Before I ask question I'd like to say that I'm posting it for a reason: I'd like to get other opinions. With that being said I just please ask that everyone be kind no matter what your stand may be - and everyone's entitled to their own opinion and I respect all of them.
Situation: Working mom, due to hard work I qualified for an all expense paid trip to Maui by my company. Awesome, right? Welll....here's the problem. I'm due July 1 and the trip dates are from Aug 9 - 14. My company won't let you take it at another time, cash it in, or give to anyone else. Which leaves me with 2 choices
1.) Take a NICE vacation by myself (DH suggested staying at home with baby and our parents can help with our 2 yr old) and take a much needed break (that I think all new moms deserve!)
OR
2.) Stay at home with newborn of one month (which is also wonderful!!)
...and Possibly a third choice which I haven't looked much into: Taking DH and baby with me
I've been going back and forth and back and forth on this and it's agonizing. I just wanted to get the opinions of those who have ever faced a situation like this or know anyone who has. Let's be real, the first choice is selfish but after this rough pregnancy, work, LIFE, etc. I'd like to think I deserve a trip. (Side note: Yes, HI will always be there but I can guarantee that DH who is a homebody and Frugal Frankie will never take me there so I feel as though it's my only chance.) Also, I think of moms who HAVE to go back to work that early or leave for business trips that early, family emergencies, etc. Would it really be that bad?
Since this isn't my first rodeo I'd like to think I won't be as neurotic as I was the first time around and would be able to leave sweet baby for less than a week but also I have no idea how I'll really feel until the time comes. what is I don't want to leave that little nugget?
So have at it ladies and let me know what you think! And again, please be kind. I'm just looking for other opinions, stories, etc.
Re: In your opinion: When is it ok to leave baby for overnight stays?
Personally I wouldn't go. Are you planning on breast feeding?
Babies don't stay babies very long but Maui isn't going anywhere.
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If it were me, I'd either not go or take the whole family. I can't imagine leaving my LO at home barely a month after he enters the outside world. Because of my loathing of airports (and how dirty they are for fragile babies), I'd probably end up deciding not to go.
Sucks that your work is offering this to you NOW instead of earlier or later!
I generally wouldn't leave a breastfed NB overnight until maybe 3m or so. I also don't see myself having anything near a "relaxing" vacation in Maui by myself at 4 to 5w pp with my husband, newborn and toddler at home.
You have to do what's best for you, though.
I had a friend leave her 1 month old and go to Hawaii, granted she was very young and the trip was planned before she got pregnant. I think you have to answer a few questions:
Will you be breast feeding? If so, are you ok with formula and pumping when there?
Do you completely trust whoever will stay with the baby?
Can you bring a friend instead of going by yourself?
It also doesn't seem like it's a terribly long trip either, if it was 2 weeks that might be a bit much, but 5 days doesn't seem unreasonable.
I hope this helps the thought process!
Thanks for your feedback and being kind ladies!
To answer some of your questions:
-BF is a goal however last time it was difficult for me. I was only able to do so until 2 weeks before I had to supplement and by 6 weeks he was full on formula because I wasn't producing enough
-I totally trust DH to take care of baby, so that's not an issue to me at all.
-DH would also be paid for and I doubt they'd charge me for an infant
These are all great things to think about. Thanks again for your feedback, being kind and not making me like a total and horrible mom. I appreciate it more than you all know!
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I would take DH and baby or not go.
If you are goin to try to BF, pumping while on the trip isn't going to be as great as actually being with the baby.
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I would try and take DH and newborn. Maybe your older child can stay home with grandma and grandpa (which might be exciting for him/her anyway). And while a trip with a newborn might not be AS relaxing... it would probably be pretty great anyway.
If that doesn't seem to work then I would still consider going with DH. baby will only be 4 weeks old... so it does seem difficult to leave for that long though. I would say you probably know best how you'll be since you already have been through infant stages. How did you feel when your old child was 4 weeks old? do you think you would have been okay leaving then? maybe this will give you some insight.
You all make great points. If baby was at least 2-3 months I wouldn't even think twice about it and leave both with the Grandparents! Remembering how I was last time there's no way I would have been able to leave a 1 month old, plus I suffered from a bit of PP. Unsure and a little scared of how I'll feel this time but who knows? I could be ready for a vacation! ha!
Take the family and GOOOOOO!!!
We were just in Maui with DD at 6 months and it was AWESOME. We saw literally 10 - 15 couples a day vacationing with babies as young as 3 weeks. Sure, the trip is different but still fun.
I highly recommend! We looked up lots of places like Baby Beach (seriously, that is what is called,) and there was another beach that had a little protected cove and like 2 feet of water. We just put her on out tummies and poked and umbrella in the sand and hung out.
Other couples just baby wore and chugged along. It is pretty baby friendly - and the locals LOVE babies.
If you want to escape leave baby with DD and go see the sites without him and trade off. Or take the grands with you and dump both kids on them for a few hours a day.
I say, "Maui or bust! Baby and all!"
This! You are definitely not a horrible mom for not wanting to pass on this opportunity. I also think it kind of sucks that your company gives it to you now and doesn't let you take it any other moment/change it with somebody else.
I would leave the toddler with the grandparents though.
I wouldn't go unless all of us could go.
I didn't leave DS until 18 months. Which is later than lots of people, but was right for us. No way on earth could I have left at a month.
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I would pass. At 4 weeks PP you wont even be cleared to swim yet. I could never leave a baby that young. When DS started sleeping in his own room at three months I felt like he was too far away for the first several nights.
If you're serious about BFing this time, this trip without baby is just not possible. Even supplementing/FF it's a long time. I left DS for four days at 14 months to help my sister through emergency surgery and it was really hard on him. He cried a lot while I was gone and after I got back he'd cry every time I left the room for the next month, when before he was content to play and explore on his own for 30-40 minutes at a time.
Pits just not worth it to me. Like PP said, babies are babies for such a short time. Maui isn't going anywhere.
This. And I also would not travel with a one month old.
I would offer the trip to someone else.
Edit
Sorry just reread and saw that you cannot give it to someone else. I still would not go. Stinks but the timing just isn't good.
5 weeks PP in bikini weather does not sound like a fabulous vacation to me!
The whole thought of leaving my family and newborn to go to Maui by myself just seems a bit odd to me. We went to Maui last June and it wasn't so amazing that I would leave my family for it. They would come with or I wouldn't go.
I wouldn't leave a one month old for that long.
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I think bringing the newborn and hubster is a great idea. The 2 year old wouldn't get much out of it, and when the newborn needs you, you'll be there. Not sure if you're breastfeeding? Also, considering it's your second, you would be AMAZED at how low-maintenance a newborn is. I mean, it's not the same as not having a baby with you, but they constantly sleep, wake up to eat, and OUT.
Good luck with your decision.
If you do end up going Maui Revealed is a good guide book.
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We went away for a weekend when DD was 7 weeks old. I breastfed just fine. There's this great invention called a breast pump. I vote Maui!
However, after reading that you're on the East Coast and it's only for 5 days, I'm not so sure. Maybe bring the family with you. We took a 10 hour flight when DD was just 5 weeks old and it was fine. She slept almost the whole time.
We're big world travelers though, and I simply can't understand women who don't leave their child ever. It actually baffles me that there are people out there who never left their child until they were over a year old. Shocking to me!
Well, it's shocking to me you could leave your 7 week old for a weekend. I seriously couldn't have dreamed of it. I'd much rather bring my baby than have to find a way to pump and pump and pump on "vacation".
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