April 2013 Moms

Push Gift

So today at work someone asked me what I was asking for for a Push Gift?

I said, "A what???"
She was like, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A PUSH GIFT IS?!?"

Anyways, she proceeded to tell me that it is a gift your SO gets you when you 'push' out the baby.
Her friends have asked for diamond earings, massages, etc.

I guess I live in a black hole because I have never heard of this! I just can't picture myself telling SO to get me something..

Don't get me wrong, we as women are essentially giving the 'gift of life'...and if he decides to get me something on his own that would be very sweet and everything, but all I really want is for him to just be supportive and present throughout the whole process. ...(Which includes going to the hypnobirthing classes I signed up for and taking them seriously)... I feel like we do everything pretty equally in our relationship and I just never expected a gift for it. Our baby girl will be plenty!

LOL Can you honestly picture someone, though, 'pushing' out the baby and then looking at her husband and being like "OK, I'll take those diamond earings now. Oh, the baby, no that's ok, let me see those earrings first." I know, I know, thats a little extreme. But it kinda makes me laugh.

Thoughts???

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Re: Push Gift

  • I'm not a big fan of the term "push present" and I also think its a little tacky to expect or ask for a specific gift for pushing out your own baby. However, I do think it is sweet when the husband gets his wife something thoughtful, sweet and unexpected regardless of the price. I think its just a way of saying; "I love you - thank you for making me so happy". To me it doesn't make a difference whether its a nice handwritten card or an expensive piece of jewelry. FIL got MIL a beautiful ring when DH was born. She still wears it every day, 29 years later and it always reminds her of that special day.
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  • The baby is my push present....and maybe sushi for my first meal :)
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  • Jeesh. If women get these fancy things for pushing out a baby, I wonder what I will demand of DH for my "I just got cut open" gift. Haha kidding.

    I think they're stupid. All I want from DH is smiles and seeing the love in his eyes for our little girls
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  • I think "push presents" are ridiculous.  You are both getting the gift of a new baby, and really, nothing can top that.  I would feel like an a-hole expecting anything more.

    I, of course, appreciate random flowers/gifts/compliments from my DH, but would never expect a present for pushing out a child that we both wanted so badly to concieve.

  • imagevaness1229:
    I'm not a big fan of the term "push present" and I also think its a little tacky to expect or ask for a specific gift for pushing out your own baby. However, I do think it is sweet when the husband gets his wife something thoughtful, sweet and unexpected regardless of the price. I think its just a way of saying; "I love you - thank you for making me so happy". To me it doesn't make a difference whether its a nice handwritten card or an expensive piece of jewelry. FIL got MIL a beautiful ring when DH was born. She still wears it every day, 29 years later and it always reminds her of that special day.
     

    Aww yes, see that's very sweet!!

    It was just the pretense that it was introduced to me under, as asking for something. If you have to ask it kind of takes away from some of the special-ness I think..

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  • I haven't heard of this until recently.. and only online.  Nobody I know has received a special gift for pushing out a baby!  I think having my husband there for me to help out while I recover is enough of a present for me.  I can't believe anyone would ask for a gift or expect one.
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  • I had heard of this but never called "push present," more of a new mom present.  I don't think it is mandatory or that it is something you should even tell your hubby to get.  I think it should be a surprise if he decides to get something. 

     

    Lol I have friends (much better off financially than me) get expensive jewelry.  I told my hubby that he can get me subway (which I gave up for the pregnancy) as my gift and I would be super stoked!!!

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  • I think this is ridiculous. DH will be there every step of the way supporting me and the baby through labor and that is all I would ever ask. Not to mention why waste money on me when we could buy something for the person whose birthday it is? Nonsense.
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  • HAHAHHA PUSH PRESENTS...

    I had not heard of them until I joined TB... and one day as I started laughing about them at work, a girl I worked with BLEW UP and told me how mad she was that her PARENTS did not get her a push present...???

    Let me remind you, this is the girl I complain about often. She got knocked up in high school, did not know who the father of the baby was until paternity test on 2 guys showed which it was... Lives with her parents and pays no bills, buys herself fugly expensive clothes, but then complains that her son (who is now 1 and 1/2) doesn't have any winter clothes and asks co-workers for hand-me-downs from their kids. (I don't have a problem with kids wearing hand-me-downs, but to ask for them is tacky. ESPECIALLY when you brag about the new whatever you just bought yourself)

    So since she didn't know who the BD was, she EXPECTED her PARENTS to buy her a push present??? HAHAHAHA!!!!

