Vent am I crazy

codilane · February 2013

I went to the ER last night I have passed out 2 times this week. last night was at work, I have been sick w/ a virus they said I was extremely dehydrated. anyway, my husband was really rude to me about going to the ER, even tho work said if he didn't take me I had to go by ambulance. so once we got in the car he changed into a diff person seemed almost mad at me... he then left me at the ER all night from 2 am to 8 am.
I was so upset... am I being crazy to be mad?
Shouldn't he be worried about the baby as well, me?!

SuperSecretStatus · February 2013

My rule of thumb is that if you have to ask if you're crazy, the answer is probably yes.

However, no you have every right to be upset. Your husband was a d!ck for that. My husband would have caught hell then and there. To be a devil's advocate, that may have been his way of coping because he was scared/nervous. My husband turns into a complete douche when he's scared or worried about our daughter.

leahaustin · February 2013

So wait your DH took you to the ER and then got mad at you for going to the ER? It sounds like he was being the irrational one. I would bring it up and see what he says.

codilane · February 2013

He was mad before we went, he didn't even want me to go. I said I wanted to, so he took me, then sat there pouting and acting like a fool then left. All e said whn he left was call me when u are ready for me to come get you. And walked out. I sat there crying waiting...
I don't really want to bring it up, but I haven't really spoken to him since.
He knows I'm upset about it... Bu he is tryin to just ignore everything act like its all fine.
I'm just gettin really frustrated I'm having to go thru this all alone :

babygurlstevo · February 2013

he should be there to help u this is his baby to ... its not wrong to be upset about it because either way u had to go its not ur fault that ur passing out.... and had it been my man i would have made him stay there with me .... but good luck wit the rest of ur pregnancy .... hope things get better for u

samanthadarneille · February 2013

SuperSecretStatus:
My rule of thumb is that if you have to ask if you're crazy, the answer is probably yes.
However, no you have every right to be upset. Your husband was a d!ck for that. My husband would have caught hell then and there. To be a devil's advocate, that may have been his way of coping because he was scared/nervous. My husband turns into a complete douche when he's scared or worried about our daughter.

This. But I think you need to talk with him, there has to be a reason for him to have left. There is always a reason. It could be something completely unrelated to you and the baby though, so be prepared for that.

CutieBean79 · February 2013

I would be livid if DH left me in the ER during the crazy early am hours, pregnant or not. That is unacceptable. I would seriously be kicking his ass out of the house until he crawled back apologizing. But my DH would never do anything like this. It is not normal to leave your wife in an ER overnight. I am mad just reading your story. Seriously, what a diick. You FAINTED. You obviously needed med attention.

kendra223 · February 2013

Um no, you are by no means crazy for being mad. HE is crazy for leaving his pregnant wife at the ER from 2 am to 8 am when she was sick and fainting. What if you fainted again right there in the waiting room?? What if some creepy man seen you, obviously a woman there alone, and tried to mess with you? I say this because I had a friend who went alone to the ER one night and there was a creepy man hitting on her and wouldn't leave her alone..

Maybe your husband didn't understand how serious this was?? Your life AND the babys life could have been at risk. And what was he doing? Sitting at home playing video games and being mad? Wth??? I would talk to him and MAKE him understand how serious this really is.

katiebenes · February 2013

So... if my husband left me in the ER alone... there's a GOOD chance he'd be in the doghouse until the twins turned 6.

6 freaking hours and you're pregnant? I know it can be expensive but yeah... no... hell to pay.

Even if you weren't that would NOT FLY around me...

*so mad for you* sorry if my post is incoherent. it almost made my blood boil.

countrygurl0101 · February 2013

I totally agree with PPs. He is a complete *** for you leaving you there. That doesn't sound like a loving caring husband or father to me. Tell him if he can't fully support you and help take care of you, if he is more concerned with himself then you and your baby then he needs to move out until he either has his *** together or figures out if this is what he really wants. You would be better off alone then with a jerk that doesn't care about you. Even my *** of an ex-husband stayed by my side in the ER when I was miscarrying. Your DH has his priorities ass backward.

afreitas051279 · February 2013

I have to agree with everyone else he is wrong to have been mad. but you should talk to him about it if there isn't a good reason (and it better be damn good) that he got mad then he needs to be on the couch for a LONG time. and if he pulls it again out the door until he can figure out what needs to come first (you and that baby!) honestly he's lucky it's you he's married to if it were me... he would have needed to be seen when he decided to come back to make sure he still had his set in place Wink

TrixieMonroe · February 2013

Your husband is a self-absorbed a$$hole and you should tell him so.

codilane · February 2013

Thank you ladies!! I was pretty mad, but by the time I got out I was exhausted didn't want to fight...
I think he was mad bc he had read earlier this week that passing out is a normal thing during pregnancy. I am going to talk to him about it, but were on better terms right now, so I'm not sure how to bring it up. :
Thank you all for the support!

mama&baby · February 2013

codilane:
Thank you ladies!! I was pretty mad, but by the time I got out I was exhausted didn't want to fight... I think he was mad bc he had read earlier this week that passing out is a normal thing during pregnancy. I am going to talk to him about it, but were on better terms right now, so I'm not sure how to bring it up. : Thank you all for the support!

I'd like to see where the fluck he gets his sources from. Even though I am sure for some women with underlying medical conditions it may be more routine...you don't know what's going on til you get checked out. Sure it could be nothing, but why risk the health of you and your unborn child?

DH had somewhat of a similar reaction at a point in my pregnancy. He did NOT leave me though, and he would have never heard the end of it if he did. In a freak accident I ended up falling on my stomach and it ached so bad. I called an ambulance and went to the hospital to get checked. I was just so sure that something happened because my entire stomach was killing me. Got my rhogam shot and a couple days of taking it easy and was fine. Just some pulled muscles from the fall.

However, when I called to say that I was going to the hospital he said he thought I was overreacting. I think in that moment he was terrified and wasn't thinking straight. He even asked if I needed him there... um yeah I do. My car is at work at some point you will need to pick me up so I can get my car. Regardless of how unnecessary he may have thought the trip was, he left work ASAP and got to the hospital to be by my side. Because that's what your spouse is supposed to do, especially when you are PG. We had various dry runs to the hospital because I had major BH contractions for 1.5 months before I went into labor and he was there for every one of them.

I know you are angry and I would be, too. Just try to keep in perspective that he may have been scared shiitless. But stress to him that those are the times that he needs to stick by you instead of abandoning you and your baby. You will have much bigger issues if he continues this sort of behavior once the baby comes. The whole fear excuse doesn't cut it because guess what? Things get much more real and scary once your baby is here... and he dammn well not leave then.

ETA: Sorry for the novel. Didn't realize how long that was

kendra223 · February 2013

codilane:
Thank you ladies!! I was pretty mad, but by the time I got out I was exhausted didn't want to fight... I think he was mad bc he had read earlier this week that passing out is a normal thing during pregnancy. I am going to talk to him about it, but were on better terms right now, so I'm not sure how to bring it up. : Thank you all for the support!

He needs to stop getting info from the place that told him passing out during pregnancy is "normal". Maybe you can buy him the book What to Expect When Youre Expecting? I read it in my 1st pregnancy and it helped.

Anyway, good luck to you and I'm glad you guys are on better terms.

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