Success after IF

Sooner or Later? When do to a FET

I just had my cycle return after having Maren in November and I'm already starting to try and plan out when to do a FET.  We have one frozen embryo that we want to transfer.  Ideally, I think I'd like to wait until Maren is a year and a half, so the summer of 2014.  However, waiting that long puts me at age 42 at the time of transfer and if I were to get pregnant I'd be 43 when I had the baby.

Although I would like to wait, the argument for doing the FET sooner is how hard my pregnancies have been on me.  This last one was especially tiring, physically painful, I was close to having GD and developed high blood pressure towards the end and delivered three weeks early.  I'm concerned that the older I am the more at risk I will be for things like GD and Pre-e.  But, is there really that much difference between 42 and 43?  Same with how long the embryo has been frozen, does one more year matter as we're already past five years right now?

The argument for waiting is I don't know how I would handle 3 under 3 along with two older kids.  Holy kids!

One other consideration is that I'm not sure how I'll feel if the FET doesn't work or if it ends in another miscarriage.  Will I be devastated and want to be as "young" as possible so we could try on our own if we want or is that stupid to think I'd get pregnant on my own at 42 or 43?

Clearly, I'm just babbling now so I'll stop and keep pondering..........

Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

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Re: Sooner or Later? When do to a FET

  • Could you reverse it and try on your own until you're ready for the FET? I understand if the answer is no because you want to give your embie a shot first.
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  • *Thud*  - that was me falling on the ground thinking about having 5 kids Wink 

    If I were you I would probably give my body 6-9 months to heal from giving birth and do the FET.  I would just want to 'get it overwith' for lack of a better phrase and not be pregnant at 43.  I know you know that risks go up with age, and for that reason alone I wouldn't want to wait.       

    With that said though, my (annoying) fertile myrtle in laws got preggo on there own (not planned!) and had a child at ages 44 and 45 after a completely uneventful pregnancy that went overdue followed by a speedy fast labor and delivery of a healthy, perfect little boy who is now 9 years old!  Obviously everyone is different, but just because you'd be 43 doesn't necessarily mean you'll develop complications. 

    I know that wasn't much help, but I say get 'er done, Momma!   

    *My Loves, My Life, My Littles*

    02/18/11, 05/24/12 and 12/03/13



  • I agree with the pp about giving your body some time to recover, especially since the pregnancy was so hard on you. I would be most concerned about trying to take care of a young toddler if you did end up with another difficult pregnancy. But obviously this is a decision only you and YH can make after consulting with your OB or midwife.


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  • I think you could put forth a great argument for doing it sooner or waiting a year.  If I had a difficult pregnancy then I would elect to do it sooner & if it was unsuccessful It would give you more time to TTC on your own.  GL with your decision.
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  • Could you split the difference?

    A couple of thoughts- 

    First, is your BP back to what it was before the pregnancy?  I had severe pre-e--my little one developed IUGR from it and I was on hospital bedrest and then home bedrest for the last month or so of my pregnancy.  At any rate, my BP (last time I had it checked) STILL was not back to what it was before the pregnancy.  I would not even consider a pregnancy until that was cleared up.

    Also, one thing to think about is that having babies close together is a huge risk factor for pre-e. I actually think it is probably a bigger risk factor than age.  Personally, I would wait at least until your current LO is a year before doing to FET or starting to TTC.  I don't think waiting an extra 6 months is going to have a dramatic effect on your fertility (unless you are bordering on POF as it stands) or make a pregnancy riskier, but I do think it could help to have that extra time for your body to heal. 

    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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  • imageRoseHQ12:
    I think you could put forth a great argument for doing it sooner or waiting a year.nbsp; If I had a difficult pregnancy then I would elect to do it sooner amp; if it was unsuccessful It would give you more time to TTC on your own.nbsp; GL with your decision.

    This! We have 1 embryo left and want to transfer that sooner than later so of it doesn't work we will ttc on our own for about a year and then just be completely done.
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  • I understand your concern, it sucks that our age puts us under so much stress and what-ifs. That being said I would wait til 18 mo, or 12 mo at the very least. But I don't think I could ever do 2u2, and I'm a SAHM.

    I think it is entirely possible to have a child at 42-43, but the ones I know who have already had several children, like you, but unlike you they didn't struggle with any of them. But considering you did have one surprise I guess anything is possible for you. :)

    Married 9-4-04

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  • imageSaraevh:

    *Thud*  - that was me falling on the ground thinking about having 5 kids Wink 

    Ditto!  Plus the thought of 3 under 3.  OY!

    I don't think it will matter if you wait one year as far as your age.  Also, giving your body a little break might not be a bad idea.  What does your OB think?

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  • My RE won't do an FET until 3 months post weaning.  I believe this is reasonably common.  I'm not sure if that is relevant in your decision making timeline or not. 
     
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