Who will be circumsising there boys?

Ashleymarie9807 · February 2013

This is not meant to start and argument or a debate, Just asking. My son will be(Spoke to the Dr about it yesterday it gets done before we leave the hospital) He was giving me all the pro's and con's which I will not list. Just asking, I was also told normally what the daddy is the son will be(Cut daddy=cut son, Uncut daddy-Uncut son).

ehnasto · February 2013

I don't know what I am having yet but if it is a boy I do plan do it. I read a few articles on it regarding health positives for doing it. The article also did mention looking like daddy helps the kid feel normal especially during potty training.

everchangingcycles · February 2013

Daddy is circumcised. We've talked about it a few times and decided not to circumcise.

Ashleymarie9807 · February 2013

That's one thing the Dr said, It avoids confusion for the son to look like the father in that area.

AmeliaKris · February 2013

We will circumcise. Its a lot to ask a school age child to be responsible for properly cleaning things. I just think its easier on the child in the long run.

Mrs.Handy · February 2013

We circumcised DS and will circumcise this baby if it is a boy.

PrimRoseMama · February 2013

OP, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but just because you don't mean to start a debate or a fight doesn't mean that it won't happen. Just buckle up, there are some very strong opinions on this.

I just want to know why you care what others choose to do with their babies' private parts? Why would it help you make the decision for your baby? I'm not trying to be snarky, but this should be something that you should decide for yourself. I would not let anyone on a public message board sway you either way.

If we have a boy we will circumcise.

Ashleymarie9807 · February 2013

aylacbw:
Ashleymarie9807:
That's one thing the Dr said, It avoids confusion for the son to look like the father in that area.
I don't get this argument. Are lots of little boys exposed to their father's penises? Enough for them to register that there is a difference between the two? I would think IF a child saw his father's penis, it would be by mistake a time or two... I personally can't remember ever hanging out around the house naked with my father comparing our genitals.

Most fathers Potty Train there boys by showing them how(I know I potty trained my Daughter) Not in all cases but I know my husband will play a big part in teaching him how boys use the potty. Im not saying they are going to have penis parties or anything lol but thats what my Dr was referring too.

Ashleymarie9807 · February 2013

I guess I am asking because I have not had a boy, my family has not had a boy in it in 15 years and I am just curious.

bananatiff · February 2013

Ashleymarie9807:
I was also told normally what the daddy is the son will be(Cut daddy=cut son, Uncut daddy-Uncut son).

The worst argument.

Liz4444 · February 2013

If this child is a boy, there will be a bris.

Redrose101307 · February 2013

if LO is a boy, we will not. Dad isn't but even if he were we wouldn't do it. I carry hemophilia (blood clotting disorder) so I wouldn't want my son having an unnecessary bleed.

Mrs.Handy · February 2013

My son sees my H's penis a decent amount. We don't really hide from him naked. Just this morning, he was watching my H pee and said to him "Don't touch penis." I'm not sure why. Kind of cute

They both have circumcised penises, but I don't think he would notice a difference at this age. Maybe when he is older, but

BelhurstBride · February 2013

bananatiff:
Ashleymarie9807:
I was also told normally what the daddy is the son will be(Cut daddy=cut son, Uncut daddy-Uncut son).
The worst argument.

Seriously.

blush64 · February 2013

ehnasto:
I don't know what I am having yet but if it is a boy I do plan do it. I read a few articles on it regarding health positives for doing it. The article also did mention looking like daddy helps the kid feel normal especially during potty training.

To each their own however,

I have yet to see a small child's penis that looked like a grown man's penis. I guess my sons must be quite messed up considering I trained them and I don't have a penis at all. Honestly, my sons feel normal because I raised them to be proud of and respect their bodies.

Are you quite concerned that a little girl will be so confused as to why her vagina doesn't look just like mommy's? Because they tend to look different when you are 2-3 years old and an adult.

EDIT My sons are not done and any future sons will not be. Their father was. It made no difference to him if they were. My sons are teens and have yet to have a problem with looking like everyone.

One problem is that few people realize you don't have to do anything special to care for it or clean it until the skin naturally retracts. You never force it back. (and that doesn't happen as a baby)

Girls are quite capable of cleaning their bodies. During puberty when girls start their period we aren't worried they won't be capable of dealing with it. Cleaning a penis is a lot easier than what we have had to deal with. EDIT Certain reasons don't make sense to me but I do believe it's your decision to make.

