Time for the Talk!

aimee413 · February 2013

Ok so FTM this might be a little early for you. But STM..... when do you talk to your LO about their privates and strangers etc.

I was talking to my son tonight about it and I thought I would start a discussion about it.
My son is 6yo and we talk about occasionally. The first time was when he was around 2. I explained to him what privates are and who is aloud to see them and touch them. I have even made it clear that there are things i am not aloud to do or dad or the dr or other family members since its not always strangers that you have to worry about. I have also told him that if anything ever happened that he would never be in trouble and to tell me. Well now he is in school so our talk tonight went even further. I explained that girls have private areas too and he is not aloud to see or touch them either. And if anyone tells him to do it I want to know about it. I feel that if we revisit this conversation every so often then it wouldn't be so uncomfortable god forbid it ever needed to be a real conversation.
I don't know...some of you might think I am too cautious but I think this is very important. Today boys AND girls are not safe. Some stories I hear on the news makes me sick and brings tears to my eyes. I don't know what I would do if someone hurt my children.

BabyMakes 3 · February 2013

No, I think it's smart and wonderful to have communication with your son. Unfortunately, you cannot be too careful.

Rickmond4 · February 2013

I think it is okay to have the talk. I talked to my kids who are 13 and 8 when they started PreK. I will do the same for my little one.

Explain to them that it can also come from other kids as well. My son had a student in his class who was 6 touching other little boys in the class. So the good touch and bad touch talk is never too early.

sara785 · February 2013

DH and I were discussing this the other night. His friend is a police officer in the sex crimes division. He told us to make sure we teach the kids the real terms for their privates; not to call them cutsie nicknames. If something ever happened to them and they had to testify, nicknames could technically be referring to any part of the body.

jLeigh0709 · February 2013

sara785:
DH and I were discussing this the other night. His friend is a police officer in the sex crimes division. He told us to make sure we teach the kids the real terms for their privates; not to call them cutsie nicknames. If something ever happened to them and they had to testify, nicknames could technically be referring to any part of the body.

This school of thought was also promoted when I studied early childhood ed. They taught us to teach children around preschool age what their private parts are called, the difference between okay and not okay touches, and that they have rights over their own body.

The newest theories are that a child should be taught that they don't have to give touches if they don't want to. This is a sensitive topic especially with the grandparents. For instance, if a child doesn't want to give grandma a hug we shouldn't say, "Don't you love grandma? You need to give grandma a hug!" This is sending mixed messages to the child that they have to give a hug, kiss, etc whenever they are asked or told to. We should give the child the option of giving grandma, or whoever, a hug and if they refuse don't try to push or bribe them into doing so. That way they learn that we respect their rights over their own bodies and they feel empowered to say no if they feel uncomfortable. An important skill to prevent any type of abuse.

It's a touchy topic, but so important these days.

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