Sleeping when LO sleeps

lgleyze · February 2013

LO is almost two weeks old and I've been trying to sleep when she sleeps, but it is almost impossible. She usually doesn't want to sleep anywhere but in my arms, and when I do get her to sleep in her bassinet, I can't relax because I'm scared to death she's going to stop breathing or choke on spit up etc (first time mom, here!) My mom has been staying with us and watching her some at night and I'm so nervous for when she leaves. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that everyone else goes through this and it's doable and gets easier?? Any tips?

Peachkew143 · February 2013

If you are really nervous, get an
Angelcare monitor. I was nervous leaving ds in his crib right away so I order this monitor even though we had a video monitor. I think it was worth the 60 for a peace of mind. Good luck!!

mlivingston519 · February 2013

I'm a first time mom too, and it does get better! My LO will be 8 weeks tomorrow so those early weeks are not to far removed. I was a very hard sleeper before becoming a mom and at 4 weeks we moved LO to her crib in her room. I turn on her monitor (we have a video one) and I hear every noise she makes and I can roll over and look at her too.

I know it seems impossible right now but what you always heard is true... moms are super human and somehow you just do it. I can't even tell you how I made it through the last 8 weeks but somehow we did. You can do it!

Just remember the most important thing you can do is trust your self and ask for HELP when you need it! Don't feel guilty if you need a break or just need someone to come over to hold her while you do some house work. We do what we have to do. I took LO to my moms last week for the day so I could come back home and get paper work done that had been lacking. I felt a little guilty, but once I got what needed to be done done, I was able to devote my attention to LO.

Good luck!

smileytr@excite.com · February 2013

It really does get easier. I had a complete meltdown our first night home with LO. I told my DH that I couldn't go to sleep because someone had to stay awake and make sure LO never stopped breathing. I eventually feel asleep, probably from pure exhaustion. Try your best to let your LO sleep while you either get something done or rest yourself. Your LO will be fine - great, even! Good luck!

mhaley1107 · February 2013

I'm a FTM too and I think it's normal to be nervous in the beginning. My LO is now 12 weeks old but for the first several weeks I was like you. I had the bassinet right next to me and would constantly check to make sure she was ok. When she would fall asleep in her bouncer, I would try to sleep in the couch next to her to get some rest. But that didn't usually work. Now she's sleeping in her crib and I have the video monitor on her all night. My nerves have calmed down and yours will do. Try to relax and know that it will get easier down the road!

dande2129 · February 2013

It does get easier, but I still worry about DS. I think as mothers, we are just hard wired to worry. If you feel that your worry is overwhelming and you aren't taking care of yourself because of it, I'd talk to your doctor about anxiety. There's a difference between being a new mom (whether it's your first or your fifth) and worrying about things that are out of your control, but it's another thing entirely to have it consume you.

saturdaynightdoubletree · February 2013

It gets easier. As a FTM I was always in a panic that LO wasn't breathing or would cry and I'd be too deep in sleep to wake up, I even used to have these terrible realistic nightmares. Unfortunately only time healed that, and me constantly talking myself down. It's 2 weeks new still... Hormones probably aren't helping or lack of sleep. It will get easier. Even if you aren't sleeping while LO sleeps, at least try to put your feet up and rest.

jobiann · February 2013

I was the same 5 weeks ago...you get over it when you get tired enough. Plus after a week or two of you waking up and them being just fine boosts your comfort level.

Hang in there!

Mrs.AmyDylan · February 2013

I chose to cosleep until my DD was one month. Now she sleeps in the bassinet right next to me. However, I made sure to research Cosleeping so I could remove as many dangers as possible. I'm also a very light sleeper and don't move in my sleep.

laura1 · February 2013

Peachkew143:
If you are really nervous, get an
Angelcare monitor. I was nervous leaving ds in his crib right away so I order this monitor even though we had a video monitor. I think it was worth the 60 for a peace of mind. Good luck!!