Steph7107 · February 2013

My son was circumcised and if these are boys they will be too

everchangingcycles · February 2013

bananatiff:
Ashleymarie9807:
I was also told normally what the daddy is the son will be(Cut daddy=cut son, Uncut daddy-Uncut son).
The worst argument.

Agreed.

Just to add some humor to this board, sit down and read a little story:

My fiance was adopted, and because of reasons, they don't automatically circumcise boys who are put up for adoption. So it wasn't until he was older (I forget what age), old enough to talk and communicate regularly, that it was time to get circumcised, because his dad was. Well, when explaining to him what would happen, his mom said, "Well now, your penis will look like daddy's." And all he could think of as a response was, "You mean it's going to be bigger!?"

Okay, well I about died of laughter when his mom told me that. It's one of those stories that only the special lady in his life gets told...but you guys are the internet, so I don't mind passing it on.

Anyway, moral of my story...the only difference he saw was size difference. That's important to note. Also, why is it so important to grow up in a household with limited differences? It's important, IMO, to teach children that there is something different about them (whatever it is) and that is perfect, because that's what makes them who they are. The only time I'd change that stance and ask for medical intervention is if it was something serious, like a cleft pallet or something, but that's beside the point.

ScarletOflaherty · February 2013

blush64:
Are you quite concerned that a little girl will be so confused as to why her vagina doesn't look just like mommy's? Because they tend to look different when you are 2-3 years old and an adult.

Bingo.

The answer to the 'Why does my penis not look like yours' question is pretty simple should it ever come up, because all penises are different. That's all a 2 year old can process or needs to know, and not one will ever question it further until they are older, and then you can give them the medical answer. It's not as complicated as people like to make it out to be, and most times kids don't even ask, they just accept without question. Confusion that will lead to self-esteem issues? That's something adults tell themselves to justify their decisions.

Personally I think the Penn and Teller Bullsh!t episode on this topic should be required watching for every mother of boys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNKmfUZUlbo 

Erinm278 · February 2013

We will circumsize if it is a boy. DH is circumsized and I let him make the decision on the penis.

RedCherry1109 · February 2013

Daddy is not but he wanted the boys to be so they are and LO#3 will be cut too. I left it up to him since he has the boy parts.

tetesmama · February 2013

We did for DS and will if we are having another boy. I had a say but figured DH has "one" and I don't so he should know what's best for OUR babies. I he said he didn't want to I'd be fine with it to and learn how to properly care for his lil privates!

+ASH+ · February 2013

We circumcised for a variety of reasons. But #1 is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer.

And to the ones stating that girls don't look at their mother's vaginas to compare - I don't know about you, but my vagina is not hanging out there for all to see the way a penis is.

Don't stand in judgment of the personal decisions others make for their own children.

caramia582 · February 2013

We circumsized DS1 and will again if this one is a boy. We never had any problems or adverse effects (neither did my brothers or DH and his brother).

ELauren88 · February 2013

If baby has male genitalia, we will be circumcising. Not for any big moral reason on my part, I'm not opposed or a big advocate for it. But it's important to DH, and it's one of the things we discussed before TTC. I left the decision up to him, and he says hands down he wants a circumcision.

It may not be the "right" way to make this decision, but I felt it was only fair since I have no strong feelings either way.

Tiefling · February 2013

We're not doing it. I dont have a huge opinion but my bf is circumcised and hes been pissed about it pretty much since it happened lol Not that I blame him, if I was circumcised Id probly be pissed too. Ultimately I figure itd be better to just leave it up to my son to decide when hes older whether or not hes into genital mutilation.

MissyCee · February 2013

If baby is a boy we will be circumcising him.

pepomntpat · February 2013

No. I asked DH what he thought and he said he has no strong feelings on the matter and so we just won't. Made that discussion easy. Of course we'll have to see if it is a boy first or not!

ScarletOflaherty · February 2013

+ASH+:
Don't stand in judgment of the personal decisions others make for their own children.

A personal decision is one you make in private for your own reasons. Putting them out on the internet is asking for judgement. Common sense.

blush64 · February 2013

+ASH+:

We circumcised for a variety of reasons. But #1 is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer.

