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Not to be a negative Nelly, but had a freak out after bad dream.

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
in Pregnant after 35

Hi all,

 I am new to the posting board although I've been reading on here for the last few weeks.  I'll be 41 when our Baby Bean is born and I was truly okay with my age; I had to be, we chose IVF.

I am currently 10 weeks, 3 days and I am scheduled for my NT scan in two weeks. I clicked on the amniocentesis tab on one of the websites because my doctor thinks I should have one regardless of the NT scan results due to my age.  That might not have been the best idea :-(

I had a horrible dream about it all last night and now am terrified that I am carrying a baby with chromosomal defects.  I know we can deal with whatever we get and we want this baby so badly, but my husband thinks we should find out, just to be prepared.

I come on this site to read everyone in their 40's success stories and don't want to bring the board down, because I believe in positive thoughts, but did any one else go through this? 

Thanks in advance! 

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Re: Not to be a negative Nelly, but had a freak out after bad dream.

  • Kmape36Kmape36 member
    Worrying is all part of pregnancy (and parenthood for that matter).  It makes you a good mom already.  :)  You'll probably worry every step of the way for 40 weeks...i know i have.  But the fact is that you cant change anything by worrying.  Lots of women go on to have healthy babies well into their 40s so just because you are technically considered "advanced maternal age" doesn't mean your baby wont be healthy.  Just try to enjoy the pregnancy ride...it will be over before you know it.  ;)  I didnt have an amnio but would have if any of my screens had been abnormal.  I'm like your husband...just wanted to be prepared for anything.  Here's hoping you are carrying a healthy baby.  Good luck!!!
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  • footnotegirlfootnotegirl member

    Absolutely everyone goes through this. At one point, my husband caught me looking at probability tables AGAIN and threatened to cut off the internet!

    I was 40 when I found out I was pregnant. Due to three negative pregnancy tests and very very mild symptoms, my pregnancy wasn't 'caught' until a regular doctors appointment at 26 weeks. At the first ultrasound later that day, an echogenic foci was found in the fetal heart. This is a soft marker for Downs and my perinatologist informed us in the absolutely worst way. Instead of saying "Your chances of having a baby with Downs was at .7%, and is now at 1.4%" she said "this doubles your chances of having a baby with Downs." 

    Cue internal and later external freak out. 

    Even though we could not have changed anything by that point, we decided to go ahead with an amniocentesis. It was too late by then for any of the other tests. We wanted to be prepared for any eventuality. I had my amnio at 36 weeks (figuring that then the big risk was premature delivery, not miscarriage) and within 48 hours was contacted with the test results showing no chromosomal abnormalities. 

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  • technigirltechnigirl

    I'm 38, and I have been through this, particularly with the pregnancy I had with my daughter, which followed a miscarriage.  I worried day in and day out in that pregnancy, up until I hit about 25 weeks or so, at which point I did relax a bit.  But as a PP mentioned, worrying won't change anything.  That thought actually got me through the pregnancy with DD and the early weeks of this pregnancy.  Worrying is also something that is part of parenthood  (I still occasionally look in on my daughter to make sure she is breathing, believe it or not, and she's 2!).  

    Have you thought about doing one of the new blood genetic tests like MaterniT21 or Harmony?  If you tested negative on those, you could avoid the amnio and have the definitive peace of mind that the NT cannot give you.  If you're in the US, it should be available, although it might not be covered by insurance.   I was told it would cost $235 if my insurance did not cover it (but mine did).   It was a big weight off my shoulders when I got the negative test results (and as a bonus they also let you know the gender).  I believe you can get it done starting at 10 weeks.  I think it would be worth checking out for you.  Good luck and keep us posted!

