Working moms - nanny or daycare?

kristen6 · February 2013

I have an almost 3 year old who has been in daycare since he was 11 weeks old. We had a good experience with our daycare and had intended to put our second child in daycare as well. Once we found out we were having twins, we started talking about getting a nanny instead.

I haven't talked to daycare yet to find out what the cost is going to be. I guess the other thing I'm worried about is the possibility that they will come early and maybe I won't want them exposed to all the daycare germs so early (although my son will still be there for preschool and I'm sure we can't avoid it all together).

My question is, what did you decide and what were your major reasons for deciding that? I'm just trying to think it through. Thanks!

gault530 · February 2013

This is my exact situation except we have a 4 year old. We are leaning strongly towards a nanny because of the germ factor. I'm terrified of putting two babies especially if they're in the nicu in daycare with a lot of other kids. I also am not concerned with them needing to socialize until they are much older.

I've talked with a few MoMs and they all suggested a nanny.

pillowass · February 2013

We hired an Au Pair to take care of our twins. This is a program run by the state department where a (usually) young woman from another country lives with your family and cares for your children. You provide room and board, weekly salary, an educational stipend, and a cultural exchange experience for the Au Pair. It's definitely not for everyone since you have the person living with you but I think that there are many benefits.

It's by far the most affordable option in my area, where full time infant daycare is usually around $1,400 per month. Nannies for twins start at $15 per hour, plus taxes and turnover and health insurance - I did not want to have to deal with any of that.

It's weird to have someone living with you and the adjustment can be tough, but I am so exhausted that I don't have time to care - I am just so grateful for the help. Our Au Pair is a 25-year old preschool teacher with a Master's in Education. We absolutely adore her and so do our kids.

GL with your decision!

ghl · February 2013

We're in a similar situation with DS1 who will be nearly 4 when the twins come and is in preschool. He has been in daycare since he was 6 months old. We're not going to take him out of his current program since it's a routine he's comfortable with, has his friends at school, and is learning quite a bit. I'm hoping to stay home until the twins are about 4 months old before needing childcare. However, we're not sure what setting will be best and a lot of it comes down to balancing cost, convenience, and our personal comfort level with a caregiver.

We're generally comfortable with daycare settings because we like the multiple levels of oversight and so far have generally been happy with the quality of care and the caregivers in infant rooms. While it would be convenient to drop off all 3 kids in one place though, DS1's center would be cost prohibitive. We've looked at a second center which we were pretty happy with that is much more feasible cost-wise and is walking distance from home. We're also going to try to get recommendations for in-home caregivers and nannies who would come to our home and weigh all the pros and cons, find out costs, and gauge our comfort level with the individual caregivers themselves. While conceptually, it'd be great to have someone come to my house, and have my two be the only babies they watch, I need to have confidence that they won't just be planted in front of a tv all day, that they'll have experience w/ mulltple infants, and don't want to be scrambling for back up care should the nanny get sick or have an emergency.

laraashleyt · February 2013

I was blessed to be able to take 4 month maternity leave. I've now been back to work for a couple weeks and we decided to get a nanny. I didn't want my babies exposed to all those gems yet, plus, it was going to be such a hassle getting them up every morning earlier than normal and loading up all the millions of things that come along with two babies!!!!! We found our wonderful nanny on Care.com. We pay her $15 hour, 8am-4pm. So far.....it's been great! We'll hopefully continue doing this until 18 months or so.

keg · February 2013

Our initial plan was to do a nanny, particularly since I was only working 3 days a week and part-time daycare slots are really hard to find. I was also worried they'd be sick all the time at daycare. We interviewed a few candidates had one we liked. We were even talking contracts and such and she completely flaked on us. I was completely stressed about starting over from square one. DH wanted me to check out a daycare our friends had their kids at. Amazingly when I called, they had two infant slots open. We toured it and it just felt right. I liked that there was a lot of backup and we didn't have to somewhat blindly trust a complete stranger in our home with our children. Plus, 2 full time daycare slots cost about the same amount a part-time nanny would. I had grandiose plans of keeping one at home and sending the other on my day off work and such, but it turns out I use my "off" day to run errands and such that would be much more complicated if I had to take my girls. The girls did have a number of colds the first year or two, but overall, the amount of time they've been really sick and had to stay home hasn't been much at all in their almost 4 years there. They've also learned a ton and have a some good friends and great teachers. We'll be sending this LO to the same daycare too.

Mrs.Greg · February 2013

I could have written this exact post before my babies were born. We ended up getting a nanny for the babies (I went back to work when they were 5 months old) and our oldest continued to go to daycare. The plan was for the babies to join big sister at daycare when they turned 1 year. I ended up quitting my job when they were 14 months old. DH and I knew I was going to before their birthday so we asked the nanny to stay one for 2 more months.

I went back to work in January and was worried about the cold/flu. Keeping them home didn't prevent them from getting sick, but I still felt good about our decision.

Reilly626 · February 2013

Daycare - have you seen the latest nanny beating up a 5 month old in Staten Island, NY? Luckily they just put in nanny cams. If I was friends with the person and knew them fully I would do nanny. I am choosing daycare when I go back in September because I like the structure and that there are several people around and everything is on the up and up. Good luck with your choice- it's a hard one! If I did do a nanny I would put cameras everywhere!

radiant05 · February 2013

DS is almost 2 and has been in daycare since he was 3 months old. We were anticipating on sending #2 to daycare as well, but had to think on it some more when we found out we were expecting #2 and #3. After much consideration and research, we are going to send all 3 to daycare. Here's what factored into our decision.

- The rate I kept hearing from nanny's in our area was $20/hr + some overtime for over 40 hours a week + vacation + taxes, etc. DH and I both work more than 40hr work weeks.

