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A tale of two showers...

Spacebunny19Spacebunny19 member
in 3rd Trimester

I went to 2 showers this weekend (neither for me, I'm a STM), and they were so different that it got me thinking: which type would you prefer as the MTB?  As a guest?

#1: Saturday:  Small shower at a relative of the MTB's house.  20 people or less, most relatives (I was one of only 3 non-relatives included.)  Still, they had everyone go around and say how they knew MTB, which helped a lot.  Lunch served (sandwiches etc.) buffet style.  No games, but the Grandma-to-be (MTB's mom) read a "devotional" which was sweet but also *hilarious*  (focused on what a challenge the MTB was as a baby and how she gets to experience this now as a mom herself) and the MTB read a letter she wrote from the perspective of her baby.  Very cute!  Presents opened, cake served, and time to chat with MTB afterwards. 

#2 Sunday:  HUGE shower (about 70 people) at the fellowship hall at our church.  I was actually helping host this one, but wasn't coordinating it and had no say in the guest list--MTB is in the choir and invited all the women (and the choir is HUGE) and most of them came, plus her friends, family, etc.  Buffet style food (but not full meal, although there was plenty to eat including salad, cheese, fruit, and dessert) and while people had barely started eating, MTB sat in front and opened presents for about two hours straight.  The only games (I had no part in this!) were Baby Present Bingo, the "don't say baby" game, and "what candy is in the diaper), which people were told to do while "mixing" in the beginning (before presents began).  Oh and a diaper raffle.  I enjoyed the company of my table (my friends) and was glad to have helped (I brought a lot of food and did centerpieces), but it seemed like the entire thing was just watching package after package get opened.

Even though I was part of "planning" #2, I honestly had a much better time at #1.  I'm glad MTB at #2 got a bazillion things (not to mention a bajillion diapers), but she really  had no time to talk to most of her guests as she was brought a plate of food while still mingling (we knew she wouldn't eat otherwise) and then spent the rest of the time as a present-opening-machine. (At one point she told me to take over.  I declined and went back to taking pictures.) When she finished everyone cleared out because they'd been sitting for two hours.  

What was your shower like?  Which would you have preferred to go to as MTB or guest? 

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Re: A tale of two showers...

  • doremi29doremi29 member

    Mine had about 30-40 people.  It was perfect.  Close friends, close co-workers, and family/friends of family.  Everyone was extremely generous and I was blown away by the amount of baby stuff we ended up with without having a huge guest list.  It was at my mom's house and my mom had it catered with simple stuff like wraps and salads.

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  • dande2129dande2129 member

    I would have definitely preferred the first. I'm more of a sentimental person, and I'd love to have those memories. I also get anxiety around a lot of people if I'm the center of attention, and that's how I felt at my shower with DS.

    Because this LO is FI's first biological child, his family wanted to throw a small sprinkle. It just close family and very close friends of ours, about 15 people, and his mother read a prayer, and we had plenty of time to eat and visit with the people we care about most. I felt zero anxiety, and just felt blessed. 

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  • resilient61resilient61 member
    #1 all the way! As MTB and guest.  I like small intimate gatherings that are more meaningful & aren't such a production.  DH, on the other hand, likes big parties & his family is huge, so even family gatherings are a production.  For both bridal & baby showers we did seperate ones for each side which each of our respective mothers planned (much to their delight) so we got the best of both worlds!
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  • guilletskichukguilletskichuk member

    I would prefer #1 as both a guest and MTB. #2 just sounds like too much of a production to me. The only thing I would want to add to #1 is a few games because, as cheesy as they are, I like them. lol

    I've been to a few showers (bridal and baby) like #2 as a guest and I felt the person of honour was very isolated and put on display. Neither woman got to socialize with her guests and it all really felt like the whole thing was all about the presents...which, I suppose is the purpose of the shower, but I don't care for the focus to be solely on that.

    Happily married to my Snorkelbutt - 07/31/10

    BFP #1 09/02/11  M/C 09/12/11 8w6days
    BFP #2 07/18/12 Baby S born on his EDD 03/23/13

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  • a13049a13049 member
    I would prefer shower number 1 as both the guest and MTB. I had lots of smaller shower with around 20 people instead of bigger showers. I preferred that because I could really take time with each of my guests.

     

     

     

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  • songs4drowningsongs4drowning
    I'd say the first, but I have a lot of issues with anxiety and large crowds are a trigger for me. My shower is Sunday and it sounds like it will be much like the first. It will be the ladies in DH's family, a handful of my friends that I'm closest to, and definitely less than 20 people. As a guest, I still prefer that kind of shower. I've been to both kinds and I always end up ducking out of the larger shower once I've congratulated the MTB and given her my gift.
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  • InkedMegsInkedMegs member

    I have never been to a shower like #1.  They've mostly been in restaurants or halls.  I've only ever seen the #1 shower on Pinterest!!

    My shower was also a bit more like #2, but I only had about 40 people and it was in a small, cozy restaurant.  I did hate opening the presents in front of everyone.  I wished that the hostesses had done a game during present opening to take some of the focus off of me, but they didn't.

    I made sure to mingle and walk around to or sit at the tables with the guests before we ate lunch.  It was definitely nice and I was glad to have my mom/MIL/sister/SIL able to relax and not worry about food being hot or trays being full or drinks being served.


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  • Spacebunny19Spacebunny19 member

    Yeah--the coordinator for #2 picked up where another lady dropped the ball, so nobody's really sure where the idea came from that we had to include the WHOLE choir.  I also had no say in the diaper raffle.  (As it was, the centerpieces I did were the receiving blankets wrapped around diapers--so she got at least a case from those alone.)  

    Either way, coordinator for #2 was a champ in doing all of it--but she & I both said it was like we ended up catering a wedding. (It only had 10 less people than my wedding reception.) 

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  • AFBTBAFBTB

    Holy cow! 70 people?! That's more people than there were at my wedding! Honestly, I don't understand why showers of any kind have such a huge grouping of people. Bridal or baby. My baby shower for DS was more like the first OP mentioned. I had maybe 15 people there. Family, friends and close co-workers. But DH's family wasn't there because they live on the East coast and we lived on the west coast.

    I would definitely prefer #1 as both a guest and as the MTB. A small shower gave me time to mingle with my guests. I would just add games to the first shower. I know some people don't like them, but I love them!

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  • keithsbridekeithsbride

    I will never have a small intimate shower. Well, actually I will never have another shower at all since I've been married for 10 years and I'm a STM but both of my previous showers were huge - as were any of the showers I have planned or attended. 

    I don't know if it's a regional thing - we don't do multiple showers where I live. There is one shower and my whole family is invited (I have 7 siblings and a million first cousins) and my husband's whole family is invited and all of our friends and co-workers. That is just the way it is. I was shocked to hear about people having one shower with friends, one shower with in-laws, etc.

     I would love to have had a small, intimate shower. 

    Daughter E 08/31/2005
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  • lizcruz81lizcruz81 member

    Definetly #1. My shower is coming up and I'm kinda not looking forward to it. I'm happy and bless to have so many people celebrating my baby, but I'm a very shy and intimate kinda person. The planning was out of my control, it is being plan by MIL and mom. MIL invited everyone and there grandma's, there are people coming that I have no clue who they are, but are friends of MIL. Family is also attending, which my husband has a big family. We are expecting about 75 guest. So I will most likely be running around like crazy, trying to make conversation with everyone.

    I will post how it went, but for now, I'm kinda hoping it turns out great and not a big mess.

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