My SIL asked my DD (she will be 3 at the time of the wedding) to be a flower girl in her wedding this summer. We looked at dresses at a bridal store and they were pretty expensive and in my opinion not really age appropriate for a 2/3 year old little girl. Originally she told me I could chose a dress for her to wear. She said she did not care what it looked like as long as I liked it and DD liked it. I proceeded to buy a dress that I thought was appropriate and she said she liked it. Later, she decided she wanted her to wear an all ivory dress. I was frustrated, but searched around anyways for an ivory dress. I sent her 15 options and apparently she didn't like any because she asked me if I would be ok with her wearing one of the original dresses she found in the bridal store. To me this dress looked like a neglige and was definitely more of a junior bridesmaid dress. She is only two and I think she should wear something that looks like a two year old not a ten year old. Not too mention the dress was pretty expensive. Im not really sure what to do at this point. I know it is her wedding but she is my daughter. Who has the final say here? Should I push back and possibly offend her by telling her its not age appropriate and I don't want to spend that kind of money on something I don't like?
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Re: Flower girl dress?
Is the dress your SIL chose one that could be made a little more age appropriate by adding a short sleeve cardigan or a little shrug? That might be a good compromise as far as style.
As for price, I wouldn't spend more than you and your DH are comfortable with. I would tell SIL what your budget is and let her decide if the dress she picked is important enough to her that she's willing to make up the difference or if she's willing to compromise to stay in your budget.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
When my DD was 2 we bought an Easter dress and used it as a flower girl dress. It was affordable and pretty.
I wouldn't spend that much money on a dress she's going to wear once when you can get something else nice for much less. I would tell her that you would like to stick within a certain budget.
I hate the "it's the bride's day" rationale. Sorry, but a wedding really isn't just about the bride. And then it's followed by "pay whatever the bride wants". Yeah, sorry, but don't go over your budget for a flower girl dress. If you can't/don't want to pay what the bride's choice of dresses is, tell her. She will either pay the difference or go with a cheaper option.
FWIW, I told my flower girls that they could choose their own dresses as long as they were ivory or cranberry colored. We found gorgeous dresses at Burlington Coat Factory. The most expensive one was $20. And frankly, I thought that was pushing my limits for a dress they may never wear again!
If you are really offended by the dress and do not want your daughter wearing it then i would tell you SIL how you feel.
If its just about the money i would probably bit the bullet and buy it and resell it after the wedding. Unless of course you truly can not afford it. Then i would tell the bride what my budget is and if she wants to cover the difference then buy all means she can. But then you cant resell it.
When is the wedding? Whats the last day you can order the dress? If about to be easter and all those little easters are going to go on sale pretty soon. Maybe you can find something that you like and the bride would like too.
What does she love about the dress? The shape of it? The color? Is there another flower girl that she wants DD to match too?
I know its fustrating, but try not to get to upset. Remeber what it was like to be a bride? And you wanted everything just so, and you are so stressed out? Try to cut the bride some slack if you can.