Throwing in the towel

halvorsonl00 · February 2013

Warning: this is another sleep post.

I am so frustrated with naps, I don't know what to do! We are on day 5 of Ferber for naps. Day 1 and 2 were pretty good, the last 3 days have been torture for both of us. She has a cold, so between that and the crying/screaming, her voice is hoarse. It is the saddest most pathetic cry.

I gave in yesterday afternoon and rocked her to sleep. I put here in the swing, but then moved her to her crib right after because I have been avoiding that. Where is she now? The swing. She screamed for 45 mins before I gave in.

Do I take a break and try again? Do I try something else? What else is out there? Whats working? I'm just at a loss. I would love to get her out of the swing/bouncer.

Help!!!!

bigbootyjudi · February 2013

This is exactly what happened to us. I'm probably going to tell you some things you don't want to hear and maybe I'll end up recapping what you already know about our nap situation, but here you go:

I attempted to Ferber Gio at 4 months for naps and sleep at the same time. It ended in one entire day of screaming. I went to the Parenting board for advice and they told me that naps and nighttime sleep at the same time were probably too much for him. So, we waited.

We Ferbered Gio at night at 5 months. It went smoothly. By night 5, he was putting himself to bed. We were holding him for naps at this point.

After two weeks of him putting himself to sleep, we started to Ferber for naps. It didn't go well. He screamed the entire hour we were supposed to give him to CIO with check-ins and would scream the entire next nap too. It ended up being three days of him sleeping for 45 minutes TOTAL all day (for naps). SO ended the process on day four because he said he just couldn't do it anymore. During these four days, he was still putting himself to sleep at night without a peep.

So, I read, and read, and read. I googled every single possible thing you could ever google and came to one conclusion: me checking in on him was just pissing him off even more. So, we made the (hard) decision to just do straight CIO, without check-ins.

It's day three and he cries for a maximum of 15 minutes. All sleep is in his crib. If he gets really hysterical and I know he just needs his pacifier and can't reach it, I'll go in and pop it in his mouth, but I don't speak to him and I don't stay in there. I pop it in his mouth and leave right away, sometimes turn on his seahorse, and he'll go right to sleep. We give him an hour to cry, which he's never needed. We put him to bed after 2.25 hours of awake time or whenever he seems tired.

If he wakes up at night, we follow Ferber and check in every 15 minutes. Night and nap sleep are two completely different things.

The key to all of this is CONSISTENCY. I know it sucks to hear your baby cry, but if you pick her up, you just wasted three days, KWIM? I'd probably wait until she's over her cold because I'm sure that's just making her want to be held more.

Sorry this was long!

AmySmolos · February 2013

I'm a huge softy and a FTM so that is my disclaimer. But I don't think it's wrong to take a break and try again especially since she had a cold. Also I'm big on gradual change cause I'm such a sucker but my ds napped in our arms. We transitioned him to our bed with us napping too, but we wouldnt hold him so he cried with us right there.then we would leave him on our bed to fuss it out, then we moved to the crib. It was a longer transition but he now goes down for naps with no fussing most of the time! Is there a way to slowly transition from the swing? My ds hated the swing so I'm not familiar with all that but maybe you can think of something. Good luck!

JulySpark05 · February 2013

Babies aren't themselves (just like us adults) and need extra comfort when they are sick so I wouldn't do ferber while your little one is sick with a cold.

halvorsonl00 · February 2013

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Especially since this was yet another sleep post.

Im thinking a large part of this is the cold. She has her 6 mo check up this afternoon, so we'll see if there is anything going on with her. Otherwise I think I'm going to let her get over the cold and try again.

Bbj, I've been stalking all of your sleep posts, so thank you. I think going in and helping her at check-in times is making it worse. That might be something we have to try if that is the case.

ccam · February 2013

I would give it another try when she feels 100%. She doesn't feel good so I'd let her sleep however she will!

piphigirl · February 2013

Pick something and just be super, super consistent about it. She will get it eventually!

If you like the swing for naps, that is great! Put the swing somewhere super dark (use blackout curtains, foil, cardboard, or heavy blankets.) Swaddle and turn up the white noise, then put the swing on a high setting. These are all "sleep props," of course, but they are weanable: you can gradually, over time, lighten the room, turn down the white noise, loosen the swaddle and do one arm out, then two, and slow down the swing. You could wean one thing at a time, with the swing last, and then move to the crib.

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