And to the ones stating that girls don't look at their mother's vaginas to compare - I don't know about you, but my vagina is not hanging out there for all to see the way a penis is.

Don't stand in judgment of the personal decisions others make for their own children.

IT's not the decision, it's the reasoning. This decision is personal but should be made as an informed decision. People can make whatever decision they want. If the reasons don't make sense to some people we can choose to let you know. I respect people who have looked at the facts and decided that this is the right thing to do. I don't agree but I respect them. EDIT Making the choice of surgery for your child is not a decision that should be taken lightly. When people appear to take it really lightly or give reasons that make little sense to me and post it online in a place asking for opinions....I'm going to give opinions.

DO you really think that because a penis might be more readily visible that girls will not question differences? And what's wrong with differences? WE are different. It's not that the little girl won't look, it's that no one is even considering that she could also feel "different". Bottom line, a boy's penis is not going to look like a man's penis no matter what you do.

jlpev · February 2013

aylacbw:
Ashleymarie9807:
That's one thing the Dr said, It avoids confusion for the son to look like the father in that area.
I don't get this argument. Are lots of little boys exposed to their father's penises? Enough for them to register that there
is a difference between the two? I would think IF a child saw his father's penis, it would be by mistake a time or two... I personally can't remember ever hanging out around the house naked with my father comparing our genitals. 

Potty training!!! Guys and boys see each other penises a lot. At urinals and stuff like that..

goatgirlnyc · February 2013

Liz4444:
If this child is a boy, there will be a bris.

We'll be doing this too.

ScarletOflaherty · February 2013

jlpev:
Potty training!!! Guys and boys see each other penises a lot. At urinals and stuff like that..

And....? How do you intend to explain all the uncut penises he will see at urinals? What makes you think seeing a whole, uncut penis won't make him feel bad about himself for having one that had parts cut off of it?

He'll be seeing strangers penises in urinals a LOT more than he will be seeing his dad's, and half of them will be uncut.

amberyintar · February 2013

We will not be doing this. I personally feel having surgery on your genitals should be a decision made by the child as an adult. If this was part of our religion, I would do it, but it is not, so we won't.

However, this is everyone's own decision to make based on their own reasoning. So no judgement to those who choose to circumcise.

Edited for clarity.

transcriber87 · February 2013

We found out Saturday that we are having a boy so the answer for us is yes, we will have him circumcised before we leave the hospital

Brady77 · February 2013

We will be, it isn't even up for discussion. There is a lower transmission of HIV in circumsized males, as well as lower rate of HPV transmission and decreased rate of UTIs. That is enough for us.

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/malecircumcision/

After adjustment for confounding factors in the population-based studies, the relative risk for HIV infection was 44% lower in circumcised men. The strongest association was seen in men at high risk, such as patients at STD clinics, for whom the adjusted relative risk was 71% lower for circumcised men.

Male circumcision reduces the risk that a man will acquire HIV from an infected female partner, and also lowers the risk of other STDs , penile cancer, and infant urinary tract infection. In female partners, it reduces the risk of cervical cancer, genital ulceration, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis, and HPV. Although male circumcision has risks including pain, bleeding, and infection, more serious complications are rare.

Mrs.Handy · February 2013

Brady77:

We will be, it isn't even up for discussion. There is a lower transmission of HIV in circumsized males, as well as lower rate of HPV transmission and decreased rate of UTIs. That is enough for us.

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/malecircumcision/

After adjustment for confounding factors in the population-based studies, the relative risk for HIV infection was 44% lower in circumcised men. The strongest association was seen in men at high risk, such as patients at STD clinics, for whom the adjusted relative risk was 71% lower for circumcised men.

Male circumcision reduces the risk that a man will acquire HIV from an infected female partner, and also lowers the risk of other STDs , penile cancer, and infant urinary tract infection. In female partners, it reduces the risk of cervical cancer, genital ulceration, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis, and HPV. Although male circumcision has risks including pain, bleeding, and infection, more serious complications are rare.

This is what led my desire to do it. Not the "match daddy's penis" thing.

homebird · February 2013

Originally, I was leaning towards not doing it, until I read that the AAP recommends newborn male circumcision (saying the benefits outweigh the risks).

I usually go with AAP recommendations, so we'll do it. Honestly, this is not a hot button topic for me. I don't think either decision is a bad one.

