). Now, I used midwives who are usually ok with that after asking a few questions (is baby moving, and is the fluid clear or pink) so I'm sure OB's standard protocol is you COME IN when your water breaks no matter what, if you call them.
However, something else to consider is your labor might move along very well once your water breaks that it'd be a good time anyway.
So, say your water breaks first, to start labor, before you have any contractions. You don't want to go in just yet, and you may not want to call quite yet until you get a good pattern down, and you could conveniently forget what time your water broke.
I'd become familiar with what you need to check (ie no cord coming out, baby is moving and water is pink or clear, have a pad close by so you can catch some and examine it) so that you can labor at home until you're in active labor.
After my water broke with my second child (home birth), I put on a depends from the small pack I bought for post partum, and didn't have to worry about leaking while I labored. She was born about two hours after my water broke.
And, I just want to add, based on your first birth, I think you can absolutely have confidence that this birth will be a vaginal birth. Not only that, your attitude about achieving it and your interest in educating yourself about how to get there is an exceptional tool for you to have for success.