I'm at a complete loss--any advice appreciated! (long)

poebride · February 2013

My almost 3 year old daughter is witholding poop. She's been doing this since she learned how to stand and sqeeze her buttcheeks together (so--a long time). Pooping has always been an issue with her, and she's seen a pediatric GI since she was a few months old. She's has been on stool softeners for a long time too. She is not constipated--whenever she does poop, her BMs are perfectly soft, though they will be big if she's held it in for awhile. She just simply does not like to poop. She'll have long periods of time when she'll poop daily without a problem--then all of a sudden she'll decide that she doesn't want to go.

So we started potty training her last week and she has been doing fantastic with pee--hardly any accidents at all and she doesn't need to be prompted to go. But she will not poop. She has pooped twice on the potty with a lot of fear and crying. She pooped once in the tub after her bath (with a lot of fear and crying). She's pooped twice in her nap diaper and last night she pooped in her diaper before she fell asleep. She'll tell us she had to poop and will sit on the potty, but then she just shuts it down and doesn't go. She'll do this all day long--every 10 minutes or so. It's driving us bananas. She can't even enjoy playing because she's running to the potty so often. And as the day progresses and she still hasn't pooped, her behavior starts getting worse and worse. I don't know what to do to help her. Has anyone had any similar experience? I would appreciate any advice. Thanks!

wedsept · February 2013

We had the same problem with our DD. It was identical with what your DD was doing, except we didn't use diapers. She had problems with constipation, so she has been on Miralax for almost one year. Our pedi told us that she is afraid to go because she associates it with past pain. We started rewarding her (with big rewards) every time she pooped in the potty. Her condition got so bad though that rewards generally weren't working She wouldn't poop for 4-5 days. I started freaking out that something bad was going to happen with her health. At one point, she had a fever of 101.5 because she hadn't pooped for days. So, I hate to say it, but I threatened her (with a true threat). I told her that I would have to take her to the hospital and the way they would treat her would hurt, if she didn't poop. Honestly, I was on the verge of taking her to the hospital and I know what the hospital would do would hurt. That threat finally worked.

aglenn · February 2013

My DD does the same thing. Our pedi said to load her up on Miralax, fiber, and lots of water which will make it more difficult to hold. She gets a full capful of Miralax every morning now (she was previously taking about a third of a capful for constipation, which was enough to soften but she could still hold it). She gets a fiber gummy at breakfast and another at dinner, and as much water and real fiber as I can possibly get into her diet. This keeps things moving and she is getting over her fear of pooping. I am hoping to be able to cut back on the Miralax eventually, but we're giving it some time for now. And, incidentally, she feels much better and is less fussy/tantrumy now that her belly is cleaned out. Good luck!

lilles · February 2013

You can get her the book It hurts when I poop. You can also try seating with her when she goes to the potty. My LO had the same issue and finally started going on the potty when I would seat directly in front of her and sort of hug her while she went. I know it is not ideal but I didn't want her to be in pain/afraid anymore.

NewlyWeds13 · February 2013

My son will not poop on the potty either... he asks for a diaper. If I don't give him one, he will also hold it. I was told that some kids just do this with pooping.

I am interested in learning what others are doing about this.

olechka · February 2013

We went through a lot of poop drama when we started potty training. Bribing with prizes, hugging her while she sits/goes and cartoons worked; cartoons distracted her so she relaxed and let it go. We also went through the bathtub stage, she pooped several times in there and was histerical. Gradually she started to tell me right before she started going (and water helps relax) and i yanked her out of the tub onto the potty with a few accidents in the tub . Now she asks for her cartoon on the ipad and goes herself on the potty.

good luck!

yodasmistress · February 2013

lilles:
You can get her the book It hurts when I poop. You can also try seating with her when she goes to the potty. My LO had the same issue and finally started going on the potty when I would seat directly in front of her and sort of hug her while she went. I know it is not ideal but I didn't want her to be in pain/afraid anymore.

My son hates pooping. He doesn't say it "hurts' but he does say it is "hard". He is fairly regular, generally going about once a day. But he doesn't like it. At all. And I generally have to sit in front of him and hold his hand(s) while he does it.

AmericanInOz · February 2013

my dd was similar with pting

when that did happen I made sure to increase her fiber intake, and decrease things that block her up (like oats, bannana, cheese) until it was 'cleared'

I upped the reward for #2 to a little chocolate santa, and when she did eventually go (even if it was tiny) we did a dance and clapped and sang about how awesome it was.

We also got a few books like 'everybody poops' and read them a lot and talked about how it was a good thing

it took her a couple of weeks, but eventually she just 'clicked' with it

we are a good 2 months in now, and now and then I have to do the above (fiber,etc) but it's much better than it was (only does it now because she doesn't want to ask at daycare for help to wipe with #2....)

anyhow, just hold in there - remain positive and she will get it!!!

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I'm at a complete loss--any advice appreciated! (long)

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