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October 2011 Moms
Sh!tstorm 2013
It happend. Long story short, after Abby went to bed, I called my mom tonight to make birthday plans with the family this weekend and it turned into me telling her we are moving. All he!! broke lose, I tried to talk without crying, although I did yell several times. She basically said this is like me saying "*** you!" and "goodbye" to them. I tried to tell her otherwise ... I tried to tell her that our intent was to not never see them again; infact, that's not what we want at all. She didn't really care to hear what I have to say. What I got out of our conversation is that our relationship is dead at this point. I cried so hard with MH for a long time. Now I'm just completely drained and hoenstly quite numb to the whole situation. Get me out of this he!! hole ...
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Re: Sh!tstorm 2013
It's only 3.5 hours. It's an easy drive across I-70. But one thing my mom said tonight, and made it perfectly clear, is that she's not visiting. All I can say to that is that's her choice, not mine.
Thanks, girl. I tried to get her to admit both "sides" are at fault -- both MH & I and my parents. She just always blames me and MH. Unfortunately during all of this she has never admitted her errors or apologized. I don't have high hopes for that changing now.
BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11.
***BFP Chart***
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
Your thoughts are exactly the same as mine tonight. I am hoping what little she actually let me say sinks in and she realizes that she's not going to be seeing Abby or DD#2 and any future grandkids ever again. I would hope that would be enough for her to still have a relationship with me. Like you said, that's her choice though, not mine, so whatever she chooses she's got to live with. I've left the door open to have a relationship and tell her we want her in our kids' lives. Ball is in her court.
DS born Oct. '11
TTC #2 with PCOS since Nov. '13
Dx: Low Progesterone (3.3) on 8/12/14
Waiting for RE appointment on 10/28/14
Surprise BFP on cycle 12 -- 10/19/14!
EDD July 1, 2015
I am sorry you are having to deal with your mom acting this way, on top of trying to organize a move.
On a smaller scale, I know how you are feeling. We are trying to move a little further than where my mom would like, and every time we tell her we are looking at houses in a certain city/town, she starts acting like such a little baby. Complaining about how we will not have a relationship like she did w/ her mom.. basically laying on the guilt trip.
I hope your mom realizes that she's acting very immaturely (is that a word?) and that she snaps out of it for at least the sake of her grandkids. GL and remember, if she chooses not to visit, that is her loss, not yours.
I am so sorry
HUGS
it sounds like you guys are definitely making the right decision. If your mother decides to not be a part of your life (or your precious children's lives) then it is a huge loss for her.
We have a similar situation with my ILs (although they live in the same town and just choose not to be a part of our lives). It is hard, and I get really sad thinking about it, but I am trying to accept their decision to not be involved and appreciate those who are involved with us and DD.
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage
BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16
Oh honey!
Most reactions I find our out of fear. She needs time to adjust to the idea. She is afraid of losing you and your LOs to your in-laws and distance. Perhaps in a couple days you can call her back and eventually work out a visiting schedule.
If she didn't care so much, she would not have such a reaction. Have you told her you were thinking of moving or was this kind of just sprung on her?
(HUGS)
4 Clomid cycles BFN's,3 injectible cycles BFN, 3 failed IUI's
Hystroscopy to remove cysts 11/2010
IVF #1 with ICSI Graydon Dane born Oct. 23, 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks.
Surprise BFP 10/9/12. Blighted ovum at 8wks. D&C 11/1/12.
Surprise BFP#2 TWINS!!! Boy/Girl twins.
Hi! Nope, other direction on I70. Hope the girls are doing good and your son too!
You're in OP now, right?
Everyone is doing well (right now). I swear we have had nearly every illness under the sun. It's exhausting and it breaks me down a little more with each illness. But it's all just childhood stuff/colds, so they are building up great little immune systems!
I'm so sorry it went badly, kujay. I hope that when she's had some time to calm down and get used to the idea things will improve. As you say, though, the important thing is that you're making the best decision for your family right now, and leaving the door open to have a good relationship with your parents if they so choose. I hope they choose it! (Although I'm sure it will take lots of time to get over all the hurt feelings.)
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013