- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Two Under 2
PuggMommy22
member
14mo scared of grandparents! Baby 2 due next month!
PuggMommy22
member
in Two Under 2
I need major help mamas! My 14 mo DD has major stranger anxiety with her grandparents! I'm due with baby 2 March 31 and have no idea what I'm going to do with my DD when I go into labor/am in the hospital.
Around 9months old she started freaking out if her grandparents held her both my parents and my DF's parents. We see them probably 24 times a month. We thought it was a phase that she would get over quickly but here we are at almost 15 months old! We have tried so many things to get her comfortable with them. We started going once a week for dinner to his df parents house. They can come up to her but can't pick her up. And they can't come up to her until she's gotten comfortable which takes maybe 1015 minutes.
She will only let me and DF and my best friend hold her. When we go out to eat or shopping she is so friendly to everybody. With baby 2 coming I am really freaking out!! I go to my moms and just sit on the couch the 3 of usmy mom, dd, and myself and she starts getting warmed up to my mom after a while. But if I leave the room she freaks. She really freaks if I leave the room at my inlaws, even if her daddy is holding her.
Sorry so long and all over the place! Also, Our pedi said at her 1 yr checkup that there's nothing really you can do but give it time and let her grow out of it. And not to force the issue. I'm a SAHM and know she is a little too attached to me but my bff watches her sometimes and she doesn't even care If I leave. I want her to be like that with her grandparents but it just does not seem to be happening! Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!
Around 9months old she started freaking out if her grandparents held her both my parents and my DF's parents. We see them probably 24 times a month. We thought it was a phase that she would get over quickly but here we are at almost 15 months old! We have tried so many things to get her comfortable with them. We started going once a week for dinner to his df parents house. They can come up to her but can't pick her up. And they can't come up to her until she's gotten comfortable which takes maybe 1015 minutes.
She will only let me and DF and my best friend hold her. When we go out to eat or shopping she is so friendly to everybody. With baby 2 coming I am really freaking out!! I go to my moms and just sit on the couch the 3 of usmy mom, dd, and myself and she starts getting warmed up to my mom after a while. But if I leave the room she freaks. She really freaks if I leave the room at my inlaws, even if her daddy is holding her.
Sorry so long and all over the place! Also, Our pedi said at her 1 yr checkup that there's nothing really you can do but give it time and let her grow out of it. And not to force the issue. I'm a SAHM and know she is a little too attached to me but my bff watches her sometimes and she doesn't even care If I leave. I want her to be like that with her grandparents but it just does not seem to be happening! Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 14mo scared of grandparents! Baby 2 due next month!
This! I'd see if your BFF can watch her. Her relationship with her grandparents will come with time. My DD has/had major separation/stranger anxiety. She's 2.5 and only now lets me leave without pitching a fit. It was a long 2+ years of exactly what you are describing with you DD, but it does get better.
Have you tried one grandparent at a time? Having her spend a little time with each of them by themselves. Also, they should go to her level, etc. when they greet her. That sometimes helps. My little one has a fear of my younger brother, who is the sweetest person in the world, but he is 6'3 and big. So when he gets down to her level and does things with her that she likes to do she warms up a little bit. Just some ideas if you can't leave her with someone else.
I would also leave the room when you visit to see how she reacts. Sometimes you being in the room could cause her to have the anxiety because she is waiting for you to leave etc. If you do leave, that fear is gone. I would get her doing an activity with one of her grandparents and then leave to go into the kitchen etc. See what happens.
Good Luck
Im sure it will work out in some way.
Unfortunatly my BFF works in NYC I live in Mass, abOut a 2 hour drive and its pretty much hit or miss if they can take time off. Won't know until then if they can watch her. I'm really really hoping for that though!
I'm going to drop off DF w my DD at his parents house and see how it goes without me there. After a bit, DF will go upstairs and leave her alone with his mom. We are going to try to just have his mother there bc his dad is very loud and kinda in her face. Ya know, will try to tickle her, etc. So we'll see how that goes! Thanks for the advice ladies!
This. My DS doesn't let anyone hold him if we are in the house. But if my mom watches him and we leave the house, he cries as we are leaving then he's fine.