Wwyd? Friend delivering baby?

BlueJewelM · February 2013

Okay, so I guess officially OBs deliver babies, but the nurses are there for the whole thing.

Anyway, my friend now works in the maternity wing of the hospital I delivered at. We aren't super close, we met at a breastfeeding support group when our boys were little and run into each other at the gym and the park.

She jokes that when I get pregnant next, she's going to try and be my nurse! She doesn't know I am expecting yet. Anyway, how would you feel about a friend/acquaintance as your nurse during LD? I have mixed feelings.

PackersFan315 · February 2013

The hospital I'm going to has about three former classmates of mine and one of my brother's high school girlfriends as nurses. I'd actually be okay with them because they are professionals and my brother's high school ex was the one who referred me to my OB. They have been nurses for a long time so it's not like they are just out of college, so I think the professionalism is a little more. That being said, still a little weird but not enough to make me want to special request that they not be my nurse. Unless they screw up.

HannahsHope · February 2013

I actually had the same thing happen to me. There was a girl I went to HS with. We were never good friends in HS. Now that we're 12 years older, and she works on the maternity center, and I am a social worker on maternity, we kinda became friends. Our sons are only 10 days apart. She happened to be working the day my son was born, and was there for the birth. I mean... THERE... like at the end of the bed, THERE. Before, she'd mention how cool it was if she was working. Initally, I had a little trepidation about this. But, once it came time for the birth, I couldn't have cared freakin' less. Plus, do you know how many vaginas they see on a daily basis? To them, its second nature, so whats one more. Actually, its kinda nice, cause now we've become better friends, and have play dates with our boys. Just my two cents, but to each their own

BlueJewelM · February 2013

Yeah. I kinda think that too. And if anything, it may motivate me to keep up my waxing appts until the end.

I just really hope I don't poop in front of my play date pal. Haha.

NetPetal · February 2013

In general I would not want a friend/acquaintance to be my nurse.

Despite the fact that it could be totally fine or even end up being a positive experience there is the potential for it to be a bad experience. I wouldn't take that chance at a time when you are vulnerable and relying on their care.

I would let her know that you look forward to having a friend at the hospital but she really doesn't need to go out of her way to be assigned to you.

LnR70707 · February 2013

It really depends on her personality. Obviously there is just as much chance you could get a nurse you've never met that irritates the hell out of you, but you can walk away knowing they won't bring up pooping on the table the next time you see them at the gym.

MrsI · February 2013

I am a preschool teacher and one if my students moms was one of my nurses with DD. When she came in she asked if it was ok for her to see how far I was dialated or if I'd rather have another nurse, she didn't mind either way. I said she could go ahead and check. When it came time to push she wasn't originally in the room and I had a mean nurse there. I had some complications and more nurses came in including the one I knew. She was at the end of the bed and asked me to focus on her, and ignore the other nurse. She walked me through the rest of delivery and became my focal point, it was the best thing that could have happened to me!

I also feel like when you know someone you can get "inside scoops" and maybe a little better treatment. I really hope I can get the same nurse this time!

Also one of my kids parents is the u/s tech so she's done the transvaginal u/s and everything, I got over that when I realized I was getting "special" treatment with all the extra pics she printed me.

tdmklm · February 2013

I specifically asked my SIL - she's a delivery nurse - to be there for the birth of my first, and I've told her I'm not giving birth to this baby if she's not there (as if it happened that way... LOL). It was great to have her there. She was way more helpful than the other nurse assigned to me.

FWIW, I don't think ANY nurse would bring up pooping at the table in any context. That would be ridiculously unprofessional, and really, they're so used to that stuff it really doesn't phase them at all.

BlueJewelM · February 2013

LR70707:
Obviously there is just as much chance you could get a nurse you've never met that irritates the hell out of you

Off topic but one if my nurses for DS was awful. Praying to not have to see her again! She was an awful old lady who I felt was too rough with my baby. I'll take pooping in front of my pal over dealing with that old witch again! Ha!

amandamays88 · February 2013

As a nursing student about to graduate in may and having just finished my OB rotation I would say that I wouldn't mind having an acquaintance be my OB nurse. 1 because they will probably be more of a patient advocate for you when it comes to getting you what you want/need and 2 like someone said above...they see multiple births a day and it doesn't phase them like it would phase someone who has seen one birth. Also, as far as professionalism goes I disagree that the more experienced nurses are more professional. There are very professional new grad nurses as well as experienced nurses. There are also some unprofessional nurses new grad or experienced. It's more about their personality. So if you feel comfortable with this women then I'd say go for it. You might get special treatment!! Nurses legally can't tell anyone anything about your medical information/birth bc of HIPAA. Also, who knows if she'll even be working that shift. You could labor with her and it could switch to the night shift nurse, etc. She might stay because she knows you but it's just another thing to think about. Good luck in whatever you decide!

