Nighttime feeding duties?

jglandon@hotmail.com · February 2013

How did you and your husband handle nighttime feedings and diaper changes? Right now I don't think either one of us is comfortable doing it all by ourself so usually one of us will make a bottle while the other changes twin a's diaper and then one of us feeds. We then repeat the process for twin b. Part of me thinks its foolish for us both to be getting up all night, but I can't imagine doing it all myself at this point. Any ideas/suggestions would be great.

shaunah816 · February 2013

I think I'm one of the few around here who does have both of us up for feedings, so the other ladies will be able to give you more information on sleeping in shifts and having one person handle it. Both my husband and I work full time, so we have no notions about trying to help the other person get more sleep for work, etc.

When the boys wake at night my husband goes to the nursery, changes A, brings him into the bedroom, then repeats the process for B. While this is going on I get up and make two bottles, then start feeding A. When my husband comes back in the room with B he feeds him. We feed them simultaneously. We then put our baby back in the nursery.

If they wake up due to sickness or some other non-hunger reason we trade off who gets up to do the soothe. If one of us is sick, the other will usually take more of these soothe shifts. I've handled an overnight by myself once, and it was ugly. Surely I would've gotten better at it if it were an every day occurrence, but for now we feel like the process goes quickly and easily with both of us up, so that's how we do it.

Temp123197812503460 · February 2013

we always did it together at night. i was nursing so my husband would do diapers and i would feed and then he would put them back in the bed.

it was less stress trying to manage everything that way, and actually it was kind of a special time for us (ok, not always, sometimes there were screaming babies who wouldnt go back to sleep but ive blocked that part out of my mind). i have nice memories of us talking in the dark in really quite voices while i was feeding the babies.

Brummy14 · February 2013

We do shifts -- so we can maximize longer sleep stretches for each of us. When we're on our own, I'll get as much sleep as I can between when he gets home from work and midnight (I pump at 8PM and midnight) -- he usually has DD1 fed right around midnight and she's settled, so I'm only dealing with DD2.

I'm "on" until 5AM -- if we have two screamers, I feed one, put her in the swing (and hope she settles) and then feed the other while simultaneously pumping. It can be a bit nutty at times! But, those feedings occur between 3:30 and 4:30 AM...

DH takes over again at 5AM while getting ready for work (and can often snag another hour of sleep if both girls are down) -- and lets me sleep until 7AM, when he heads out the door.

In the end, we both end up with around 5 hours of sleep each, which isn't super fantastic, but not bad for 4 week old twins. The biggest help for him is the uninterrupted sleep stretches -- I don't get much of that as a result of all the pumping, but 3.5 hours is stellar these days if I can get it at once!

Rynleigh · February 2013

Right now (boys are 3 weeks old), I nurse the boys around 6:30PM while DH feeds our older girls, then I pump and change diapers while he gets the kids' clothes/lunches ready for the next day. Then we all go to bed by about 7:30 or 8PM (girls get to stay up til 9, but they get themselves to sleep just fine without us). If one of the boys wakes up before midnight, DH gets up and checks both diapers, then feeds both of them. They usually just wake up once between 8 and midnight if he gets them both up to eat at the same time, but sometimes more if they need diapers at different times. If one wakes up after midnight and before 4AM, I get up and change/feed them, then pump again.

If either of them wake up between 4AM and 6AM, we both get up and do a rapid-fire diaper change and 1oz formula "pacify" feed to maximize that last two hour period before we have to get up for the morning routine of getting him to work and the girls to school. We're down to them only waking up about 2-3x a night now as long as we actually take the time to make sure we feed both of them at the same time and keep them awake long enough to eat a full 2-4oz when we feed them. We have a bad night here or there, but usually only if I make the mistake of eating something that doesn't agree with one of the boys (Simon gets gassy and cranky if I eat a lot of onion, like onion rings, and James gets the runs if I eat too much citrus fruit).

Mayan2011 · February 2013

I was very fortunate in that in addition to my 1yr maternity leave DH was able to take off 3 months. So, for the first 3 months we both got up together when the babes were up. When he went back to work I took over and now do all night feedlings. Although, DS is now STTN and DD only gets up once so it isn't bad. On the weekend we each get 1 night to STTN while the other tends to baby duties.

leebi07 · February 2013

We did shifts. When we were feeding every 3 hours. I would do the 9pm and then go to bed, DH would do the midnight and then come to bed. I would get up and do the 3am and then go back to bed after. DH would get up to do the 6am and I would get up before he went to work. For the midnight and 3am they would most likely have to be woken up, so we would just feed and change one, put that one back to bed and move onto the other one. For us, that worked because we were both able to get sleep.

raraavis28 · February 2013

We started out sharing each nighttime feeding (DH would heat up bottles while I changed DS1 and then I'd start feeding DS1, he'd change and feed DS2. Afterwards he'd wash out the bottles and I'd pump). Now we're both good enough at tandem bottle feeding, and they're down to two feedings per night so we each take one feeding (either midnightish or 4ish) so the other can get about 6 hours of unbroken sleep. For the tandem feed we just prop them up in their Boppies on the floor. Downsides are that there is often one crying baby while I change the other one and get ready to feed them both, and I miss a pumping session (I guess I could get up and pump while DH feeds LOs but I usually choose sleep :-P) Advantages are the extra sleep, don't have to deal w/ DH who is often super cranky in the middle of the night, and extra sleep.:)

mirnb · February 2013

in the beginning we would share the feeding duties and both get up...one do diapers while the other heats bottles then feed together....once my husband went back to work i tried to go to bed around 9...he would stay up till 11...then I would do the rest in the night!

MrsCali_Bride · February 2013

My husband would get up and change the first baby's diaper and bring them to me to nurse and then go back to sleep until I was done. I'd give him back that baby an he would do the same for the second one.

Reilly626 · February 2013

First month he was off but we did shifts. He was on duty till 2 am and me after. I would go to sleep at 9 pm. If you dont do shifts you will be exhausted. My husband teaches and has to be rested to deal with middle schoolers so when he went back to work I would go to sleep at 6 pm and sleep till 11 pm and then I was on duty all night. It's hard and I don't miss night feedings. Keep them in the same schedules!

JodiAriel · February 2013

I do it myself. When one baby gets up I nurse them and change them if needed and put them back down. I then wake the second baby and do the same. If both babies happen to wake at once I try putting one in the swing while I feed and change one and then do the next. Only when that doesnt work do I have DH get up. I dont work and he works and commutes an hour each way so he needs to be well rested, plus he works a second job at night 2 nights a week.

On the weekends though he gets up with me at night and in the morning when the girls wake up he gets up with them and feeds and plays with them until I wake up so I can get some extra sleep.

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