    Melissa 

    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
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  • AmyM72AmyM72 member
    Most of us have struggled with this to some extent I think. I know for us we were prepared to go forward with CVS testing, but then got excellent results with our NT scan first tri bloodwork and decided not to do it since everything looked normal. I looked at it as if the NT and blood work showed my risk as more than the risk of miscarraige from the invasive test I would do it, but otherwise skip it. It all seems very gloom and doom but if you look at the number as a percentage instead of a ratio you still have about a 99 chance of a perfectly normal. baby. Good luck, I know it is very hard and we all want to know for certain that everything will be OK.
    About me:AMA 41 BFP 8/1/12 EDD 4/8/12 Found no Heartbeat 9/5/12 D&C 9/12/12

    BFP 12/13/12 EDD 8/22/13 Lilah Ruby born 8/8/13

    http://lb1f.lilypie.com/zdSMm7.png
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  • tashadee75tashadee75

    I'm 37 and was so worried about genetic testing and screening but all went well. In addition, I have a friend who's 44 and she has a healthy two year old son. 

    Try not to OVER worry because honestly it is hard NOT to worry at all.

    In the next few weeks I'm expecting you to post a thread letting us all know that all is well. :-) 

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member

    Thanks, all!  My husband tries to be supportive but doesn't quite get the pressure I feel already :-)   (yes, I guess that is parenthood, right?)  He tells me "not to worry," and "all will be fine."  I have to get back into that mode as worrying will not change things.  I'll post after the NT scan- 22 February.  

     I have looked into the Harmony test, but haven't had a chance to talk it over with my doctor yet.  I heard the results weren't as conclusive as a amnio, but if I get good results with NT scan, I think I'd rather go that route, unless I wait until a bit later as one mommy posted.  

     Thanks again; I really do want to enjoy this pregnancy; it may very well be my only, so will get back to positive thoughts!

     Have a good evening! 

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  • danuli8danuli8 member
    Late to the thread, but hek, I just want to echo what everyone else said: it's normal to worry and it is a sign that you truly care about the pregnancy and about your baby. And I am convinced that your individual health status is much more important than how old you happen to be, so please don't let your age get you down. If you were healthy pre-pregnancy, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that all will be well. The Harmony test is >99% accurate for T21 (Down's) and almost as good on the other two trisomies, as shown in this brochure Harmony gives to medical providers: https://www.ariosadx.com/for-providers/rep_617_v3_0812_web_pdf.pdf And there is no risk of miscarriage as there is with an amniocentesis, so you might want to go with an NT scan first and see what it says before doing additional testing.
    image
    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
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  • EMF70EMF70 member
    imagetechnigirl:

    Have you thought about doing one of the new blood genetic tests like MaterniT21 or Harmony?  If you tested negative on those, you could avoid the amnio and have the definitive peace of mind that the NT cannot give you.  If you're in the US, it should be available, although it might not be covered by insurance.   I was told it would cost $235 if my insurance did not cover it (but mine did).   It was a big weight off my shoulders when I got the negative test results (and as a bonus they also let you know the gender).  I believe you can get it done starting at 10 weeks.  I think it would be worth checking out for you.  Good luck and keep us posted! 

    My baby didn't cooperate for the NT Scan so the doctor had me take the NT scan instead of trying the NT again.  It's supposed to be 99% effective for women over 35 so it can replace the amnio.

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  • Watergirl21Watergirl21 member
    With my both my pregnancies I skipped all the extra tests. With my first I was almost full term when my sil sent me a forward/ email story about a women who has a downs baby. It completely freaked me out and I started having dreams that there was something wrong with the baby. But she came out perfectly fine... A lot of worrying for nothing... Worrying sucks but is completely normal.
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  • dragonfly711dragonfly711 member
    Hello I am 10 weeks 6 days. I just turned 39 hubby will be 41 in 2 weeks. I am going in a week for genetic testing. We are concerned sice we are older and hubby has a nephew that is Downs.
    We are going to so all non invasive tests but do not think we will do amnio. We are going to keep our little peanut no matter what so we do t feel we should do amnio since there is that chance of miscarriage with it. Only way we will do it is if Dr says we have too.
    image



    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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