Iblamethebeer · February 2013

tdmklm:
FWIW, I don't think ANY nurse would bring up pooping at the table in any context. That would be ridiculously unprofessional, and really, they're so used to that stuff it really doesn't phase them at all.

I agree with this -- if your friend is a competent professional, then she's not going to be noting and later commenting on your poop, your pubic hair, or anything else personal.

MrsI · February 2013

MrsI:
I am a preschool teacher and one if my students moms was one of my nurses with DD. When she came in she asked if it was ok for her to see how far I was dialated or if I'd rather have another nurse, she didn't mind either way. I said she could go ahead and check. When it came time to push she wasn't originally in the room and I had a mean nurse there. I had some complications and more nurses came in including the one I knew. She was at the end of the bed and asked me to focus on her, and ignore the other nurse. She walked me through the rest of delivery and became my focal point, it was the best thing that could have happened to me!

I also feel like when you know someone you can get "inside scoops" and maybe a little better treatment. I really hope I can get the same nurse this time!

Also one of my kids parents is the u/s tech so she's done the transvaginal u/s and everything, I got over that when I realized I was getting "special" treatment with all the extra pics she printed me.

Also wanted to add that when any of these people see me at work they have never even brought up my pregnancy. They are very professional about it and never made seeing them outside of their workplace uncomfortable.

Monilee1017 · February 2013

One of the surgeons I used to work with wanted to deliver my son if I had to have a c-section. I had a c-section but didn't page him, he was in the hospital at the time doing office hours. Looking back I wish I had him there things went wrong and it would have been nice to have someone who actually cared about me there. Other then my husband, you know someone who could actually do something.

MrsSteSte · February 2013

One of our very good male friends will be a first year obgyn resident at the hospital I'll deliver at. He won't know his schedule until late this spring, but there's a very good chance he'll be delivering babies in August. He's going to be an amazing OB.

I'm totally down with him being involved in the birth, from the waist up. I actually think it would be good for my H to have him around. But I can't imagine going to dinner with him and his wife ever again otherwise. lol

TristansMom01 · February 2013

Yikes, personally I would say no. None of nursing friends are close enough to me though that I would feel comfortable with them seeing EVERYTHING. Maybe if it was a close friend.

BlueJewelM · February 2013

I know she would be really professional and never do or say anything to make me feel uncomfortable. So the only issue would be my feelings.

I agree about the special treatment though! I'm hoping I definitely see her when it's over. I'm going to ask her for some of those huuuuuge pads they give you after delivery. I stashed a few extra to take home last time. Going to grab even more this time around!!! I was a bleeder!!!!

lynn97 · February 2013

I think it just really depends on the girl and your friendship. My old boss's wife works LD at one of my local hospitals and there is no way I would want her delivering my baby. I am sure she is very good at her job but she would tell the most inappropriate stories about women's grooming, their complaining, etc. I am sure that many nurses talk about these things but I found it to be highly unprofessional. I wouldn't want to be the subject of her next girls' night out story.

akbrown64 · February 2013

My best friend is a L&D nurse and she was my nurse for most of my long L&D with DS (except when she went home to sleep). I found it very comforting to have her there and it's fun that she was there when he was born via c-section. I also got some special treatment because she hand-picked all my nurses for me.

Katie6202 · February 2013

I am a nurse and would never take care of someone I know. There is too much liability .god forbi something bad happend, I would not want that responsibility associated with me. It can ruin friendships and relationships

Charmed181 · February 2013

One of my mother's friends is an LandD nurse at the hospital I deliver at. She has been there for both of my previous births and I hope she is there for this one. She is very professional, and because we know each other outside the situation, she is more calming to me than the other nurses. She's never done a cervix check or anything, because let's face it THAT would be weird. But she is very supportive. It's like having extra people in your corner.

elynds · February 2013

My mom had a close friend who worked at the hospital where she was going to deliver and my mom was really not wanting her there.
As it turns out, she was on call, but in the end because she was my moms friend and paying really close attention, she noticed that something was wrong and effectively saved my brother's life. So, it's nice to have someone who is personally interested in your wellbeing during delivery.

Lovemygarrett · February 2013

My mom and a friend works ld at the hospital I deliver at. I loved having them for my sons birth, just so happened my friend was there that day. I don't mind it but its a personal thing

cajunrunner · February 2013

I wouldn't worry about it. She may not even be on duty when you deliver and like pp said they see so many births every day so she probably won't be too phased by yours and will actually probably be a better advocate for you.

Want a personalized experience?

Wwyd? Friend delivering baby?

Re: Wwyd? Friend delivering baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards