NB and 4yo help!

luckymom3 · February 2013

I know it's completely normal and DS2 has only been home since Friday but does anyone have any tips for helping DS1, who is 4, cope with all the changes?

i had a c section so it's hard for me to do a lot, winter, and of course DS2 constantly needs my attention (breast feeding, diapers, etc) so DS1 is acting out for our attention. He peed his pants at school today, got into trouble a lot and has just been downright ignoring us. His teachers are being very sympathetic and we are trying to as we'll but I feel like all we do is butt heads.

DH is wonderful, but he couldn't take any vacation so he has to work, thus limited attention there too. Just wondering if anyone had any tips for helping DS1 adjust to life with a new baby. TIA

candr09 · February 2013

My DD is 2 so not the same age as your LO, but I try to include her as much as possible and make sure to spend some one on one time with her every single day.

She'll sit on the couch with us while I'm nursing DS and I'll read to her. I'll put DS I the bouncer and DD will put on shows for him, singing and dancing and showing him toys. When DS goes down for a nap I let DD pick and activity and take that time to really focus on her.

Hope that helps.

Gipper0809 · February 2013

I'm sorry things are rough for you right now. I have a 4.5 year old, 16 month old and a 2 month old. Good times!

My DD (oldest) was 3 when DS1 was born and it was very rough. Lots of meltdowns and she thought I was going to leave her anytime I went anywhere--I think due to my hospital stay and subsequent readmittance. It took a few months and things eventually got better.

Now after DS2, she's handling things better in terms of melting down and tantrums but she's super sassy and pushing the limits of what she knows is allowed. We've been trying to hold the line and be consistent with discipline with her and also showing some grace when we can. I try to accommodate her anytime I can, even if it means the wee one screams for a couple of minutes--I don't want her to always be neglected because of her baby brother(s). We spend intentional one on one time with her every evening. I make a huge deal whenever she helps out and I often give her a job to do. Then I lavish on the praise and tell her how proud I am.

Things will eventually settle down. Try to keep the routine as normal as possible. Say yes as often as you can. Be consistent with your discipline. And if you're the praying type--that can never hurt! Good luck!

Jimsgirl5821 · February 2013

Just try to include her in caring for baby and while the baby is asleep do something with her...cuddle and watch her favorite show, color, etc. I have. 3.5 y/o DD and a 3 m/o DS. It was rough at first, I'm not going to lie. DD would be super hyper for attention, have whiny screaming fits, etc. it is soooo much better now. Just give lots of hugs and love, keep her chedule she is use to and still discipline when required, don't let bad behavior slide. That was my mistake at first because I felt guilty. It will fall into place or you all. Good luck!

Kingston54 · February 2013

DS is 2 and we are just making him a helper and giving him a lot of attention! So far, so good.

tiphoni02 · February 2013

This sounds exactly like my 3 year old. I found that a lot of the stuff mentioned above worked but he still doesn't want a part in it and DS is almost 6 weeks old. I think I have had the most success with mom and son outings. Even if its just the store. We took him to the aquarium and tapped into his interests and left baby home. This made him feel really special. Good luck

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