Also, the "just like daddy" argument makes no sense to me. When do guys stand around comparing penises with their sons? I asked H if he ever saw his dad's and he laughed and said no freaking way.

ScarletOflaherty · February 2013

homebird:
Originally, I was leaning towards not doing it, until I read that the AAP recommends newborn male circumcision (saying the benefits outweigh the risks).

Not going to argue your position on your own child, but I do want to point out for everyone's sake that the above statement is NOT complete info.

It's your choice to do it, but the AAP does NOT recommend it routinely and your statement is misleading.

"After a comprehensive review of the scientific evidence, the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision."

And the actual statement says the benefits are enough to 'justify access' for families who choose it(read: not recommend banning it). It does not say ANYWHERE that they recommend it being done.

Since you usually go with AAP recommendations, you probably what to know what they actually say

GraceInCA · February 2013

Ashleymarie9807:
That's one thing the Dr said, It avoids confusion for the son to look like the father in that area.

Dumbest argument ever. No father and son needs matchy-matchy penises. Probably the only argument nearly as dumb is "My husband has a penis and I don't so I let him decide." Guess what: you both have brains and the ability to reason, do your research, don't make a life-altering decision based on emotion or how it "feels" to one person.

My husband is circumcised, because that was the norm when he was born. My son was not. If this child had been a boy, we would not have circumcised either. Anyone who thinks potty training is made more difficult (it's not), the child will be self-conscious about it (they will not - the circumcision rate is plummeting in this country and is dipping below 50% - will likely reach the rates in Europe & the rest of the civilized world for our children's generation), or that it reduces the already miniscule rate of disease transmission or penile cancer to another miniscule rate is fooling themselves. None of those are compelling reasons for circumcision.

I have yet to hear one coherent, well-stated argument in favor of circumcision on The Bump. I hear a lot of "We wanted father and son to match," or "It's easier to keep clean," or "He won't be as likely to get AIDS so the benefit outweighs the risks." I don't think people realize that making a major modification on your child's genitals is a practice that most advanced, first world countries never picked up or abandoned years ago. Thank heavens those of you making that decision are becoming the minority.

/Off my soapbox.

Brady77 · February 2013

GraceInCA:

Ashleymarie9807:
That's one thing the Dr said, It avoids confusion for the son to look like the father in that area.

Dumbest argument ever. No father and son needs matchy-matchy penises. Probably the only argument nearly as dumb is "My husband has a penis and I don't so I let him decide." Guess what: you both have brains and the ability to reason, do your research, don't make a life-altering decision based on emotion or how it "feels" to one person.

My husband is circumcised, because that was the norm when he was born. My son was not. If this child had been a boy, we would not have circumcised either. Anyone who thinks potty training is made more difficult (it's not), the child will be self-conscious about it (they will not - the circumcision rate is plummeting in this country and is dipping below 50% - will likely reach the rates in Europe & the rest of the civilized world for our children's generation), or that it reduces the already miniscule rate of disease transmission or penile cancer to another miniscule rate is fooling themselves. None of those are compelling reasons for circumcision.

I have yet to hear one coherent, well-stated argument in favor of circumcision on The Bump. I hear a lot of "We wanted father and son to match," or "It's easier to keep clean," or "He won't be as likely to get AIDS so the benefit outweighs the risks." I don't think people realize that making a major modification on your child's genitals is a practice that most advanced, first world countries never picked up or abandoned years ago. Thank heavens those of you making that decision are becoming the minority.

/Off my soapbox.

Sorry, but my argument up above IS coherent and backed by the Centers for Disease Control and a myriad of VALID studies. I work in public health. You don't want to hey that's your choice, but you'd be hard pressed to say that years of studies domestically and internationally showing a lower rate of tranmission are not compelling, muchless not coherent.

ScarletOflaherty · February 2013

Brady77:

Sorry, but my argument up above IS coherent and backed by the Centers for Disease Control and a myriad of VALID studies. I work in public health. You don't want to hey that's your choice, but you'd be hard pressed to say that years of studies domestically and internationally showing a lower rate of tranmission are not compelling, muchless not coherent.

They are only 'compelling' if you have no intention of teaching your child about the mandatory use of condoms.

Believe it or not circumcision is *extremely* rare in Europe and they have lower AIDS/ STD rates than the US.

Who will be circumsising there boys?

Re: Who will be circumsising there boys?

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