Made a mistake w/ DH

kescalera · February 2013

So last night, when LO woke up for the midnight diaper change/feeding/pumping session, he was super pissed off & screamed the entire time. I tried to pump & feed him at the same time but he was kicking/wiggling due to tummy bubbles and kept knocking the bottle out of his mouth, the pump off my boobs, etc. DH was sleeping like a rock right next to us & didn't even twitch an eyelash.

Every morning he wakes up & apologizes for not waking up & helping me during the night but says he's just soooo tired he needs to sleep.

I was so mad last night (like every night) I was sitting there looking at him while LO screamed & I just wanted to kick him repeatedly until he woke up. Instead I got done pumping, calmed down LO, etc & sent him a text to get it all off my chest so I didn't wake up still pissed. I tried to explain that I was mad at him out of frustration & i understood he was tired but I was also working full-time, sleeping in 1 1/2 - 3 hour blocks & getting up 2 - 3 times a night to pump/feed without any help and I really needed his help or this was just not going to work. We both really want LO to have breastmilk as long as possible but feeding from the breast wasn't working so pumping is our Plan B...

While I got the standard hug & kiss this morning before I left for work, DH hasn't said much else to me today and I feel like I screwed up telling him how upset i was. I know by text doesn't sound real great but he wasn't going to wake up so I could scream at him & if i didn't get it out somehow I was going to hit him.

Today sucks

Peggy Olson · February 2013

WAKE HIM UP TO HELP YOU.

I can totally understand letting your DH sleep if you stay home and he works or if you're nursing and the only one able to feed LO. This isn't the case so your DH needs to help. If he's sleeping, too bad. Have him feed and take care of LO while you pump.

agatha1320 · February 2013

I think it's good to tell dh if you're mad and frustrated...communication really is key! If he can help even a lil so you get more sleep it'll be better for the whole fam in the end.

so72409 · February 2013

I think that was extremely courteous of you to text it to him. I mean, you let him stay sleeping, right? He should be first thanking you and second apologizing for not helping you out! Like PP said, MAKE HIM HELP YOU!

kescalera · February 2013

Peggy Olson:
WAKE HIM UP TO HELP YOU.
I can totally understand letting your DH sleep if you stay home and he works or if you're nursing and the only one able to feed LO. This isn't the case so your DH needs to help. If he's sleeping, too bad. Have him feed and take care of LO while you pump.

That's part of the problem... he won't/can't wake up. He has issues with sleep walking, not remembering, or just plan falling asleep wherever he is. I've found him face down on the garage floor before. Once he's asleep you could drop a bomb in our room & he wouldn't know it. It would take an additional half hour just to wake him up to help feed for 10 min =(

Peggy Olson · February 2013

That sounds like a medical problem. Has he seen his doctor and is he receiving treatment? If not, he needs to ASAP.

Beth.1212 · February 2013

kescalera:
Peggy Olson:
WAKE HIM UP TO HELP YOU. 
I can totally understand letting your DH sleep if you stay home and he works or if you're nursing and the only one able to feed LO. This isn't the case so your DH needs to help. If he's sleeping, too bad. Have him feed and take care of LO while you pump.  
That's part of the problem... he won't/can't wake up. He has issues with sleep walking, not remembering, or just plan falling asleep wherever he is. I've found him face down on the garage floor before. Once he's asleep you could drop a bomb in our room & he wouldn't know it. It would take an additional half hour just to wake him up to help feed for 10 min =( 

I second the PP who said to get DH's dr involved if he's not already. If there really is NO way for DH to help at night, then he needs to step up in other ways, like doing much of the cooking, cleaning, etc. so that you have time to nap during the late afternoon / early evening. He should also be buying you flowers and telling you daily how amazing you are and how grateful he is :

I hope that things get better for you!

egingras · February 2013

Yeahhh...he needs to get that checked out. Because I totes would've kicked him last night.

jenyjeny · February 2013

Oh man, you're a better woman than I am. I would have totally kicked him. That's incredibly frustrating!! He's lucky all he got was a text.

Notwifezilla7 · February 2013

Where's the mistake?

It's incredibly frustrating being sleep deprived and watching someone sleep peacefully. I think, like the others have said, you need to have a real talk about this. I understand he may have some sleep issue, but how does he wake up in time for the day? Perhaps he can take the early morning shift to give you a bit more of sleep?

Do NOT FEEL BAD!

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · February 2013

Peggy Olson:
WAKE HIM UP TO HELP YOU.
I can totally understand letting your DH sleep if you stay home and he works or if you're nursing and the only one able to feed LO. This isn't the case so your DH needs to help. If he's sleeping, too bad. Have him feed and take care of LO while you pump.

this exactly.

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