Kids not excited when Daddy comes home

echowysp2 · February 2013

Not sure what's going on, but suddenly, my kids aren't very excited when dad comes home, which is hurting his feelings, I suspect. They used to run up and give him big hugs and kisses, but lately, they'd rather keep doing what they are doing and my urging them to say hi is met with resistance (which I know is normal for this age).

Only reason I'm concerned about it is dh seems sad about it. He's been having a tough time at work and with the winter weather blues, so him coming home to kids who don't seem to care (my 4 year old warms up in a while, my 2 year old dd is more of a mama's girl) doesn't do his mood any good. Dinner has become of a bit of a fight with them too lately.

I swear, it's the winter blues for all of us...lol.

ryry1977 · February 2013

This was happening with my DH for awhile and I just had him have play time when he got home. As soon as he walks in the door it is 15 minutes of daddy funtime At first it was just tickle fights, blowing raspberries, "rough play", ect. Now they will play hide-in-seek, go out in the snow, walk to the nearby playground, whatever. All it took was that 15 minutes a day to get them excited again.

I'm sure that they would outgrow that phase quickly, but this way I go 15 minutes of free time to myself!

echowysp2 · February 2013

ryry1977:
This was happening with my DH for awhile and I just had him have play time when he got home. As soon as he walks in the door it is 15 minutes of daddy funtime At first it was just tickle fights, blowing raspberries, "rough play", ect. Now they will play hide-in-seek, go out in the snow, walk to the nearby playground, whatever. All it took was that 15 minutes a day to get them excited again.
I'm sure that they would outgrow that phase quickly, but this way I go 15 minutes of free time to myself!

Good idea. Things have been a bit rushed lately because of his work and usually we go straight to dinner when he gets home, so I'll suggest he give that a try.

KathrynMD · February 2013

DD does this to me sometimes. I just ignore it and talk to DH or do my own thing.

90% of the time she comes around in a minute or two.

echowysp2 · February 2013

lasposa425:
Are you excited when Daddy comes home? If not, I would maybe try being extra happy when you see your DH walk through the door (if you're home when he arrives) and maybe they'll share your enthusiasm

I do that, but it's met with barely a glance up from the toy/book/tv. It's like a one-handed high five...lol.

echowysp2 · February 2013

KathrynMD:
DD does this to me sometimes. I just ignore it and talk to DH or do my own thing.

90% of the time she comes around in a minute or two.

This is what I hope dh would do, but his current mood lately makes him feel hurt when they don't give him love. I think once his work situation improves, he will be able to let it roll off of his back more.

KathrynMD · February 2013

echowysp2:
KathrynMD:

DD does this to me sometimes. I just ignore it and talk to DH or do my own thing.

90% of the time she comes around in a minute or two.

This is what I hope dh would do, but his current mood lately makes him feel hurt when they don't give him love. I think once his work situation improves, he will be able to let it roll off of his back more.

I know what your saying and my husband (and me too) get our feelings hurt by LO but its not really fair to the kids to put your own insecurities on them, you know?

Brooke81 · February 2013

does your DH come home at pretty much the same time every day? If so could you prepare them for him getting home. Like daddy will be home in 5 minutes what should we do with him when he gets here? What would you like to show him when he comes home? Maybe turn off the TV 15 minutes be fore you expect him home, tv can be hard to compete with.

I assume you DH acts really excited to see them?

I am sure it is just a fase that will blow over but maybe this will help in the meantime.

honeybee111 · February 2013

DD went through a phase like this. She's over it now and runs screaming, "Daddy's home!" to DH now and gives him a big hug. What helped was that DH would ask her to "help" him put away his wallet, empty the change in his pockets, take off his work badge(which she likes because it's on a lanyard), etc. Then, he would play with her for 10 min. or so before doing his own thing. I never urged her to say hi, but I would make a big deal of stopping what I was doing to give DH a hug/kiss. And if DD wasn't in the mood, we didn't force it.

VTbride05 · February 2013

My kids have gone through this phase too and DH hates it. I try not to play it up too much with DH gets home. The more I build them up the more they knock the excitement down. And we also have daddy playtime as soon as he gets home.

Emilia0101 · February 2013

My DD had a phase like this. My husband got his feelings hurt as well. I really think like others have said, dad coming home meant playtime was over, dinner was ready, and bedtime was around the corner. I tried to work on my own emotions as well (it is hard at the end of the day). It passes. Hang in there.

echowysp2 · February 2013

fredalina:
echowysp2:
ryry1977:
This was happening with my DH for awhile and I just had him have play time when he got home. As soon as he walks in the door it is 15 minutes of daddy funtime At first it was just tickle fights, blowing raspberries, "rough play", ect. Now they will play hide-in-seek, go out in the snow, walk to the nearby playground, whatever. All it took was that 15 minutes a day to get them excited again.
I'm sure that they would outgrow that phase quickly, but this way I go 15 minutes of free time to myself!
Good idea. Things have been a bit rushed lately because of his work and usually we go straight to dinner when he gets home, so I'll suggest he give that a try.
So before daddy gets home, they are coloring, playing with toys, watching tv, etc, and after he comes home the fun stops and they sit still for dinner where they don't want to eat and are giving you a hard time and therefore maybe getting fussed at? And after dinner I'm guessing the bedtime routine usually starts pretty soon? And daddy is sullen and moody, too? I wouldn't be thrilled either lol. Yeah, I think 15 minutes of playtime sounds like an awesome transition time while you finish dinner.

Well, it's not as grim as you described...lol. Usually, dad comes home and goes to play with them a bit. We have dinner and then there's a couple of hours before bed, so dinner is a just a pause in their playing. I am just baffled because the ignoring has only started recently.

I wouldn't say that he's in a sullen mood, but as his wife, I know he's stress at work, so a bit more sensitive to this slight, kwim?

echowysp2 · February 2013

honeybee111:
DD went through a phase like this. She's over it now and runs screaming, "Daddy's home!" to DH now and gives him a big hug. What helped was that DH would ask her to "help" him put away his wallet, empty the change in his pockets, take off his work badge(which she likes because it's on a lanyard), etc. Then, he would play with her for 10 min. or so before doing his own thing. I never urged her to say hi, but I would make a big deal of stopping what I was doing to give DH a hug/kiss. And if DD wasn't in the mood, we didn't force it.

I like the idea of them helping him. And I need to back off a bit and not force the issue.

echowysp2 · February 2013

-auntie-:
echowysp2:
KathrynMD:

DD does this to me sometimes. I just ignore it and talk to DH or do my own thing.

90% of the time she comes around in a minute or two.

This is what I hope dh would do, but his current mood lately makes him feel hurt when they don't give him love. I think once his work situation improves, he will be able to let it roll off of his back more.

He's not cranky. Just a bit sensitive lately.

I'm sorry he's down. But maybe the stink of his mood is what's turning off the kids.

At any rate, it's not their responsibility to treat your husband's moods. If he's cranky a dinner, maybe you should give him a cooling down period before eating. Perhaps even feed the kids first and share some adult convo first.

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