can use a hug :(

star1123 · February 2013

I know I am being super emotional. So much is going on lately (nothing even really big, but just lots of little stuff) that my emotions are running like crazy.

But lately - I think my son pretty much hates me. I am at work crying right now during my lunch break over this. He is MAJORLY preferring DH over me. I mean, majorly. Pushing me aside, will barely let me touch him, asking for daddy all the time. If I try to do something like hand him a cup, he will say, "no want daddy."

Two or three weeks ago I majorly snapped at him, and I know it upset him. He was acting like a major brat, and a typical two year old, but I yelled at him and lost my patience. I feel insanely guilty, but I know it happens so trying not to beat myself up over it. It might seem silly to connect it to that, but it really does seem like since that incident, he has been different with me.

I don't know what I am expecting anyone to say. I just needed to get this off my chest before going back to class.

GrayGhost13 · February 2013

::hugs::

I think it's totally normal for kids to go through phases where they prefer one parent over another. Honestly, I doubt he even remembers you yelling at him.

I do understand the guilt though. I am still struggling with how to get this whole parenting thing right too, and when I have a bad day, of course, I worry about our relationship, but I keep reminding myself that I know DS loves me and this stage will pass just like any other.

Feel better soon, mama, and have a good day at class!

mommyfied · February 2013

It will go over..

If it is remotely related to the "breakout" your kid has the longest relation-memory I have ever heard of! Chance is that he just has a Daddy-phase.. I probably hurts like hell, but at the end of the day you ARE his mother, and nothing can change that.

*hugs*

lrn327 · February 2013

Ah, daddy-phases suck! I mean, they do at least to moms! I know how you feel and it will reverse. Hang in there but Left Hug

in the meantime.

jarebearsmom · February 2013

Daddy phases are the worse.... but Mommy phases are awful for Daddies. Just remember he DOES love you and this too shall pass ((hugs))

keags5496 · February 2013

Like PPs said, its def just a phase and it will pass. I understand the guilt thing, but I'm sure that he doesn't even remember you yelling at him. Plus, its our job as parents to let them know right and wrong and it sounds like that's all you were doing. Hugs and chin up!

Cheekers2010 · February 2013

You are doing just fine and your son definitely loves you. Please don't beat yourself up over a daddy phase. ((hugs))

xxbabycakesxx · February 2013

Awww =(. Its definitely a phase. Right now G is in a "only want mommy" phase so even though it can get irritating, I'm trying to soak it up. Before long I'm sure he'll be in a daddy only phase, which is hard to not take personally.

And totally don't beat yourself up over losing your cool. I lost it with G the other day and felt so incredibly guilty but it didn't seem to phase him.

*hugs*. Hopefully having a good cry helps.

EVM1216 · February 2013

Aww. It is a phase, and once you get that good cry out try to console yourself with the bit of free time that you get from the daddy phase. DS still loves you and will come around soon.

bosha711 · February 2013

mommyfied:
It will go over..
If it is remotely related to the "breakout" your kid has the longest relation-memory I have ever heard of! Chance is that he just has a Daddy-phase.. I probably hurts like hell, but at the end of the day you ARE his mother, and nothing can change that.
*hugs*

This!

Not to that extreme, but DS prefers MH over me for lots of things. Like, if he falls & hurts himself, he cries for daddy, even when he knows MH isn't even home & I'm right there comforting him. Or at dinner, if I try to help him eat, I get, "no! daddy help you!" (really, he means "daddy help me", but he gets "you" & "me" mixed up, lol.

Kellina · February 2013

Awwww he'll come around... Mine is going through a major mommy phase, and I feel awful for DH. He puts DS2 to bed most nights and he screams bloody murder for mommy EVERY TIME. It won't last I promise!!

janneann1127 · February 2013

Aw try not to take it to heart! We are in a major daddy phase right now too. If Daddy is anywhere in the vicinity, I'm not allowed to change his diaper, put him to sleep, etc. It's "no! Daddy do it!" At first, I had a little bit of hurt feelings. But now I'm trying to look at it as a positive. Less work for me! It's just a phase.

kj07 · February 2013

janneann1127:
Aw try not to take it to heart! We are in a major daddy phase right now too. If Daddy is anywhere in the vicinity, I'm not allowed to change his diaper, put him to sleep, etc. It's "no! Daddy do it!" At first, I had a little bit of hurt feelings. But now I'm trying to look at it as a positive. Less work for me! It's just a phase.

I couldn't find it, but about two years ago I read an essay about this very thing. The author's daughter was in a huge daddy phase and she felt so sad about it. Until she realized that it meant a little more freedom for her (she could finish an entire adult conversation at the neighborhood picnic for example). She was still sad, but it helped her get through the phase.

Non-creepy internet hugs to you!

jillybean800 · February 2013

Aw, I'm sorry. I agree with everyone else that it is just a phase. We get over daddy phases real quick around here as soon as he's sick. When the chips are down, I think kids return to wanting their moms.

I am sure he doesn't remember the yelling. I honestly lose my patience too, probably about once a week! It doesn't make you a bad person. Let's face it, they are really REALLY good at testing us and we don't have to pass every time

Strunella · February 2013

DS was all about Daddy last week. I'd go in to get him in the morning, and he'd say, "No! Daddy!" Ummm...what am I, chopped liver? I wanted to say, "Your darling Daddy is sleeping while Mommy got up to change your stinky butt!" Ha, ha! It does make me feel bad sometimes...like why doesn't he want me? But soon enough, he's trying to get away from DH. And don't feel bad about yelling...there's no way he remembers that incident.

enjoylife · February 2013

Creepy internet hugs...sorry I'm a couple days late. We have the same daddy idol over here too. I swear as soon as he was weaned I became chopped liver. I love seeing how close DH and him are, but I, like you, feel a bit left out sometimes when he obviously prefers H over me. I work 3 days/week but really long hours so on my days off we do tons of fun stuff - pinterest projects, zoo/park time, indoor play with toys. H does the same play time but he works fulltime and when he is home, I unfortunately take the back seat. I'm a nurse so whenever anybody is sick DH calls or looks to me for advice on what to do, but if A is sick he still prefers H to hold him/comfort when he falls. Like I said, I'm lucky to have such an involved H/daddy to help share the load of child rearing. I just really relish the times when A is "into" mom. I wouldn't worry too much about him remembering being snapped at. I frequently do it too, gotta love toddlers working our patience. I try and reign it in and communicate first but sometimes my reaction is faster than my brain. i hope its been better for you the last couple days

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