Dont love my husband anymore

lovedontlivehereanymore · February 2013

I had a baby a few months ago. I'm not sure if that was what did it, but I just feel nothing for my hubby anymore. I don't even remember why I married him. No passion, no spark, just....nothing. I can't even remember what it felt like to love him. Is this normal pp hormones?

yes this is an ae.

AliciaS1411 · February 2013

Uh..I'd talk to my OB or Midwife about it. It sounds like PP hormones to me, and maybe even a PP type of depression. I hope things get better for you.

danigirl7181 · February 2013

I remember there was an adjustment period after I had DD. You were used to it being just the two of you, and now DD/DS takes up most of your time. I remember I was mad because me and DH never had time for just the two of us. We were stressed out and took it out on eachother. See if you can plan a date night where you can actually talk and just spend some time together.

Jennifer271012 · February 2013

AliciaS1411:
Uh..I'd talk to my OB or Midwife about it. It sounds like PP hormones to me, and maybe even a PP type of depression. I hope things get better for you.

All of this.

Call your doctor. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Best of luck.

Rosebud2587 · February 2013

I felt like that with my PPD. I didn't want anything to do with him. I hated when he wanted to cuddle and I dreaded sex. I went to a councilor and was put on meds and after a while things got better. I'd definitely talk to someone about it so you can get help.

Kristinmo · February 2013

Here are my thoughts:

-Are you still nursing? That kills my sex drive.

- Are you on birth control pills. Again, kills my sex drive.

-Like others said, it could be PPD.

-It could also be the normal ebb and flow of your relationship. It's not reasonable to expect to be head over heels, I want to jump you every minutes in love with each other every single minute for the rest of your lives. Most couples who are married for many years fall in and out of love with each other many times. Give it a chance to come back.

The first year of having a baby is hard on a marriage. I would not make any decisions about the future during that year.

quidditchcapn1120 · February 2013

I felt that way for a week or two after having my first. Not the first week or two but a couple months into it. Looking back I probably should have looked into PPD because that was just one thing among a multitude of things. You should definitely talk to your doctor or midwife about your feelings.

victoria+james · February 2013

One of my friends went through something similar shortly after she had her DS. For her it ended up being linked to PPD.

No guarantee that it will be the same for you, but you should definitely see your doctor.

I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope things get better for you very soon.

LnR70707 · February 2013

Are you breastfeeding? Either way I agree it sounds like a form of PPD and I'm pretty sure I went through it to some degree myself, though I never sought help. There were several times that first when I was sure we'd never make it...it was us (DS and I) and him. I felt like I had suddenly changed so much about me and DH had changed nothing. We'd talk it out of course, but looking back the truth was I just couldn't approach things from a truly rational standpoint. When I weaned it was like a switch was flipped. I never had any "baby blues" or depression, just resentment toward DH. I plan to BF again, but I will know what to look for (or at least know that it will get better again and I really do love my husband).

wfdfire607 · February 2013

danigirl7181:
I remember there was an adjustment period after I had DD. You were used to it being just the two of you, and now DD/DS takes up most of your time. I remember I was mad because me and DH never had time for just the two of us. We were stressed out and took it out on eachother. See if you can plan a date night where you can actually talk and just spend some time together.

^^ This. A date night saved us. I felt the same way and going out for a couple hours just to be ourselves again felt great. If that doesn't work, I agree with the PP about talking to your MW/OB. PPD is nothing to be ignored. GL and I hope things start looking up for you.

princess101 · February 2013

It is very common from what I know and what i've experienced. All of what the previous posters have said is true. I would suggest relationship building activities like a date night, alone time where you communicate or just relax with no kids present.

My DH and I have issues and have lost that spark but more on his end as far as the drive issue. We started going to counseling and he is doing counseling for his PTSD as well which is what seems to have been causing him to withdraw from the relationship. Did you have a traumatic birthing experience? Are you under a ton of stress? Are you resentful of him not putting effort? If it's just sex, that's normal for a while but all the other things really require communication and possibly talking to an outside party to at least make the effort. Marriage is hard and kids make it seem almost impossible sometimes but it's worth it. I'm hanging in there and giving it my all which is what I promised him when we said our vows.

Good luck!

MrsMommyofDom · February 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this. Communicate how you feel to your doctor. How is everything else in your life? I know exercise and fresh air really helped me. My hubby and I just got married, had a baby and bought a house in less than a year....like 7 months. Plus, my Grandfather passed away 4 months after my son was born...we were SO close. I was in denial and was devastated for about 18 months after. The 1st year of marriage is very hard, but to top it with all of that was even harder. I was 23 t the time and a stay at home mom. My hubby worked long hours, he would go to bed at 6:30pm and wake for work at 3:30am. It was tough learning how to be a mother on my own...my mom isnt in the picture....and trying to be a good wife was out of the question. I was grieving and being a new mom. Some nights i was so exhausted that i would fantasize about holding a meat tenderizer glaring at my hubby because my son would wake up hungry and my hubby was snoring away. I just needed a break to nap! Dont get me wrong, i love my husband, i was just depressed and felt ALL alone. My advice: if someone has offered to babysit so you can do something nice for yourself...take the offer. You need to take care of yourself Momma! Also, communicate your feelings to your hubby. Your relationship can only get stronger. I really hope you get to feeling better and your marriage improves. Id just give it time...make sure you talk to your doctor though. Your baby and hubby deserve a healthy and happy mom and wife.

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