This!!! My angelcare is the only reason I have gotten any sleep in the last 4 years! I used it for all 3 kids, and it was worth every penny I paid and more!

lakreuz · February 2013

Get the Snuza Hero! I'm a FTM too and it gives me a lot of peace of mind. The device clips onto his diaper and alarms if he hasn't moved for 20 seconds. Haven't had any false alarms yet, and I sleep a lot better with the reassurance. I have an Angelcare Monitor, but we don't actually use that yet since he's still in our room. He sleeps in the Rock and Play, or the Arm's Reach Cosleeper (whichever works that night) so we can't really set up the monitor yet with those. We'll use that when he transitions to his crib.

lgleyze · February 2013

Thanks for the responses and advice everyone!

LittleFish1 · February 2013

kbruington:
I hated hearing "sleep when the baby sleeps". SHUT UP people, that is really freaking hard to do!!!! ;
Unfortunately you are just going to be tired for a while. Get help from anyone who is willing and try to relax. Inbsp;was stressednbsp;for the first 4 months and I was a basket case. When they are that young, you are at their mercy. If she needs to sleep in your arms, let her.nbsp;It gets better, I promise!

This. Had LO sleep in my moms arms, or other trusted visitors or DH and I took shifts holding the first 3 weeks, then he went back to work and more utilized his Aunt and trusted cousin to help with holding while I went and napped. Got comfortable with taking everyother nap with LO. We rearranged so a big arm chair is in the bedroom because I was getting really lonely for having other people around and couldn't take being by myself 80 of a 24hr period. For me, every 2 weeks I notice things have gotten better than they were 2 weeks ago. LO is 9 weeks today, my anxiety from the first few weeks has VASTLY improved. I think a lot of it for me was the hormones, lack of sleep, wanting to fix it every time LO cries and being isolated out of necessity. Helped me to get out of the house with DH and LO even if the two of us stayed in the car while DH ran into Starbucks. Experiencing sucesses with LO builds on itself. Give it time, you're still early on. Talk with your SO and mom about your fears might take a while to be able to verbalize your concerns and feelings, that is ok.

Mitsya · February 2013

kbruington:
I hated hearing "sleep when the baby sleeps". SHUT UP people, that is really freaking hard to do!!!!

AFREAKINGMEN!! By that logic, I should be eating when the baby eats & pooping when he does, too, right?! I've never been a napper, so I have to be pretty run down to actually sleep whether my son is or not. I do use naptime to check my email, drink a nice cup of tea, lie down & read, generally do whatever I want that relaxes & rests me a bit. I make a point NOT to do laundry or clean as much as humanly possible. The baby doesn't, so I shouldn't either! ;o)

Bride-hilda · February 2013

My son was the same way and I was terrified of SIDS too. But in the last few days I've really started to realize that I needed to relax.

My son won't sleep unless he's in his car seat, in someone's arms, or swaddled. Swaddling saved my life.

Don't worry. In a few days things will calm down and you'll adapt to your new sleep schedule, (or lack thereof,) and you'll be able to breathe easier.

Kingston54 · February 2013

Never worked for me. I slept at night and that was it - same this time. I am not a big napper and when he slept during the day, I did other things.

snoopy4283 · February 2013

My LO is now 12 weeks old and like you and the rest of the moms that have commented it is tough to get in the swing of things. The only tip of advice that I can give which I think saved my sanity was my husband and i made an arrangement early on. He would stay up with the LO and do bottle feedings until about 12 - 1a so I could sleep from 7p - 1a. Getting a few hours of uninterupted sleep. where I knew she was being looked after, really helped me to get a grasp on myself again.

By about 8 weeks I knew I would be going back to work soon we wanted to start a routine of exclusively having her sleep in her crib. We purchased a motorola video monitor and established a bedtime routine. Now we are at 12 weeks and she has really fallen into the routine and has been sleeping through the night.

Just remember that things will settle down and a routine will emerge. Just try and relax and and things will come together! Good Luck!

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