- We live far away from family. If the nanny was to call in sick it would require me to stay home. "Working" from home with two infants would be impossible and I plan on exhausting most of my vacation for maternity leave.

- DS is doing really well in daycare, learning a lot, making friends. He has a great routine there and I can not simulate that same environment in our 2 bedroom apartment. I would feel terrible having him cooped up with two babies.He already starts to get cabin fever on the weekends.

- We really like our current daycare. The hours are awesome, the location is incredible convenient, they never call in sick, it's clean, well managed, the people are nice. DS was in a different center before the one he is in now and we are so glad we switched.

The biggest downfall is going to be cost. We plan on asking about a multiples discount and hope they might be a little accommodating.

Good luck with the decision!

kristen6 · February 2013

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. One of the reason I liked my daycare was because it's a great facility with tons of regulations from the parent company, etc. I was a little leery of in-home daycares and I'm worried about finding the right nanny. It's going to be a tough decision!

E&RMommy · February 2013

We tried daycare at 6 months old. PUt them in during cold/flu/RSV season - worst time of year. After seven weeks of both out sick 3 out of 5 days each week they both got RSV. Son in PICU for a week.

We pulled them from dacyare and have had a nanny ever since. She's been with us for almost two years. It makes life a MILLION times easier.

We love her. She is montessori trained and it shows.

Metts1 · February 2013

I am in the same situation. My son will be 3 in may. We are keeping him in daycare and getting a nanny for the twins. The nanny search has been hard tho. If we can't find the right nanny, we will do daycare. Those germs can be so rough on the little ones and plus it is SO much easier to have someone just show up at your house in the am instead of loading car, packing bags, etc.

Good luck in your decision.

erinruns · February 2013

I went with a nanny from the time my girls were 4 months old until 21 months. Daycare centers were too expensive with two, and in homes never had two infant openings at the same time. A nanny was far and away the best thing for us. The girls were at home, I didn't have to hustle everyone out the door, and once they were a little older the nanny could even run small errands for me like picking up diapers at Target. It was perfect for that age.

Once they got older and I wanted more crafts and structure and other kids around, I switched to a center and never looked back.

Mayan2011 · February 2013

We will be hiring a nanny - likely an international one. We are just starting the preliminary search now. I have at least 6 months left of maternity leave, maybe a full year if the additional 6 months that I have requested is approved. The major deciding factors for us: (1) we want one on one care for our children, (2) it is actually more affordable than daycare where we live, (3) packing up 2 children in the morning seems like a lot of work and time added to the 'working day', and (4) we are buying a new house and will have plenty of room to make a nanny comfortable so why not.

QBall27 · February 2013

kristen6:
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. One of the reason I liked my daycare was because it's a great facility with tons of regulations from the parent company, etc. I was a little leery of in-home daycares and I'm worried about finding the right nanny. It's going to be a tough decision!

Reading your OP and this one, I can relate to nearly every word. Our DD will be 3 when the twins arrive this spring. We LOVE the center she's been attending since she was a few months old. I am so thankful for the interaction with well-trained staff, socialization with other kids, learning/crafts/music/etc., -- and most of all, I have peace of mind knowing the accountability that is in place for a center (others always watching, rules/regulations, etc.).

We really thought a nanny would be the right way to go, but after budgeting for all of the related expenses (number of hours per week, sick/vacation time, taxes, insurance, etc.), considering the possibility that the nanny will be sick/late/have car trouble/etc., and then struggling over the fact that DD would not have anywhere near the positive interaction/learning opportunities that she has now (if we keep her at home with the twins & a nanny), it just doesn't add up favorably for our situation.

While we certainly don't have "room" in our budget for nearly $2500 - 3000 per month for child care, it's looking like that might be what we try to make work. When people say, "Oh, you're having twins? How exciting! That will be wonderful" I always think, well, yes, as long as you're not the one trying to figure out the budget to appropriately care for all 3 kids I know it will "...all work out" (another thing people love to say) -- but at the moment, it's difficult to see exactly how that will look. (SORRY my response got so long!)

anakah · February 2013

My twins have been in daycare since they were 12 weeks old. Of course they came home with a cold within the first 2 weeks of starting but the times in between colds have been stretching out longer and longer and they've yet to come home with anything worse than a cold (knocking on wood). The center we picked is really good at cleaning/sanitizing toys and washing hands which helps a ton. I had a really hard time trusting my kids to anyone without any oversight and we didn't have anyone for backup care if the nanny were to be sick except for us. So daycare was the better option for us.

To help make the mornings go smoother, we pack everythign up at night and dress the kids in whatever they're going to school in the next day so we just have to feed and change diapers in the morning. When they were young, all they did was sleep so they went in footie pajamas/sleep and plays. Now they're almost two and we dress them in comfy play clothes to sleep in, tshirts and leggings/cotton athletic pants. It helps to settle any wardrobe disagreements at night after their baths and you can just run out the door with them in the mornings.

Good luck with your decision.

LadyNikon · February 2013

My daycare gave us a discount. It ended up being about 200 a month off of what we would have paid. I looked up the cost of hiring a nanny and it isn't cheap enough to switch due to all of the other things that the daycare provides. Our daycare doesn't just watch the kids til you come pick them up. They actually keep her engaged, she has friends to play with and she is learning a lot to prepare for school. The boys are getting the attention they need and they are pretty tired when they come home because the staff tries to keep them awake in the daytime.

Daycare germs suck. But as you say your son is there so you still will end up with germs coming home. I make DD wash her hands as SOON as she comes in the house. She isn't allowed to touch NOTHING until she has done that. The other things is trying to keep DD out of the boys faces. Its soo hard to do it because she loves them so much. Good luck!

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