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April 2013 Moms
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Intro and Concern about DHs time off

Apr419Apr419
in April 2013 Moms

Hi Ladies,

I have been following this board for awhile but haven't posted before. I'm feeling stressed and wondering if any of you can relate. I just found out my husband can only take 5 days off when the baby comes. SERIOUSLY?! This is our second child, our first is 5 yrs old. Since I will likely be in the hospital for 2-3 days (and that's assuming everything goes fine), we will only be home for 4 days before he goes back to work. All my family lives out of state. My mom is going to come for a week and a half, but can't be here until the end of April. If I make it until my due date, all is fine - but my first child was 17 days early and my gut tells me this one will come early as well. My husband has some family here, but I really can't rely on them to be much help. Any words of wisdom for dealing with postpartum recovery, a week old baby, and maintaining a schedule for your older child all by yourself? My son's preschool is 25 miles away - maybe I should just  keep him home from school until my Mom is here and can help get him ready and drive him to and from school every day? I'm a bit concerned about being sleep deprived and driving that far twice a day.   

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Re: Intro and Concern about DHs time off

  • natcat11natcat11 member

    This is all my FI gets too - 5 days- but he's taking an additonal week off to be home with us.

    Can your husband take any vacation/sick/flex days to go along w/the 5 he's given?

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  • CoachAPCoachAP member

    yeah not sure how much time you expected for DH to have - my husband would have to take any additional days as vacation.

    Also, my DH is a CPA, so aside from the two days in the hospital, he will have to go back to work for a few days before being allowed to take said vacation. Poor planning on our part to have a baby during tax season!



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  • sbonniesbonnie
    My husband is a plumber... any days he takes off will be unpaid. At this point he's planning on taking 3-4 days (unpaid) and that includes time I'm in hospital.
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  • randomnamesrandomnames member
    My H is planning to take a week vacation, that's the only time off he gets. Neither of us has any family in the area. But this is our first, so no other kids to worry about. Have you thought about getting a post partum doula? I've been looking for one in my area, just in case we need some extra help.

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  • JSS1002JSS1002 member
    My DH doesn't get any time off either, but he has some vacation time to use.  Maybe a week. 
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  • skoogirlskoogirl
    My husband is a chef, so he doesn't get any time off.  They will give him the days I'm in the hospital though as a courtesy.  Otherwise, I'm on my own like last time.  You can do it.
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  • keadokeado member

    Does your son go to preschool full-time?  If so, I'd do whatever I could to keep him in that and his routine the same.  If he is, you will have the day to sleep while the baby sleeps.  Can your husband or a friend take him?  

    If his preschool is just a mother's day out program and he's home with you most o the time, then that's a whole different ballgame, and by the time you loaded him up and picked him up it may or may not be worth the effort. This is where I am at - my four year old is up at 6 and doesn't nap, I'm home with her all day and my husband doesn't get home until late just because of a crazy work schedule.  I've got no family around and no one will come to stay (which is fine, its not an obligation), and though I've got plenty of friends to help, its hard to ask for it when everyone has their own lives.  I've decided to try to hire someone two afternoons a week for the first few weeks to give my oldest some attention.  She never slows down, so I'm never going to sleep and I know it, but maybe that will give me a few hours of downtime.  

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  • krbyrd24krbyrd24 member
    Does your husbands company have FMLA? It would obviously be unpaid but worth using a week if you feel your family needs its.
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  • kbeamer25kbeamer25

    My DH is only taking a week off as well- I think that's pretty standard unless you're a resident in Canada :)

    I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum..I have a plathora of help and I'm afraid my IL's will be a little too overbearing considering we are staying with them while we process buying a home.

    When I had my first DD it was just my mom that was able to help me and it actually worked out really well because I had to go back to work on the weekends, 3 weeks after I had her. Although, I didn't have any other children at the time. My advice would be to maybe consider keeping your toddler home until your mother comes to visit like you metioned. That way you aren't taking the LO out during the first month after he/she arrives, and you can relax with you monkeys.

    I started looking online for suggestions on juggling schedules and organizing time for my newborn as well as our other two kiddos while I'm home. I found some pretty helpful agendas! I'm only going to be able to take 6-8 weeks off of work so on the bright side- at least you can stay home and be with your LO :) I can sympathize with your concerns though.

    Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!

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  • sbonniesbonnie
    imagekbeamer25:

    My DH is only taking a week off as well- I think that's pretty standard unless you're a resident in Canada :)

    I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum..I have a plathora of help and I'm afraid my IL's will be a little too overbearing considering we are staying with them while we process buying a home.

    When I had my first DD it was just my mom that was able to help me and it actually worked out really well because I had to go back to work on the weekends, 3 weeks after I had her. Although, I didn't have any other children at the time. My advice would be to maybe consider keeping your toddler home until your mother comes to visit like you metioned. That way you aren't taking the LO out during the first month after he/she arrives, and you can relax with you monkeys.

    I started looking online for suggestions on juggling schedules and organizing time for my newborn as well as our other two kiddos while I'm home. I found some pretty helpful agendas! I'm only going to be able to take 6-8 weeks off of work so on the bright side- at least you can stay home and be with your LO :) I can sympathize with your concerns though.

    Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!

    Haha I'm in Canada and H still gets nothing (unless he takes someone my parental leave)
    I get a year though so I'm not complaining
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