ugh!

lvnlife3184 · February 2013

SD (7) tells DH and myself last night while reading to us that BM has a new rule at her house. She's only allowed to read 5 books in a night.

WHAT???

SD is 7 and loves to read. She reads aloud to us and we write in her folder for school so the books are accounted for and they get prices and things for so many books. why would you limit your child to 5 books a night if she can/wants to read more??

cole2144 · February 2013

Maybe BM said 5 at bedtime. SD may be trying to put off bedtime by asking to read more books. DH should ask BM.

mom2one · February 2013

cole2144:
Maybe BM said 5 at bedtime. SD may be trying to put off bedtime by asking to read more books. DH should ask BM.

Or maybe SD is reading to avoid doing other things?

lvnlife3184 · February 2013

ha! we can't ask BM anything. she's a control freak who is very rude and disrespectful towards DH. we keep to ourselves and when SD and SS tell us things we try to make sure we do the best for them at our house by listening to what they want and need.

we honestly get the impression often that things are very strange at bm's but thats her house....not ours. i just hate seeing SD upset over something like that.

cole2144 · February 2013

lvnlife3184:
ha! we can't ask BM anything. she's a control freak who is very rude and disrespectful towards DH. we keep to ourselves and when SD and SS tell us things we try to make sure we do the best for them at our house by listening to what they want and need.

we honestly get the impression often that things are very strange at bm's but thats her house....not ours. i just hate seeing SD upset over something like that.

I know how that goes but I would still try to talk to her.

Karma1969 · February 2013

Maybe the Mom will only read her 5 books a night? Maybe she only gets to read 5 books and then it's bedtime? Maybe the Mom wants her to do arts and crafts or math.

Too many variables that are unknown for you to assume the worst at this point.

dmndsr4eva · February 2013

I don't understand why this would be and issue or concern you. At bedtime I limit my son's amount of books because he needs to get to bed. Between our whole bed time rountine we don't have an unlimited time frame to read books. My son would read books all night to avoid going to bed. I'm assuming that is what your SD is talking about.

Ilumine · February 2013

Unless you have other examples of "d'afuque" I have a hard time getting worked up over this.

Why? Because I have a 4 book a night rule. If not, I would be reading every book we had in the house before bed. And not always because DD wants to actually read every book (my DD loves to read too) but because she doesnt want to go to bed or because she wants to stay in my bed or whatever.

katie_cj · February 2013

Starting at 715pm, we have a two book rule. Mainly because it takes forever to just read one book and we would never get DS to bed otherwise.

Doesn't seem crazy to me at all.

SimpleJane · February 2013

I agree with PP. You seem to be getting worked up over nothing. There are lots of reasons to limit reading time. It's bedtime, dinner time, brushing teeth time, cleaning up from dinner, picking up toys. I certainly don't have time to read even five books a night to my kids. By the time we get home, eat, do homework, bath/teeth/pjs, there isn't much time leftover!

Annplus1 · February 2013

I love to read, always have. And my "intact family parents" limited my reading, at bed time or otherwise because that's all I would do if given the opportunity. I would hole up and read instead of riding a bike, hanging out with friends, anything. Limiting my reading was to encourage me to get out and do other things. It was to benefit me.

This may sound snarky, and I don't mean it that way. But if the BM senses you are judging her household- which I am getting the impression of, so I imagine she is- she might not respond to questions well. Could your DH talk about it in a joking manner? As in, Man our DD loves to read! I heard you limited her to 5 books a day? Is that working? Is it at bed time? Vs, Why did you limit our DD to 5 books? Why would you do that?

nattyncbride · February 2013

I just want to add the same as most PPs: my almost 3 year-old has a 2 book limit at bedtime. From time to time, he will tell me his dad lets him read as many as he wants. He might be exaggerating or outright lying, his dad might start bedtime earlier allowing for more books, his dad might let him stay up later. I have never really asked b/c I don't think it's bad he's reading more at his dad's (at least at bedtime) and I don't feel bad that he can't have more than 2 books at my place. However, if you were to just judge me by the 2 book rule, it could be skewed negatively.

Try to think positive. It's WONDERFUL your SD loves to read!!! It's also wonderful that you foster this activity. If your DH is concerned, he can ask, even if it's fruitless. I'm glad you are a SM that is taking interest in your SD, that's great.

awesomenus1341 · February 2013

Gonna have to agree with PP on this one. We read one bedtime story at home (it's a long one) because otherwise SS would put off going to bed all night to read stories. He is allowed to "read" as much as he wants during the day (he is 4). When I was a kid, I was obsessed with books (still am), I know my mom made rules about when, where, and for how long I could read books because I wouldn't participate in the rest of the "family activities" if I had a choice to read my book instead. I am all about kids reading, frequently, and in multitude, but there is a time and place, and you don't really have the full story here.

ambrvan · February 2013

I was an avid reader as a child, but it got so extreme thatbI was refusing to do schoolwork to read personal books. Getting back up to read after parents had gone to bed, sometimes not sleeping all night. My mom eventually had to ground me from books of all things. I was suspended from the school and public library per her request, and my teachers had to go through my desk and locker and backpack to make sure I wasn't hiding any.