    I thought they were stupid ever since I heard about them, and then she came along and put an even worse taste in my mouth.

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  • Oh yes, this has been a hot topic in my household.  A friend brought it up and DH was appaled by it.  We talked about it for a while and I explained my positioning as this: YES the baby is by far the most rewarding thing that you could ever received, there is no question about that and I will be overjoyed when my little girl is here.  But you have to admit that women go through a lot during pregnancy; morning sickness, giving up their body/alcohol/certain foods/sleep, feeling like a normal human being, etc.  Then pushing out the baby and/or getting cut up isn't exactly pleasant.  Having your SO be supportive is great, but having them awknowledge all you've done to help your LO get here healthy and safe is a nice gesture.  And not all guys happen to think about that.

    Most of my friends that have gotten a "push present" (about half) it has been things like a necklace with LO's initial, a name brand diaper bag she really wanted, or something along those lines.  It can be anything!  In the end DH saw where I was coming from and agreed, the name gives it a bad rap. 

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  • I think "push" presents are tacky. I have already been demanding my "first meal" though. A footlong subway turkey on wheat with all the veggies and sweet onion sauce! There is a subway in the hospital cafeteria and it just sounds so good.
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  • MH has been saving money to buy me something which I think is really sweet but I would never expect or ask for anything from him like that. Except, like pp mentioned, a meal. Ha!

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  • Well, I do hate the term "push present".  But my grandpa gave my grandma a cameo ring when my dad was born in 1944 and she gave me that ring when I was a teenager.  My dad died at Christmas last year and that ring means a lot to me.  I would never ever refer to it by anything other than a special gift.  H had me pick out a ring for him to give me when this LO is born and I chose one that has both LO and DD's birthstones in it (blue topaz and diamond).  But, it's just a special gift to celebrate my children as I will not have any more after this one.  I would never have expected or demanded a gift, but because it is somewhat of a family tradition in my family, it was very nice of H to want to carry that on.
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  • It is very common and it makes me want to gag. I  hate the term, i hate the idea of it, I hate the expectation, I hate the bragging, I hate all of it.

     

    If my husband wants to wake up and buy me a present, great.  But I dont' expect one, and I'd CERTAINLY never call it anything as nauseating as a "push present."  Ick.

     

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  • imageBabyBPlus3:

    I think "push presents" are ridiculous.  You are both getting the gift of a new baby, and really, nothing can top that.  I would feel like an a-hole expecting anything more.

    I, of course, appreciate random flowers/gifts/compliments from my DH, but would never expect a present for pushing out a child that we both wanted so badly to concieve.

     

    This exactly! 

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  • I have never gotten one nor have I ever wanted one for all of the reasons that PPs have mentioned...the baby is a gift, I would rather use the money for our family,, we have joint bank accounts so its like buying a present for myself, etc.

    And if anyone deserves a gift it was my DH for all that he did throughout my pregnancies and labors and deliveries. He never left my side for a moment...not to go to the bathroom, not to eat. I don't know what I would have done without him.

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  • I hadn't heard of it either before joining this site. Pretty ridiculous. My SO's bday is April 11th and my due date is the 14th, if anybody is getting anyone anything I owe him something. Ofcourse he says he just wants a happy, healthy baby.
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  • In the gift shop at the hospital there is a big plush ball shaped giraffe with big purple sparkley eyes. Every time I go there for tests my eyes can't remove themselves from the stuffed animal. I am intranced by the cute eyes!! I told my fiancee that is what I want for a push present. It is just too fluffy!! lol he keeps covering my eyes from it hahaha We joke that if he gets it for me I'll end up forgetting to take the baby home and only remember the giraffe bahahaha Oh What ever!!!

  • I guess i don't get why people are so against them. I don't think I'm getting anything, but I might be. Either way is fine for me, we've spent plenty in prep for this little guy. Plus I don't need more than my son.  I'm not one to care about how others spend their money. If its in the budget, why not? Is it just the name? 
  • My DH bought me a beautiful pair of earrings after we had DD.  I actually bought him cufflinks with her initials (later I added her birthdate).  They were mementos for us of a very special day.  I didn't expect anything and I know DH didn't either.  We don't spend much money on ourselves so I think it was a way for both of us to she each other how much we appreciated the other for this beautiful person we just welcomed into our lives.
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  • The debate over the name can be unfair. I think the term was supposed to be more than a little tongue-in-cheek. That may have backfired because all anyone ever says is that it's absurd it's a gift for 'pushing out a baby.' What is for sure though, the gift should be symbolic for all pregnancies.
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