Obviously, I was very extreme. You can say weird, it's ok. But there really might be a valid reason for this new rule.

Ilumine · February 2013

Is it just me or did the OP change her original post? Because I am almost100% sure she mentioned that the BM had other odd rules in their house and I do not remember OP talking about how the child keeps track of the books she reads.

outnumbered · February 2013

YES. My daughter is 7. She loves to read. We limit her reading. If we did not she would have time not do her homework, practice math, or go outside and play.

Karma1969 · February 2013

Looks like the OP has been changed

Ilumine · February 2013

Karma1969:
Looks like the OP has been changed

I think its time we start C&P all original posts to ensure that this doesnt happen again.

lvnlife3184 · February 2013

are you guys saying i changed my original post? i'm not as savvy with all of this posting as some....but i haven't even been back on here since yesterday.

anyway....SD has told me its just a rule. nothing to do with bedtimes or any of that. it may just be BM doesn't have time to listen to her read aloud. i usually let SD do so while i cook dinner or am doing some chores. same with DH. He takes a little extra time at night also to sit and really listen and help her if she needs it. she doesn't read in bed though.

not sure why everyone got so hostile in this thread. was just a little aggrevation on my end. we have lots of problems with BM and this is my only vent at times because DH has too much stress from her to let me complain also. (she's been questioning childrens safety at our household and all kinds of ridiculous things.)

FutureMrsWittig · February 2013

My SDs mom told her she is only allowed to read for school and she is only allowed to do that at bedtime because she needs to spend her time while she is there playing with her siblings.

DH and I don't agree with this, but it's her house her rules as long as homework is getting done... Thems the breaks.

lvnlife3184 · February 2013

i understand sibling time...but i also think some kids like the alone time sometimes also.

i just hate seeing SD sad. she lately has been saying things aloud to us about "her moms house" and she seems upset....so hard for everyone to be in the situation.

She has also started noticing her mom not sending us information from school so we don't know about events and book orders when they are happening. we have to email the teacher constantly to find things out. she even sends copies home marked "dad" on top and those arne't making it to our home : (

cole2144 · February 2013

Ilumine:
Is it just me or did the OP change her original post? Because I am almost100% sure she mentioned that the BM had other odd rules in their house and I do not remember OP talking about how the child keeps track of the books she reads.

Yeah you are right I remember the same thing.

lvnlife3184 · February 2013

again, are you guys saying that I changed my original post or speaking about someone else? i don't even know HOW to change it! lol

i wrote in that post, which was only one time...one post people, everything it says there. she keeps track of the number of books for school for prizes and awards in school and its the schools/teachers way of getting the kids interested in reading. she told DH and I her mother made a rule 5 books a night to read. a night in this childs situation starts at 3pm after school.

yes BM has strange rules compared to other things she does allow. spongebob is now allowed but SD has a collection of Monster High toys and clothing. i don't get that. we don't question BM because she would flip on DH if he did. we don't say much in person because of the domestic battery she committed last year on DH. anyway....

again i have no idea how i would change the post. i'm not on here enough to be that savvy with all of this. its just a place for me to vent because BM likes to cause drama in our lives and she hates me for whatever reason. i do everything i can for the my stepchildren to make sure they are happy and she has always hated me for it.

sorry but wasn't looking for the drama ladies....

outnumbered · February 2013

lvnlife3184:
again, are you guys saying that I changed my original post or speaking about someone else? i don't even know HOW to change it! lol

i wrote in that post, which was only one time...one post people, everything it says there. she keeps track of the number of books for school for prizes and awards in school and its the schools/teachers way of getting the kids interested in reading. she told DH and I her mother made a rule 5 books a night to read. a night in this childs situation starts at 3pm after school.

yes BM has strange rules compared to other things she does allow. spongebob is now allowed but SD has a collection of Monster High toys and clothing. i don't get that. we don't question BM because she would flip on DH if he did. we don't say much in person because of the domestic battery she committed last year on DH. anyway....

again i have no idea how i would change the post. i'm not on here enough to be that savvy with all of this. its just a place for me to vent because BM likes to cause drama in our lives and she hates me for whatever reason. i do everything i can for the my stepchildren to make sure they are happy and she has always hated me for it.

sorry but wasn't looking for the drama ladies....

I do not think anybody was looking for drama. They are just giving you another perspective. Again, I limit the time my 7 year old reads. Her 'night' starts at 2:45. I also do not let my kids watch Sponge Bob, but my DD plays with Barbie. My kids are nice kids, but they are also good at at manipulating adults feelings to get sympathy and to get what they want. Let your SD read more at your house or go to the library and get more challenging books. After all reading is about quality and comprehension not quantity.

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